I hear you labrat My 13 year old is autistic... So much hard work but worth it. What area are you from? I hate filling out DLA forms for my son as it's not until you start on them that you realize how much extra help they need, we just do it! The best bit of advice anyone gave me is to pick my battles. I'm quite a strict mum and everything was a battle when my son was younger but I learnt to chill out a bit and things calmed down a lot. Don't get me wrong i'm still just as strict just in a different way. Concentrate on the important things. stick to one or two things at a time and once you have them nailed go on to the next. Good luck hun and keep up the good work

Anyone?

Thank you for all the advice. I will go write my letter now and will update when I get a response. Once again thank you

The bills being in your ex's name shouldn't make a difference. When ex and myself split the house, mortgage and all house hold bills were in his name only and I still had my single claim. The bills didn't go into my name until everything was sorted and I bought the house from him 3 years later. Hope you find out what they want soon and get it sorted.

When respite was first set up she sat there and told the worker that they had to be very pro-active in getting him out as he wouldn't want to go. 2 years later when she's trying to get him off the books we are cruel and emotionally abusive for trying to get him out and about! I just think she got caught out in a lie by saying we had not been in contact when we clearly had so she then came up with the "well he doesn't want to go anywhere anyway" to save face. But to say we are cruel for making him go out in front of son and to call us emotionally abusive in front all other people involved was down right wrong. At the last meeting at school sons doc suggested getting something set up for him again and social worker wasn't impressed. She will now have to put him through the whole assessment process again and quite frankly I don't want him anywhere near her! Maybe I can request another social worker to do it? A letter of complaint is defo on the way... Thanks for the advice and the offer of help. It's very much appreciated

Hi Thanks for the reply. I'm not sure where to start. Am I being over sensitive? Is she allowed do say these things?

2 years ago my son I got in contact with social care as I needs help with my son who has high functioning autism. (He doesn't really like to leave the house as he would much prefer to stay in his room). Our needs where assessed and we were given 3h pw respite care. After a short problematic settling in period (they sent some different every week and son refused to go) when he got a regular worker he went for a year with no problems. Then his carer went on sick leave and again we were back to a different person each week and son once again refused to go. We tried to sort this out with the company who provided the respite but could find no resolution as they would come say they understood why he wouldn't go but yet would continue to send different people each week. I called his social worker to see if there was anything else they could offer as the respite wasn't working any more. It took 27 phone calls and 4 months to get back to me. she said she would send me some info and get back to me in a couple of weeks to see where we could go from there. Another 5 months and 31 phone calls later she finally gets back to me again. she said she would be out the following month (November last year) to discuss what we can set up. In November a student social work arrived and spoke with us we told her what we would like and she went away saying she would see what was on offer and get back to us. At the beginning of January we received a letter from the social workers manager informing us that she had been speaking with the social worker and seen as there had been no contact from us for some time they had decided to take son off their books! I called and asked what she meant no contact, I had made dozens of calls that nobody returned and someone had only been out trying to arrange something for son 8 weeks previously. She called back the next day saying she would be out to see us the following week. At that appointment only the social worker turned up. She told us (in front of son) that as he had on occasion refused to go out there was nothing more they could do. I told her of course he will refuse to go out as he would much rather stay in his room with his xbox but he needs to get out and socialize if he has any chance of continuing it successfully as an adult. She said If he didn't want to go out then #i shouldn't make him and I was cruel for doing so. Well son loved this, especially the next morning when he informed me he didn't feel like going to school and he didn't have to go because the social worker had said so! Further to this the following week at a meeting in school. The social worker told us in front of everyone that we were emotionally abusive for making son go out! Doctor even laughed at this and pointed out that he kicks and screams every week when he goes to his fathers, screaming that he doesn't want to go but yet had told her it was the highlight of his week. I was absolutely mortified. And they have still taken him off their book! Is there anything I can do? Sorry this is a bit long winded

A little while ago my neighbor got a letter from the CSA informing her that she could claim on the accumulated back pay on a claim she made years ago. She called them and informed them that one of her children had died and the other was now 25 and was told she could still claim the money. My ex paid a total of £360 for our 2 children through out the whole of their childhood. When I put in a claim with the CSA he gave up his job and disappeared when the children were 4 and 6. He reappeared again 1 month after the youngest turned 18. I have an autistic child and work as many hours as possible but i'm only on a very low income. I'm also struggling to put my oldest (who is partially sighted so is finding it very difficult to find a job to help himself) through uni. Half the time I don't eat as I can't afford to and what little I do have obviously has to go to my children. After my neighbor told me about the letter. I contacted the CSA about my old claim. They told me yes there was back pay on the account but they had closed it in 2007 when my youngest with ex was 14 so I couldn't claim on it. I asked why they had closed the claim as i'd never asked them to and they said. they had closed it as they couldn't find my ex. Is there anything I can do? I have struggled like mad all these years to raise these boys on my own with zero help from their father and am continuing to do so. I did ask him if he could help out a bit with the oldest and uni and he just said he doesn't have to help at all as son is now an adult.

Haha ok Thank you so much everybody you have been most helpful and it's very much appreciated

Once again thank you very much everyone. Your help is very much appreciated

Can anyone point me in the direction of the statute barred template that has been mentioned please as I've looked high and low for it and I can't find it? Thank you

So just to get it clear in my own head as this is being commented on elsewhere also... Am I right in thinking that after 6 years the statute barred thingy comes into play and they are trying to use scare tactics to get us to phone as this would acknowledge the debt and start the process all over again?

Wow you certainly made that bit clear haha. Thank you for your help

Sorry but that statute barred... What does it mean by the last time the debt was acknowledged?

Thank you for your help

Do we need to ring them DX? Can I just add I got the dates wrong at the start this bill is from close to 7 years ago!

Sorry was on the phone getting the details... it looks like it's from closer to 7 years ago.

Hi It's from about 5/6 years ago and yeah it was set up direct with them

It's from about 5/6 years ago and yeah it was set up with t mobile.

So do we need to ring the number on the letter? I'm confused Sorry I've not had to deal with anything like this before

Ok thank you for your help

Further down it says... If a judgment or decree is obtained and remains unsatisfied a bailiff or sheriff officer may be instructed to recover assets to discharge the outstanding debt. Sorry if i'm getting this mixed up, I've never had to deal with anything like this before.

It says "THIS DEBT MUST BE PAID ON FULL TO THESE OFFICES WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS OTHERWISE WE WILL TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION"

Thank you for all the replies btw

Sorry to be a pain but what about the joint tax credit claim? Can they take money from that? Obviously its based on my income as he has none!