Your not sad at all and you both come across as very caring towards each other and stand by each other too, In a world that's full of selfish people and out for their own gain, what you both have is a gift of love and dedication for each other through thick and thin. I know times can be hard and reclaiming your trust in people can take a very long time, but tiny steps to begin with will set you on the right road. In your good lady you have an extremely good partner and someone who cares for you,listens and tries to help where she can, another way as we say in Scotland " A wee Diamond " . Getting over that first hurdle and dropping your guard slightly is always the hardest when your a proud and dignified person like yourself, but getting the help you require is first and foremost.

Please don't be offended by what i say, but i really don't think you should be concerned about what others are getting or have, your main priority is looking after yourself.. NO1 The old saying " A problem shared is a problem halfed " comes to mind, as said above there are a lot of good sources for help and good advice, bottling everything up isn't a good idea and you need to vent, I myself have a severe personality disorder and don't like discussing my problems with anyone as i'm quite a private person and don't want people around me or my neighbours thinking i'm the local nutjob but when in times of need or i need to vent and get away from people i grab my jacket and fags and just go for a walk. I also sense that your a proud man with a lot of dignity and protect yourself by putting barriers up in front of you, try letting those barriers down bit by bit by getting the proper help for you and your wifes sake. I wish you all the very best my friend and take care and regards to your good lady.

Can't help out with a nit comb as they all jumped ship when i went bald:) but i can support what you good people are trying to do here and a fine job your doing so far, i'm pretty glad i am among likeminded people with similar problems without being casted out as a sponger,for that i thank you all.

That's a very interesting read indeed, thanks for putting up the link.

The story of the woman who worked for the DWP who had the medical and was passed as unfit for work only later to have another medical by the same people and passed as able to work was laughable, the womans story who died from cancer was an absolute disgrace and those people should be pulled over some very hot coals regards the woman who worked for them. It absolutely stinks to high heaven that the company who are doing the medicals are trying to appease the DWP with their false stats, the numbers of genuine ill people who are being failed by this system is shocking. Has anyone found out yet why this was only aired in Scotland or is Scotland the only place in the United Kingdom with people on IB...I think it was an absolute disgrace putting that programme out in only one part of the country if this is the case and would love to know the reason why.

Hello all again it's been a while,just thought i would pop back and say thank you for all your kind help in regards this matter, had my appointment today at long last(extremely busy) gentleman that i seen has now sent a letter of appeal and faxed them a copy also and says to just wait to see if i hear from them fingers crossed. So thank you very much for all your kind help which was extremely grateful, anymore help i need or anyone else that i know who requires help i will point them in the direction of this fantastic website. Thank you:)

Thank you Mikey.

Bit of a downer today, went along for my appointment and person who was to see me has taken today off sick and might be off for a week, so girl is trying to arrange for me to see someone else and will call me on Thursday,suppose these things happen.

Thank you Mikey for the kind words:) My IB rate is £105.45 and this other thing that replaced my IS although it still says on the letter"total ammount of IS we will pay you is £39.20, total is £144.65 per week or roughly £288 per fortnight, the following fortnight i recieve my £288 + £240 which is my DLA for the month. I recieved the letter telling me my IS will change on 12 Sep 2009 and it basicly said " This means from 5th Aug 2009 you are not entitled, this is because you have more money than the law says you need to live on." it's after this i recieved the letter saying i could apply for SDA, which was filled in and sent away, couple of weeks later recieved a reply back saying i was awarded £39, but any letters recently still say the SDA i was awarded is IS, don't know if that helps or just confuses things anymore.

Thank you and will let you know how things go tomorrow, i will also print off the link you supplied me with.

Erica, could i possibly if it would be alright print some of you and Mikeys replys off to take with me to my money matters appointment i may also be making an appointment with CAB at my local office and feel both your replys are very helpful and may help whoever i see, i always like to ask first rather than just take.

They havent as far as i know Mikey stopped my care component, i was paid my fortnightly money recently which included both care & mob,my next payment is my normal IB and IS or SDA whatever it's called, just so confusing, i can't forsee my money being deducted as there's no change in circumstances nor had any letters. I was recieving £64 income support on top of my IB which they then said i was being paid more than they say i need to live on and stopped it, that's when they sent me a letter saying i could be entitled to this severe disability allowance which i filled in and they awarded me £38 which left me £26 out of pocket. I know it must be hard for you to help me because you dont have nothing infront of you, but i have a few old letters as well as recent ones with awards and figures on them along with dates if that helps. Thank you so far for the patience you both have shown to me:)

