Here is the latest on my Hermes fiasco. This morning my doorbell rang at around 10:15. On answering it I found that it was the Royal Mail postman and that there was a Hermes card in my letterbox. After receiving my post I examined Hermes' card and found that it had my surname and "Hairdressers" scrawled on it, so I went into the hairdressers' shop that shares the same address as mine and collected my parcel, finding that it bore a Geopost label, presumably affixed by the seller's staff, and that it also bore a large print label reading "PACKAGES MUST BE SIGNED FOR AND NEVER LEFT SAFE". I checked with the hairdresser and he confirmed that he had, indeed, signed for it. ( I had expected that the signatory should have been the addressee.) On checking the Hermes tracking log I found that it had been registered as signed for at 09:41 with the note "Signature from Household". The shop is not part of, nor the shopkeeper a member of, my household. I was within earshot of my doorbell until it rang at 10:15 and summoned me downstairs. The fact that my local Royal Mail postman had the wit to ring my bell throws into question the standards of intelligence that Hermes set when recruiting their couriers.

I ordered an item off eBay and waited patiently to receive it. Yesterday a Hermes failed delivery card was found on the front doormat with my surname and "Thurs" scrawled across it. Nobody had rung my doorbell. I contacted the seller and confirmed that they were using Hermes and they gave me a tracking number. Hermes tracking service log revealed that this had been the second failed attempt, the first apparently on the previous day. There was no failed delivery card nor did anybody ring my doorbell on that day. I reported these events to Hermes who advised me to contact the seller to discuss the issue with them (which I did) and that the seller should raise the issue with Hermes as they were unable, for contractual reasons, to discuss the issue with me. Now, today (Thursday) I find another card on my mat claiming that this was the second attempt. My doorbell did not ring and the Hermes log no longer shows the original phantom attempted delivery. The seller has been most helpful in providing details of my experience to Hermes and I am currently waiting to see if a third delivery will be attempted tomorrow (Friday). My online research reveals that this company, in its present and previous incarnations, uses "self-employed" deliverers who are paid a pittance per item that is successfully delivered. I had previously suspected that they were paid on a per-call basis and that they were boosting their pay with fake failed deliveries. My current suspicion is that their deliverers are being required to deliver more parcels than their vehicle's capacity and/or that parking problems are a major nightmare for them and that our local courier does not have the wit to find a doorbell. My advice to users of eBay and other online services is to avoid using the default "Other Courier" option for delivery and pay the little extra for the more reliable Royal Mail option (unless, of course, you don't mind being frustrated by such issues).