Banned From Sainsburys - Worried They’ll Investigate Me

[janiceelliott]

In short, without going into detail - I’ve been having an awful time, between problems at home and financial worries

 

I’ve been incredibly stupid, this is without question no excuse for what I have done.

 

I am deeply ashamed and have been struggling with the guilt.

 

On a few occasions now I have not scanned all of my items in my self scan and shop in Sainsburys to be able to afford all of my shopping. Using the app on my phone as I go around. 

This is unacceptable.

 

I was caught last week by a very aggressive Asian male security guard who thought I’d done it before

 

(admittedly correctly although he thought I’d not paid for any of my shopping and wouldn’t listen when I said that wasn’t the case but admitted what had happened and even called me a stupid little white girl and refused to listen to me).

 

The other supporting security guards found the whole thing amusing. Joked about calling the police and how long I’d get in prison (the store manager called did throw them a disapproving look and they soon stopped). They just weren’t being as aggressive and cruel as the lead security guy.

 

I admitted what I’d done, the store manager was called and was very reasonable and understanding, and despite proving what I’d paid for I agreed to pay for the entire shop again.

The police weren’t called and I received a ban letter and a warning about possibly getting some other letters in the post.

 

This has been the shock I needed and I am getting some additional help with my mental health and will not be taking such stupid risks ever again 

 

I’m riddled with the worry and guilt that this security guard, because he was so nasty, is going to go out of his way to investigate me and go through CCTV to try and prove the other times it’s happened and that they’ll build a case and turn up on my doorstep. 
 

I’m also worried about this letter they’ve said I might get. 
 

Can anyone help me with some knowledge and advice?

 

I’m loosing sleep, constantly on the verge of tears and worried about what’s going to happen and that my life is going to fall alert.

 

Please know that I will never do this again and I am beyond disgusted with myself

[janiceelliott]

I appreciate your reply. Thank you.

 

 I have consulted my GP (I think I mentioned I have reached out for help) and have reached out to the crisis team who have supported me previously.

 

I figured someone might feel triggered and/or think I was being offensive with how I described the security guard.

 

However I felt I needed to describe how I’d been treated and the fact that the security guard was very viscous and cruel and actually referred to me/called me a silly little white girl so I could explain why I felt I might be targeted for investigation.

 

I am in no way racist or prejudiced and my language here isn’t the problem and I’ve been very specific about accepting my responsibility and shame. 

 

If you think him doing his job involves him being cruel, aggressive (I made no attempt to escape or run and he grabbed me by the arm - I have a bruise) and essentially being racist himself with his remark then I think maybe my I’m confused.

 

I am in no way, shape or form avoiding my responsibility or denying what I have done and the shame I should feel and the guilt it has caused me.

 

I should feel ashamed. I am sorry. 
I’m not denying that. 

however I was describing the situation and trying to explain why I would feel so concerned 

im sorry if anything I have said came across as anything besides remorseful and I am certainly not racist

 

Again I would like to highlight that I have not used any of this as an excuse for what I have done and if anything I feel relieved that this short cycle of behaviour has been broken but I just needed to know if my concerns that were deepening the depressive anxiety I have found myself in were very real 

Edited October 22, 2022 by dx100uk
unnecessary previous post quote removed

[janiceelliott]

Thank you for your help and advice. Again - I’ve highlighted that I’m getting help. I don’t deny that this situation is poor and I’ve been a horrible disgraceful person. It’s going to take a great deal of work to come to terms with what I’ve done. 
The shame alone is probably keeping me awake along with and more so the fear of someone turning up on my doorstep. 
 

And thank you for your last comments.

 

I think the words from the security guard have affected me and shamed me. They are no reflection of how I see people. And again I have explained why I described the situation. 

Edited October 22, 2022 by dx100uk
unnecessary previous post quote removed + *please dont swear - removed -dx

[janiceelliott]

I’ve now had 3 letters from DWF which as recommended I have ignored but the latest one states that they will consider commencing court proceedings within 14 days and that:

 

sum may increase

county court judgment may be issues

credit rating will affected for 6 years

a bailiff may attend my house

they may seek a court order to contact my employer and take money from my earnings 

 

Should I continue to ignore these letters or is this more serious than previous ones people have been sent?

 

would appreciate any help and advice 

 

thank you so much