hi all, - there seems to have been, amazingly, much, horror, comments - mostly sarcastic, all due to the timing of my post, and then half an hour later, asking, in inocennce, about receiving 25 viewings but no replies - I only asked for help - which is of course what this site is all about. The time of the post is irrelevant - some of us work rubbish hours, so that is my 10am - lucky you if it isnt yours! no need to punish me with sarcastic comments though! Particularly awful, unbelievably from bankfodder, from the site itself, telling me to "get real" - following comments from his colleague - presumably? already, Martin3030, who nicely explained that I needed to leave more time for people to read and answer my post. Amazing, that two people working on same site, same time of day, or in this case, like myself, morning, can be so different in attitude, bankfodder, being not so pleasant - i thought the site was supposed to be supportive - you should have recognised I was stressed and in a difficult work situation, time message posted, is irrelevant - this is what you should be there for, not making sarcastic, dry comments, humiliating people who are utilising your site to gain assistance. I will not again thanks to you, i think you are a disgrace and should not be allowed to be on the site, given your attitude. you should keep it to yourself, like those of us in the professional sector have to do, regardless of our opinions, regardless of our views, and simply do our job - you were quite simply vile and malicious without reason and are a disgrace to this site as an ambassador of them. i wont use this site again because of you.

25 views and no replies - i know you can help, please do, need to know before next week if this is possible? thank you again in advance

I can so sympathise with you - HR have been supportive, but its all irrelevant really, like they are doing what they have to do and ticking a box. HR person, who attends my sickness review meetings, was also management support in recent DH against me - she was harsh and cruel and untrue! whereas, i once thought i could talk to her, now I absolutely do not! i am glad you followed your heart - i wish i had that courage - trouble is, i dont know what to do or where to go or what on earth i want to do - that always helps at least:) hope you are ok now.

Hi, thanks for reading post - look forward, I hope, to your comments! If you were out and about locally where you lived, bumped into a couple of ex colleagues who you had worked with for several years - if they then proceeded - unprompted by yourself - to tell you that, they had recently had an allegation made against them at work, had been investigated, had to attend a susequent disciplinary hearing, the outcome also revealed - which was no case to answer - and also named the person who had made the allegation against them (who you used to work with also and knew well at that time) - would this be considered to be a breach of confidentiality? I know, that you are always told after such events, having just had my own recent DH, that you are told, that the information is confidential and must not be discussed - yet my Union rep says that it is not a breach, as this happened to them - is their own personal information, and if they want to discuss it they can - confusing!!!! i would welcome your comments! thanks in advance as always x

Dear circumhrgal, many thanks for your words of wisdom - I can totally see your perspective now, and indeed that of my employers - also, if i were merely part of the "chit chat" then I would not be in the position I am in today. I fully intend to go to the DH, stating my case and hopefully show that I have had time to reflect and that I can see the error of my ways. Which is true, I understand now, and I am beyond mortified, that a slip of the tongue, misguided ignorance, or lack of judgement has led me to this situation now - my whole career down the pan due to a brief discussion - it is incredibly sad - and therefore but the grace of god go all of you - you truly think it will never happen to you - but it does - it has to me! A very hard lesson to learn, but one I will never forget - particularly thanks to your advise - wish my rep was that good!!! I cannot thank you enough. Best wishes to you. x

Many thanks for all your comments. You are all very accurate and right - I simply should have known better. Dont fancy my chances! Many thanks again anyway - I am grateful for all your comments.

Dear Stu007 - thank you, yes you are completely right, which of course is why I am now facing Disciplinary Action - i was there at the DH meeting, and of course, I fully understood any information I heard was confidential. My point is, that, a week or so later, I was signed of sick by my GP with depression (long overdue, but I simply would not go off sick and recognise there was a problem). i barely left the house - the first time I did was 3 weeks after I had gone off sick, then the week after - only to go locally to get provisions - it was on this occasion that I met ex colleagues - they were friends of the dismissee - not only in life, as colleagues, admittedly, but also on line on facebook. The person who reported me to managment was also a friend of the dismissee on facebook. All were ex colleagues of mine where I used to work, some I knew for over 13 years. It is hard to take. As stated, the one who reported this incident to management, has now obtained an acting team manager role - so at least I can understand the rationale. My manager is aware of this, and i informed them that, due to my current situation and circumstances, I did not feel it was appropriate to divulge, discuss and of course make an allegation against someone, who had of course done the same against me, thus my current position! I told them that I would following the outcome of my DH regardless of the outcome. This causes me much concern, because of course, it will merely be seen as sour grapes in truth. Although, if you can help this leads me onto another question I have been battling with. The person who reported me for breach of confidentiality, just appointed in a managerial secondment role - I have information where they committed the same offence and also plagiarism, in regards of their degree course - which was not relayed to the organisation - deceit? shows untruthful character? I think and know it does! It is all so very awful - not clear cut! feel set up really, so someone, a colleague, can further their career, which ofcourse is what is happening - someone, who when I was a sister on ITU, had barely qualified! so need help, advise, comments, perspective - am I being obsessional?

