Thank you, everyone, who has read and replied to my post. I apologise for the delay in responding, but I have recently diagnosed by two clinical psychologists I am and have been suffering from Complex PTSD with Dissociative Disorders.
For the past 8 years, the psychiatrists I have seen have tried to fob me off with psychotic medication that I refused to take. Social services failed to pick up on the signs. My children all under 18 years old at the time let a social worker into the house and showed her to my bedroom. I now know I was in a 'dissociative shut down'. These episodes of 'dissociative shut down' occurred regularly continuing for two/three days at a time - continue even to this date.
The social worker on a visit at a later describes the following to me; she had witnessed on the above earlier visit. It still frightens me that my children had been subject to seeing me 'completely incoherent, very pale and waxy' exact words relayed to me by the social worker. Obviously to the above but I questioned what she meant by 'waxy' I learnt that a dead body looks waxy. My poor brave children had regularly been seen me in the above-described state; it makes me wipe and guilty(even though I had no control over these dissociative shut episodes.)
However, having now learnt all this and other events that my children witnessed that fall within Complex PTSD symptoms. Social services failed in their duty of safeguarding of vulnerable minors who only had one parent that being me as my husband had passed away in 2006.
I am a professional with a good honours degree and a Post Graduate Education. An independent, high functioning individual but it happened to me. I know I am not alone. There, are so many families who are experiencing the very same failures by an inept system. I could rant on and on, but I guess we all have our problems to cope with.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.