OK, I've had a first go.  I haven't touched your version at all but suggest a tweaked version below. 1.  Gone is your CHANGE OF CIRCUMSTANCE section which I don't think has anything to do with establishing whether you owe the money or not. 2.  I've slimmed down the DOUBLE RECOVERY section but also underlined other fictitious charges they have made up. 3.  The bits in the BPA CoP are here  https://www.britishparking.co.uk/write/Documents/AOS/AOS_Code_of_Practice_January_20
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