Ammani, if you go to the 'Welcome' forum (i.e. the page that opens at the very beginning you'll see the second (or maybe third) "sticky" down is headed 'Do you need a parachute account?' and then follows a list of all the banks that offer them and their minimal conditions. If you Google Co-op Bank and get onto Cashminder current account and call the number they should open one for you over the telephone. Hope this helps. We're both in the same boat here. Regards Van

I took the precaution of using the FD internet banking site to advise I had mailed a cheque to their Camberley address to cover some £50 odd worth of small debit orders due yesterday. No internet reply received just a phone call to say they had bounced the DOs and "what did I mean by Camberley address?" I pointed out it was the address printed on the envelope they had sent for the mailing of cheques. The woman seemed not to know what I was talking about. I tried to get into my account as she was speaking but was unable to do so at the same time as her. A couple of hours later I obtained access and there was my 'Camberley' credit sitting in the account - but no debits. Today - guess what - charges for bouncing! Obviously a case of left hands and right hands, but I suppose I have now got to go back to the three companies involved, grovel, and ask them to re-present the debits. Anyone have any idea whether I have any comeback? And how can a bank employee - particularly one from a bank than handles all transactions by mail - not know what address they use on their own self-addressed envelopes? Vandermerwe

I rather think the moral of this saga is: a) Don't wear a kilt, dress sensibly instead. b) If you must, don't get drunk! Vandermerwe

You can be sure I will dream better tonight!! I have to confess I learned my Spanish in South America (Chile to be precise) and my favourite dictionary gives the translation of the verb 'trasnocher' as 'to keep late hours; to go out on the tiles'. I found **Mementos** rather beautiful though. Back to a battle with First Direct tomorrow. They credited my account with sufficient money to pay debit orders due today but chose to bounce them instead. Huele mierda! Van

Why bother to close your account Ammani - just don't have any money paid in to it. You could toss them the odd groat now and then to pay off any legitimate charges. I'd avoid the Post Office if I were you as I understand the DSS (or whatever they call themselves this week) are ceasing payments into Post Office accounts soon - probably part of the government's plan to close them down! From what I recall, the Co-op issues a card which can be used to draw cash and also pay debit orders (no cheque book though). I have to call them tomorrow about my account and I'll ask and then post what they say. Regards. Van

Sorry, PD - can't help what I dream about. I've just Googled trasnochadora to see what you would have come up with and after reading the third down 'Trasnochadora-42**Momentos** reckon I've more than made up for the 'S' word! I didn't mean to be sooooo personal - for gawd's sake don't tell Pete. Afectuosamente Van

You're a bit of a late night girl aren't you PD? Bet you got a reputation as una trasnochadora in Ibiza! I woke up this morning remembering I had been dreaming it was a salamander. Honest, but can't think why. Bit disillusioned now to hear it's nothing symbolic. I'm sure Pete will be back soon. Regards Van

Now it's my turn to try and guess PD! What happened in Ibiza to make you change? I'd grown quite fond of the pink eye, but am sure there's something symbolic about your new avatur but, for the life of me, canb't figure out what. Regards as ever. Van

Ammani, I would like to see YOU control your affairs and not some miserable little bank clerk. No matter what you, I, or Nationwide think of British Law - it still exists, and has done at least since Magna Carta and until the idiots who want us to be ruled by Brussels get their way it is still applied. And it is illegal for banks to take your - or my - state benefits to pay their own grubby little charges. I phoned the National Debtline for advice on the very same problem and one of their first pieces of advice was to open a parachute account. They recommended, among others the Co-op Bank which will open a basic account called Cashminder for anyone who has not been convicted of fraud. A CCJ does not count as fraud. All your benefits should be paid into that account and then you will hold the whip hand over Nationwide and will be able to tell the little jerk how YOU intend running your affairs. Please let me know if you want links on this site, phone numbers or anything else. I'll help to the best of my ability. Best regards. Vandermerwe

