Yes she is I think but I honestly don't know I have been told so little

It's 442am I can't sleep been a hard evening I know u guys don't know me or my wife but the email I sent to her and her support worker had my first post in it along with more but I didn't mention unfortunately because of this she could find this thread and start a slanging match I'm sorry if this happens as I did not think or expect that but cut a long story short she left me because she cudnt cope she came home today at lunch time my son phoned earlier to ask when he was told a time but was asked if dad could go out I didn't I went in kitchen made kids lunch did washing ect we spoke a few times she looked great so relaxed but not with me which was fine I love her to bits but it was hard to me so I was in kitchen thinking about some of the close moments we had over the past few weeks since we were home even the kids had seen there mum laying close to dad as he played with her hair but today was different I had betrayed her because I had emailed someone who was trying to help her u have seen what it says am I wrong ??? Anyway my wife is not bi polar she is severly depressed she told me today ok I got it wrong i only said maybe I have a job interview on weds morn great hours for school so I have arranged cover with a friend I have known for 20 years as I am caring for the children it's will prob be an hour interview first thing in morn kids hopefully still asleep My wife asks me about weds as I normally go shopping I said ok sure come up but I got n interview and friend will be here she took it bad as it should have been her She's not talking with me what should I have done I had it covered I'm sorry but it's hard on me explaining to the kids picking up the pieces but I manage but what about me I'm coping

Well Sunday morning still not heard anything not even a phone call or message last night so sitting here waiting/hoping is hard Hate mornings just now as head thinks so much it upsets me had a shower n shave so I'm looking good for her car tax went out end of march so can't really go far don't know when I can pay that hopefully soon as 2 weeks holidays now and need to keep kids busy Will write more later

Wow well done I'm so chuffed for you. I'm sitting with a coffee n 5 year old daughter falling asleep on my lap she's been so clingy the last few days mums coming here tmrow to see the kids or so my eldest boy told me don't know when not heard from her today my youngest Son won't talk to her when we phone the same as my wife with me so last she told me was Sunday Had couple of mates over last few nights which has been good for me and to talk openly as they have known me longer than my relationship was hard for them at times to see me getting upset even saying how calm the house was have another old friend comin up on tues to stay for a few days it's the thought of losing them I live in Scotland the laws are different got a solicitors meeting next week to find out where I stand it's so hard as I love her to bits and want her back so much. I've spoken to my mum and my family more in the last few days than in 2 years as i dont feel guilty because she is not here sounds crazy but it's true gonna make another coffee as I'm getting a bit sad yeah ozzy would be good to chat whenever

Had a couple of mates over earlier was good to talk as we have all known each other longer than being in this relationship not bitching about anything but just being straight up with me mates as it's difficult position for them to but was good to get alot of things off our chests And thanks again Caro aka. Marjorie Proops i dont know how i would coped without this Been good to talk to soneone who dosent know us I have spoken with my youngest (day off school tomorrow so I let him xbox a bit later) told him I not going anywhere he is confused so am I Late again gonna write some more to my wife n then better get some sleepc

It's hard to stop blaming myself for episodes in the past but I have told her I will always be here I can't help loving her been nearly 3 months now since I triggered it by saying something wrong but I still cry for her even doing this I get emotional I sleep with her pillow sounds sad but I'm 42 and miss being a couple She has also alienated my family and many of hers even to the extent of banning my mum (kids granny) from seeing them for over two years Facebook keeps them connected but it's not the same as visits I feel guilty if I text my mum or my brother or sister as it often causes issues she thinks they all hate her but they don't Early last year her brother visited we had a party few friends over but they argued and he left on bad terms and they never spoke I tried to get her to text him over the next few months but she wouldn't kept telling me to butt out but then unfortunately in October he died suddenly unexpected and still as I am aware cause of death unknown this event destroyed her and she has rarely come back to herself since then I lost my brother to cancer 3 years ago so I understand but I got to say goodbye to him with my family around him as he passed away she hates me for that as I got the chance to say goodbye After doing more research I see it maybe hereditry and my 10 year old son has had some outbursts alot recently even involving him running out of school and thinking more about this and his behaviour at times over the years I can see some of her in him it's gonna a tough few months ahead I can see thx for the support it's helping me more than you know

Thankyou I have always thought there was along with our friends and family as they have also seen the changes but the last few years she has lost family that were close to her and she has rapidly got worse last weekend when she was home she told me after seeing a support worker for a couple of hoursv(not a doctor ) that they thought she was bi polar so later that night i ran her a bath and went and did some research I read alot of posts from bi polar sufferers and people living with bi polar partners / spouses I thought yeah maybe she has as I have seen the changes felt the hurt/heartache/anger come and go anything could set it off but then always come round and felt the love and warmth I then told her this and said maybe you should read some too and I will support and love in anyway which triggered sonething ascshe replied with "what are you some kind of doctor now what would you know you don't love me it's habit " my reply was no just someone who has spent 18years with you not a couple of hours I wish I had known this many years ago as I am sure I wouldn't be posting this today

Thx for the reply just sat down for lunch with my 2 older boys there off school just now won't be going bk til after the Easter holidays younger 2 at school keeping the routine as good and regular as I can for them as for tax credits yes I phoned this morning and that has been sorted I even have c.a.b. To help and filled out the paperwork and just waiting for an appointment I so hope she can sort herself out I am so worried about her writing helps as I have been writing emails to her everyday with my thoughts and feelings and the kids but have only sent one the others I will show her when she asks as she is very fragile just now and coping with her own demons I don't want to trigger anything off with my thoughts

I wrote this last night but never posted just about to do the school run so here it is *what I have just read has lifted me so much my wife walked out on me and our 4 children 2weeks ago came bk the weekend but away again this week and has moved into b&b and has a support worker *we have been married 13 years together 18 but my story is different she hasnt met anyone else although she did on Facebook (in jan) n he was phoning my house a few times while I was working but that is no more and i dont care* she has servere mental health problems i have always known that only now she is facing it herself*we have often fell out over the years (she hates me wants a divorce anything could set it off) but have always got back together and happy in love this time round (29/12)came as a total shock as i thought ok few weeks she will calm down I love her to bits and want her home so much but she just couldn't cope and left I am at home with the kids it's now 2.44 am and I am still awake and so confused and concerned about our childrens future we have a mortgage so after googling and coming across this I feel so positive I have already gone part time at work doing only school hours and no weekends so big loss in pay my boss has been great and supportive Easter holidays soon so I won't get paid for them but should make enough this month to cover the essentials I have a solicitor phoning tmrow so I should know a bit more about where I stand *I have informed both schools because as you know it's hard for them too and confusing for them and often seeing there dad in tears when he's washing up or doing the uniforms for the next day so many memories every where I look sometimes i cant help myself but the thought of them keeps me strong *I am letting her see the children when she wants only a sunday for a few hours this week but its her choice and i will support it i let the children phone her every night but i deal with the afterwards and questions hugs always help *how are things for you now as i am so scared of changing things now for the good of the children only to try and have it ripped away in months to come if she ever gets any better I hope she does and things get back to how they are anyway dude its late now n i gonna go to bed it a school night n my mates are saying i look a bit pale need to keep my health good for the kids*