Wow, thank you all very much for your replies - they are are incrediblu useful! To answer them in turn - I went to management, during and after completion of the theoretical part of my training as I had received no support whatsoever from my RCN mentor - they did not even answer my weekly emails to ask about shadowing opportunities. Meanwhile - colleagues, were of course approaching me with issues, that I felt ill equipped and was of course, in reality, unable to deal with - I referred them to RCN direct, but felt frustrated as this is not why I agreed to be the rep for the team and put myself out there so to speak. Depression wise, - I have been struggling, much sickness since 2010 - I am alone in a very big organisation, the biggest in Europe, when there should be 3 of us, fully trained - there has not been, so I have made a nuisance of myself by going to management and highlighting this fact on, god more occasions than I can remember - nothing was ever done. My RCN rep was my mentor for the course - I never saw her before my investigatory meeting when she was incredibly late - no apologies though! She informs me that I am wrong to summise that as information was in the public domain I have done no wrong - in her opinion, I am very wrong and " will be lucky to get out of this without losing my job". I find this horrendous, as I was well aware, that staff on units were talking about it, colleagues were talking about it, and that the person who was dismissed, who I stayed in touch with, openly informed me that it had been discussed on facebook. The person who reported me to management, who I considered to be a good friend, (more fool me), works on the unit where I spent 13 years of my working life, and so knew all the people involved very well - that person has now been made acting team manager - so at least I know the reasons behind the so called betrayal!!! I am just very frustrated as, I did say what I did, but it was already known and being openly discussed, even on the internet - I felt this could not therefore be considered as a breach - I informed the investigating officer of this - who said it was not her concern - she was only concerned about the allegation against myself, and I had admitted to saying that I named the person who had been dismissed - which I did - BUT EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW! The day after the dismissal - a manager emailed the team to state that this person no longer worked for the team - I received several calls from colleagues asking me what had gone on, what did i know - etc - i refused to comment. My union advise at the DH is to focus on the fact i was off with depression and focus on that, plead guilty and rely on mitigating circumstances - i feel differently but the rep is not interested in my opinion. ( I have tried to get another, but the top person called me and told me there was no need). again, all advise/opinions gratefully received. thank you ellie xx

Hi there, I have received no replies to my post - which must be a first - is there anyone who can advise at all out there? I would be truly grateful for an outside opinion. Many thanks hopefully! ellieh

Hi there, new on here, but it seems so helpful, i thought i would try. Long story short, NHS worker, just finished theoretical training for union rep - no other experience to date regarding that role (in fact i have discussed with my manager on numerous occasions - they have in turn contacted the relevant union/mentors to ask about further support and experience - unanswered). Off sick with depression (after 2 years informing managers of current work situation, that remained unchanged during that time). Whilst off sick, I was told that as a result of me attending a recent DH, in an observational capacity for learning experience, I had breached confidentiality by disclosing information that was privy to me as a result of my attendance. Investigatory is over - I did state that i named person who had been dismissed. However - this was some 4-6 weeks after that hearing, it was being discussed openly by most of my work colleagues, by other staff in other work environments within the region - and also, had been openly discussed on a social networking site. I did not think, considering information was in the public domain, I had committed any breach - I am now awaiting DH date. My rep - (we do not get on - plus she was my mentor - i am assured there is no other rep to support me - i did ask)! - has stated that I am wrong and as a rep I should have said nothing and that it did not matter if it was broadcast on the news! surely this is ridiculous? Advice would be most hugely appreciated - whatever it is. thanks.

Hi all, cannot believe how busy this site is - seems many of us are in the same boat, which comforts me somewhat. i have been off sick since February with depression, medication etc - work related stress - since 2010 i have been going to management and it is documented in 1:1 meetings. nothing was ever done. i did not realise how ill i actually was, not only due to stress but also physically, thus the reason i have been off since February this year. I was referred to Occupational Health, during that telephone conversation - i was advised to write to my manager and HR and request a copy was kept in my personal file, reasons why i felt why i did. i did this - i was honest, but blunt - i did talk about management, unprofessionalism and gave examples of situations that had made me feel inadequate, highlighting the inequality within the team - a week later i was accused of breaching confidentiality so now have to face an investigatory meeting, plus managers are asking me to attend a sickness review meeting. i feel i am the product of a witch hunt for want of a better word, and have always felt that they do not want me there, why would they - as off sick - i am not productive. i would like to resign as i have no desire to return or in fact do this job any more - that is the only thing i am 100% clear on - but feel if i do, well then i look guilty. i am in the healthcare profession in the uK. Can anyone offer any advise at all? thank you in advance x