thepoppet, sorry if I hurt you with my words, I didn't mean that at all. As I posted in my message, I didn't know the full details of your circumstances and described 2 possible situation - if he pays according to CSA recommendations or not. After you clarified it in your second post, obviously you should just skip everything I wrote after phrase "First of all check the sum recommended by CSA calculator - if your ex pays less then you can require more." It was about situation if he pays 25% of his income according to CSA recommendations and you think it's not enough. You already clarified that he pays less than he must. You CAN require more. Talk to him, explaining your situation on figures, I'm sure that with your approach you will find decision which will be appropriate to both of you. And he will be glad to help his children without CSA involvement.

First of all check the sum recommended by CSA calculator - if your ex pays less then you can require more. If he pays what recommended by CSA I suggest you to look at this situation from different side: Your ex pays 25% of income as maintenance and as you said he has mortgage - not much remains for living, isn't it? That fact that he pays the same sum for 5 years can mean just that his salary wasn't increased during this period - this happens, especially during recession. I agree that £25 per child per week is not enough - but this is ONLY sum which your EX pays for children. Also you have at least Child benefit appr. £20 per child per week (don't know your situation, but most probably you receive other benefits as single mum). These are only money which you receive from OTHERS to support your children, but YOU, as parent, are also responsible for your children and should contribute. £25x2+£20=£70 per child per week (or £840 per month all 3 children) - it's ok. Don't want to be rude, but your ex-husband mustn't pay more just because you have chosen not to work. You can ASK him if he CAN help, but he mustn't. I believe you'll make fair decision, good luck!

Hi everyone! I'll be grateful for any assistance in following question: My husband has 50/50 access to their 2 children with his ex-partner. When children live with us we provide them with everything - accommodation, meal, clothes, toys, holidays, entertainment etc. But their mother receives Child Benefit for both of them and also wants my husband to pay her child maintenance or she will stop access. Is it fair? Who can share experience of solving such situation? I've checked calculator on CSA site and they say that if non-resident parent has children "175 nights and more" he still need to pay. BUT: "..there are a number of other circumstances which are not covered by the calculator. These include: - cases where maintenance will be shared between two or more parents with care - variations for exceptional circumstances" (one of which is "paying back a debt that you took on before you separated from the parent with care, and the debt was for the benefit of the family or a member of the family. Please note that this does not include credit card or store card debts"). What means "two parents with care"? Can my husband be called "parent with care" if he has 50/50 access? If yes, how to get this status officially? Does anybody have experience of reducing child maintenance due to paying loans for ex-family purposes (not mortgage)? Thanks for any help.