I am begining to understand what you are saying with regards to when the IS was combined with DLA however when the IS sent me a letter in September cutting my money after reapplying I have had someone tally up the shortfall over the 20 mths and it still doesn't add up. Why can't the DWP simplify letters and give a simplified explanation in the first instance? Can someone please advise where I go next ie.. do I call the number on the letter and what do I say to them as I really have no clue?? Your help is much appreciated Thanks

I'm still unsure as if you say they think they have paid me twice, do you mean when for example my dla is due at the end of the month, they think they have paid me double what i'm supposed to recieve ? Have never recieved any letter nor informed them of any change in circumstances as there isn't any to report, a few weeks ago they sent me a letter saying i had more money than the goverment say you need to live on and stopped my income support, then sent me a letter saying i could apply for severe disability premium which i did,then recieved a letter few weeks later saying i was awarded £38, i really don't understand that when they were paying me the income support for a number of years for the sum of £64, Ps. Erica i'm a man not a she:) really grateful for this help.

Thank you Erika, that kind of makes me feel less uneasy reading that and the letter does say" obliged to ask you to pay it back" thing i don't understand is the wording can seem quite complicated, the thing that's kind of throwing me is " The reason for overpayment is-the reciept of more than one payment for the same period " i can't make head nor tail of that or am i right in thinking they are saying part of my dla shouldn't have been paid even though for the last few years my circumstances haven't changed and have always had it since i was first awarded it a number of years ago, sorry to be a pain.

Hello Mikey,i get middle rate care component which is £47.10 and £18.65 mobility, i get my dla paid monthly and would have noticed if there was a larger ammount which there hasn't been, i have been getting this for roughly 8/9yrs now. I was awarded indefinate payment last year, the period of overpayment is from 31/10/2007 to 30/6/2009, my oldest son done some maths last night and says the only money that adds up to that ammount would be my middle rate care component which would be £168 per month x20 but i recieved my normal money last week along with my dla, so surely if it was that, i wouldn't still be recieving it. I have never recieved anything saying they are stopping my middle rate and there would be no need to as my circumstances haven't changed or likely too, only a couple of months ago i had to contact the DHS to get a confirmation letter to take to my local housing office to prove my income and what i recieved, the letter stated on it that i recieved both my mobility and care component along with my IB and my IS. I am even more worried now that they have stopped my middle rate without telling me, but don't understand as i have been recieving it for a number of years with no change of circumstances, i don't like to burden people with my problems but just feel that i'm in the right place for some proper advise.

Hi merlin and thanks for the quick reply, the fact is that if i have been overpaid and owe them money i will except that, i don't want to sound like i'm trying to avoid paying by sounding angry about the time it has taken them and if overpaid then it would be my duty to repay it if i wasn't entitled to it. My daughter has tried doing the maths, has worked out i'm getting care middle rate and mobility low rate since i was awarded it a few years ago, it is also an indefinate award which i was awarded last year. What my daughter is concerned about is my income support award, i was getting £64pw for this and in the last couple of months i recieved a letter saying a wasn't entitled to it and recieved another letter(sorry can't remember what it's called) a couple of weeks later to apply for something similar, was then awarded it and seems my income support has decreased to £38pw. My daughter seems to think the difference from £64 to £38 which is £26, if added up from the time they say i'm being overpaid comes to roughly what they say i owe them. I'm sorry if i'm confusing things here but just trying to go down any route we can try and figure this out. PS my user name isn't an indication of how i feel, but my favourite sweet.

Hello all i'm kind of new here and have a problem with an overpayment request letter i recieved this morning. It's from the DWP debt management contact centre Nuneaton and says that i have an overpayment of Disability Living Allowance- care/mob for the sum of just under £4000,period of overpayment from 2007-2009. It also says the reason for overpayment is- the reciept of more than one payment for the same period, also says " This was our mistake and we are sorry it has happened,however you have been paid public money that you were not entitled to and so we are therefore obliged to ask that you pay it back, we realise that this may come as an unwelcome surprise and you may not be in a position to repay in full at this time". How on earth does it take them 2yrs to realise this and let any money i'm being overpaid mount to this worrying ammount ? I am in reciept of DLA/ib/is at present and being told this has came as quite a shock to me, i can't also remember what happened two days ago never mind 2yrs ago and extremely worried sick about this, if i have been overpaid i am more than willing to repay pay it at a set ammount, but what angers me is the ammount of time it took them to realise this and i am not the one who made the error, but making me feel like i have done something wrong when i haven't. I have contacted my local money matters and have an appointment for hopefully Monday, i havent contacted the dept management place on the letter as i'm afraid they might hit me with alsorts of figures and dates which i wont understand, taking things in isn't one of my finer points and struggle with just coping with life which i find hard as it is, the mere fact that for the last few months i find it hard to walk over a bridge and have some not so nice thoughts and feel this will send me over the edge. Any advise or pointers would be of great help