Vodster, I'd avoid the CAB if I were you. Their efficacy totally depends on who you see and that's up to chance (and possibly a long wait). Rather call the National Debtline on 0808 808-4000. They are also a charity but employ full time advisers. The one I spoke to recently was absolutely on the ball. They also have a load of fact sheets for downloading or receipt by mail. Good luck. Van

Hi Godrer>. I didn't realise your situation was as complicated as it now sounds. I've never had much faith in CABx anyway, but bankruptcy is a major step and I suggest you call the National Debtline (in English this time of course!) on 0808 808 4000 and discuss the pros and cons. They have loads of fact sheets and the adviser I spoke to recently seemed very on the ball and offered practical help. They're a charity so there's no charge. Keep us posted. Regards. Van

Thanks BTB. I learn something new every day from this site! Regards Van

Thanks PD. How was Ibiza? Still plutzing Monday morning. Van

I'm still learning, though like to think I've helped a couple of people, but I'm an absolute novice when it comes to computerspeak (and computerspell). May I please ask what the word "bump" signifies when it comprises, in some cases, the sole word on a post? Also, what is the significance, of a "sticky"? In humility. Vandermerwe

Knowing who you're dealing with indebtstudent I'd bet my bottom dollar the summons has come from Northampton Bulk Centre and if you defend it will automatically be transferred to your local court. Vandermerwe

Probably not alwayspoor, but they can, and should, get better! I know CCCS is available Saturday morning (but probably very busy) Start reading, and good luck again Van

An update for you deedee, not only because you asked, but because I'm thoroughly disillusioned now and need a bit of TLC. I received a letter with a handwritten signature (how's that!) from 'my' HSBC branch from someone calling herself Branch Manager saying she had heard I had mentioned my difficulty in contacting them (that was in May) and giving me her direct number!!!! OK, it was an 0845 number, but it worked! Before calling her I sent copies of four unanswered letters by recorded delivery, obtained a signature from Royal Mail, and called her. She breezily explained mail was not delivered to the branch, (despite the use of a street number and correct post code) was was automatically sent to a 'clearing centre'. She agreed I could move my account to a now more convenient branch but added "we're all one bank now so there's not really much point" and promptly credited me with £250 of recent charges. 'Progress', thought Van in his naive way until he asked about what he was allowed to pay from the account. "What about my HSBC card payment you have just bounced" I asked "since you are all one bank now?" "Oh, you had better ask them when you go into ******* Branch" she replied, and I swear I could hear buttock clenching in action. Van can be a bit sadistic when he wants to so he asked if she would allow a cheque for £2 in order than he might renew his disabled parking permit. The sound of unclenching was unmistakable as she "thought that would be OK and would make a few notes on the account". One of my unanswered letters had drawn attention to my rights of first appropriation of monies credited weekly and so I asked my Branch Manager if she was aware of the relevant regulations of the Social Security Act but it seemed (much clenching again) she couldn't remember much about them since her banking college days. Looking on my internet banking account the next day I saw £250 had, indeed, been credited and three cheques paid but another one bounced. All four were for very small amounts, made out to our local village store we like to patronise, and should all have been bank guaranteed as the headmistress (sorry, owner) insists. Unfortunately one of her assistants had not copied the guarantee details on one cheque as she reckoned she had known Mr. Van for a long time and he was 'alright' Obviously I grovelled, explained that at his age Mr. Van must have a few dark secrets lurking in his past, and proffered a new, obviously bank guaranteed, cheque plus the £4 the HSBC had charged her. She banks there too and only pays in every couple of weeks or so, hence the four cheques. Yesterday I get a letter on ******* Branch letterhead, complete with their listed building address (but general call centre telephone number) and a facsimile signature saying, in effect, don't bother changing branches, they have no decision making authority. Today, HSBC bounced my b****y mortgage payment. That's the first time ever since young Van became a property owner nearly 50 years ago. Haven't got a room to spare in Brixton have you? Never mind, still laffin as Pete would say. If you want a bit of a laugh do look at new poster Godren's HSBC site. I think it's Godren - if not something very similar - having typed this much I dare not try and check back. I'll have a good plutz over the weekend and think what to do next. In anguish. Van

