Jysmystry v Optical Express

[ScarletPimpernel]

Excellent letter.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Alas, the image is too small to read.

 

However, they say never interupt your enemy when he is making a mistake

 

Said by Napoleon Bonaparte, apparently, though Admiral Lord Nelson is also quoted as saying:

 

Gentlemen, when the enemy is committed to a mistake we must not interrupt him too soon.

 

I give you another of Nelson's in return. It was his famous signal to the Fleet at Trafalgar:

 

Engage the enemy more closely

[ScarletPimpernel]

Lyndsey isn't very good with English, is she?

 

Starting almost every sentence with 'I' shows that she hasn't really thought her letter through. No points for brevity either - why not write 'you' instead of 'yourself'. Best of all, however, is the last sentence; surely she means 'consequently' and not 'subsequently'?

 

I have to caution against entering a battle of wits with this woman, as she is clearly unarmed.

[ScarletPimpernel]

A suggestion or two:

 

Dear Ms. Madden,

 

DEBT RECOVERY

 

Thank you for your letter and enclosures dated 11th February 2008.

 

Firstly my apologies for the delay in my response, I have been away. Whilst I am grateful for your apology, acknowledge the date of the enclosure (which suggests I was not completely ignored!) and appreciate the information it contains it appears that you have totally failed to take on-board the issues raised in my letter.

 

I summarise below the points you appear to have missed: -

• The payment of £10 was not in any way a payment on the account but was the prescribed maximum fee accompanying a properly formatted Subject Access Request pursuant to the Data Protection Act 1998. The fee is the maximum that can be charged; data controllers are under no obligation to charge anything. Even though you returned the payment, therefore, my request was deemed served on 4th February 2008 and the statutory time limit of 40 days from the date of service remains extant.
  
• Whilst I appreciate your attempt to provide information, I am afraid it is unhelpful. It will save all parties a great deal of time if you simply give me the information I have asked for now and indeed, pursuant to my S.A.R - (Subject Access Request) you have no option but to provide the data. If you fail to comply I may bring proceedings to force compliance; if you start litigation I will force disclosure through Part 18 of the Civil Procedure Rules.
  
• You have failed to provide me with details of your complaints policy, nor have you confirmed that no such policy exists.
  
• You have failed to advise me as to whether Optical Express enjoys the accreditation of any third party organisation or governing body.

I am wholly unable to consider making any payment to you on the basis of an erroneous list of dates and I do not wish to enter into protracted correspondence on this matter, especially since it seems from your reply that you do not read or understand my letters. I would therefore suggest it would be mutually beneficial if you comply with my S.A.R - (Subject Access Request) before we continue with this matter; the sooner you comply the sooner you may receive payment. Please confirm that you have passed my SAR to your Data Compliance Officer. In the meantime, I would be grateful to receive ahead of that time details of the points I raise in 3. & 4. above as I wish to make a formal complaint on the handling of this matter.

 

I look forward to receiving your response.

 

Yours faithfully

 

Mr Jysmystry

[ScarletPimpernel]

These clowns really are turning out well, aren't they?

 

To those engaged with them, I offer another quote from my hero, Admiral Lord Nelson: "I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humour."

[ScarletPimpernel]

Could it be that the sender of the latest final demand didn't notice that his colleague was 'investigating'?

 

Perhaps he needs his eyes testing...

[ScarletPimpernel]

The only surprise in Lyndsey's letter is that she has not signed it in crayon.

 

To misquote Blackadder: "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Lyndsey?"

[ScarletPimpernel]

None the less I take great offence at ScarletPimpernel's quoting blackadder like that! Clearly blackadder was talking about Baldrick when using that phrase and so presumably you are attempting to liken our Lydnsey to Baldrick!!

 

Blackadder was talking about Lord Percy.

[ScarletPimpernel]

On the other hand, why not offer a turnip as full and final settlement?

[ScarletPimpernel]

f you have issued a SAR (s.7 of the DPA 1998), you can enforce it in court. The court should order them to comply, and you should get your costs.

 

It's also worth reporting them to the ICO - they won't do much, but it's all grist to the mill.

[ScarletPimpernel]

.....and Lyndsey is a very astute and capable employee?

 

For whom every day must be like 01 April...

[ScarletPimpernel]

on front of FPN is a note: MITIGATION WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED AND CORRESPONDENCE NOT ENTERED INTO.

 

So where you live, the local authority believes that the right to a fair trial, as embodied in the Human Rights Act, doesn't apply.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I know it was me that said it wasn't relevant to thread but I have to share this bit of guidance for Police Officers using handheld laser speed guns.

 

Never point a laser speedmeter at a civil or military aircraft, vessel or armoured vehicle. Many military aircraft, vehicles or vessels have target acquisition detectors, some of which can initiate automatic counter measures.

 

Just to go even more off topic...

 

There is an story that does the rounds occasionally about a police officer who 'clocks' a Tornado low-flying, and returns to his HQ to be told that the aircraft's weapons system had acquired a lock-on to his handheld radar.

 

It is, sadly, an urban myth. Aircraft systems identify targets as hostile when the radar illuminates; all the various systems have an identifiable signature. In any case, such systems would not be armed whilst in transit over UK airspace. though I expect the Americans, who always do the right thing after they have tried everything else, have probably done it by mistake.

 

I suspect that the originator of the tale is thinking of CIWS (Close In Weapon Systems) such as Phalanx or Goalkeeper, used by the RN to counter attack from missiles such as Exocet, and aircraft.

 

A vehicle-borne version is an interesting concept, not least because these things fire about 4000 rounds per minute, though I suspect mounting it on a car might prove troublesome...