disability living allowance turned down for 5 year old son

[emmaf01]

I have been advised to look at claiming DLA for my son who has developmental delay, resulting behavioural problems and eczema. He's four and has a paediatrician, psychologist and speech therapist. We've recently had his assessment for special needs help for when he starts big school in September.

 

We haven't got a definite diagnosis for his issues, we've been given speculative labels of ASD(possibly) to ADHD(absolutely wrong IMO). Our paediatrician won't commit herself until she can be sure, so will just keep observing for another couple of years.

 

We've been blamed for his problems, having to deal with social workers questioning every aspect of our lives. It was supposed to be to get us more help but the only thing it got us was an extra wheely bin due to all the nappies!

 

We have attended parenting classes even though we've read many theories and books on child behaviour and strategies and had the psychologist show we are very thorough and committed to helping our child.

 

Some days are reasonable, some bad but all are exhausting. Due to not having any extended family available, its all on us.

 

My big push until September is trying to get him toilet trained for school. We've only been at this for years! But with the help of the child psychologist (since January), we've battled his "toilet phobia" so at least he will now sit on the loo but not do anything(he used to have screaming hysterics and wouldn't got in the bathroom- we think perhaps tiled, echoing room, noise sensitivity). Now just his food phobia, bathing phobia, etc to go!

 

This thread has been invaluable as after I read the DLA forms I didn't know if we were eligible (even though I get DLA myself). I'll talk to his paediatrician when I see her.

 

Its nice to hear that other parents have an "interesting" time with their children too. Good luck with your tribunal.

[emmaf01]

good luck - from my own tribunal experience- I sat, petrified with tears running down my face, and that was just in the waiting room!

 

We never made it in to the tribunal. The clerk came out and told us they had received a letter THAT DAY from the DWP saying that 2 weeks before they had changed there decision and we'd won. They just hadn't bothered to tell us or the welfare rights officer handling our appeal.

 

I hope your appeal is as successful (without the shaking and crying)!

Edited July 17, 2008 by emmaf01
spelling

[emmaf01]

Mine also tears the wallpaper off the bedroom walls when he wakes up early- woodchip. And now the cat has brought in fleas.

 

Roll on September.

[emmaf01]

I nearly bought a house rabbit yesterday, just because it was bigger (and blacker) than the cat. Then I remembered the chaos caused by just a cat and Michael and went back to buying out every flea product nd natural insect repellant in the pet shop.

 

He was a big bunny, almost a were-rabbit.

 

Anyway, how are the nerves and the hoovering!

[emmaf01]

Its alright, I've got three white bin bags of cuddly toys to wash- some of which were purchased by non-thinking relative, aren't washable and are going to have to disappear to the great toy shop in the sky. If they can't be washed they can't live here!

 

The only thing our cat has brought in was another cat- which he got the infestation from!

 

One of our previous cats brought in two living mice which she put down and they walked back out of the door- we were convinced she'd paid them to play along to make her look hard. She was incredibly dumb, but beautiful and we loved her!

 

We have two Dysons at present- a big one (with flea collar inside to kill any blighters that survive) and a posh hand held one- completely impractical as the charge only lasts for 6 minutes but can do the stairs/dropped cereal. You can tell it was a present, can't you (from the person with non-washable toys).

 

I'm off again to clear some woodchip- someone had a busy night.

[emmaf01]

You've got enough on your plate at the moment, haven't you!

 

Maybe for the tribunal write down a typical day or week if you can manage it. And put down everything from bedroom carnage to interesting incidents while out- you get the picture. And all the maintenance work you have to do, hoovering, repairs, (like I had to re-put up the curtain rail in the bedroom today, pulled down for the twentieth time- I'll have no wall left to drill/screw into next time). It all helps, especially if you make it a bad day!

[emmaf01]

I don't think I had anything from my GP and just a letter from my consultant (which she had "collaberated" with my welfare rights guy so it contained everything necessary- he sent it back twice until she got it right!).

 

Other than that, relax- if you think of something, carry a pad about and write it down. Then at least its out of your head. Sad but it works for me!

[emmaf01]

You just need to go, get there on time and answer anything they ask you. You will be fine.

 

Can't wait to hear how it goes- don't feel bad if you come across as a stressed Mum doing her best in difficult circumstances! It all helps- cry buckets if necessary, saying you are desperate for the extra help which DLA could pay for.

 

Good luck- I can't think of anything else- give it your best shot!

[emmaf01]

It is extremely stressful, but you won! And shouldn't you get extra child tax credit as well? That's a win in my book!

 

And it gets backdated to when you applied!

 

Hooray!