Hi Matt. I'd say we've got to wait a couple of years. Wonder if the banks are going to hold off loading charges while we all wait. I'm not holding my breath. Regards. Vandermerwe

Hi Alwayspoor. I am deeply sympathetic for you, but it ain't sympathy you want - it's positive help, and this is where to get it and control your situation instead of the other way round. I've been having a rant because HSBC are nicking my state benefits for their own penalty charges and am, this weekend, writing a letter taken from this site to tell them they are behaving illegally. So step number one: Make two phone calls, one to: The Consumer Credit Counselling Service on 0800 138-1111 and the other to: National Debtline on 0808 808 4000 and fully outline your situation to both. There are registered charities, make no charge, are independent and, above all staffed with full time and highly skilled debt professionals. In my case the CCCS set up a debt management programme which enable them to pay my creditors a small sum each month and they've saved my sanity (not to mention that of my wife). The only negative is that despite their friendly and helpful staff they tend to shy away from commenting on specific companies by name saying (in my case) "we have to work with them". The National Debtline is, again in my opinion, more forthright and has a far wider range of data sheets for downloading or mailing to you. If the person I spoke to recently is typical of their advisers you will be recommended to open a 'parachute account' (and given a list of providers) and reclaim your charges. Step number two: Leave this thread where it is (on the 'Welcome' site) and you'll get a few more bits of general advice, then go to the bank forum and open up the Nationwide site and start a new thread there. Step number three: Read the sites for newcomers (newbies or idiots like me) and remember the site has a search function at the top which can be very useful - try searching for 'state benefits' for instance. Personally I try and thank anyone who has given me good advice or click on their scales (that's the grey blob at the bottom left between the green circle and the red triangle. Finally you'll find a lot of humour (mainly sardonic - but not always) on the site. Good luck - you're in good company now. Regards Vandermerwe

Hi MMV2. Go to the bank forum, locate your bank and post a new thread there. Then read the success stories. Hope this is a good start for you, and best of luck. Regards. Vandemerwe

But they do. At least the cynical computers that appear to run HSBC do. Letters referring to the Social Security Administration Act are ignored; a telephone call specifically asking if a "Bank Manager" was aware of it resulted in the flippant reply of "not since I went to banking college". What do we do? If you are alleged to be driving at 35 mph in a 30 mph zone you are today considered guilty until you can prove your innocence. HSBS is also totally ignoring the law of the land to serve its own purpose. Vandermerwe

Rugbsy, please repost from the 'Welcome' site to HSBC in the banking section. You'll get far more help there and may even find one of my posts about HSBC cases being allocated to the smalls claim track. In my experience small claims are heard in an entirely separate court and the outcome can be very uncertain. I'm still researching as I have a pending claim against HSBC. Keep in touch and good luck. Vandermerwe

Leo, there's a load of information on this site but before you even start looking please do yourself a favour and phone the following: CCCS (Counsumer Credit Counselling Service) 0800 138-1111 and National Debtline 0808 808 4000. They are both free, non-judgemental and neutral. The National Debtline's fact sheets - again free on request - are particularly good. Neither organization is perfect - what is in this world we live in - but CCCS has saved my sanity. And no, I don't work for either and CAG allows their names and phone numbers to be published on site - a fact that spaks for itself. Then come back, choose another thread, and tell us more - there are literally thousands of people here to help you, some of which are extremely knowledgeable indeed. Good luck! Vandermerwe

Well done Sir Percy! The HSBC chap sounds as though he was so polite he was obviously from the Philippines. I'm sure I've posted somewhere how I chatted to a Filipina bird (sorry lady) for ages until Mrs. Van heard me and thought HSBC was a code word between us and she knows I find them gorgeous. The ladies, that is, and not the banks. Let's just hope you don't get a slapper from - er - somewhere nearer home next time. One must be careful of sensibilities on this forum! Regards Van

Casparagus, repost on the LLoyds TSB section of the forum. Of course we wish you luck. Vandermerwe