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  1. For anybody that has read the GREY books here's a poem that will make you smile. Me missus bought a paperback Down town on Saturday, I had a peep into her bag; 'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey." Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. Her left hand held a length of rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down onto the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago I might have had a peek; But Doris hasn’t weathered well; She’s eighty four next week. Watching Doris bump and grind Could not have been much grimmer. Things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled up upon her feet A cuppla minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said That I must dominate her!! Now if you knew our Doris, You would see just why I spluttered, I’d spent two months in traction For the last complaint I’d uttered. She stood there nude, just naked like, Bent forward just a bit …. I took a pace to brace meself And stood on her left t*t! Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out; My god what had I done? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: “Step on the other one!” Well readers, I won't tell no more What happened on that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair Turned “fifty shades of grey”
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