adhd/autism

[honey5]

oh dear what a time youre having, the twins both went to mainstream first school, although the youngest of the two has adhd/ocd/autism and all of the trimmings that go hand in hand

Autistic children in mainstream school are expected to conform as are their peers. My son is also dyslexic, so in maintstream he didnt really learn much of anything apart from how hes was expected to act in a social setting, so in a way i was pleased his first school was mainstream as his manners were impeccable (still not without problems by along chalk) Social interaction with his peers was something that was worked hard upon as he "stuck" to adults, as they dont ridicule.

The boundaries at home were set the same for him as they were the other two, swearing and it was too his room, hurting people - same punishment, yes he would scream for hours kick doors punch windows whilst up there but he couldnt come down until he had calmed down At some point (and now im not sure where) it started to fall into place

Then came the time to think about middle school i asked for a meeting in school, had his paediatrician there, the prof he sees at CAAMHU, our own gp, educational psychologist, a school govenor etc...... We had a place for him in maintstream middle school but......... and it was a big BUT, i knew it wasnt the right thing, socially he was acceptable, educationally he was falling futher and futher behind so i enquired about special needs facilities and they nearly all fell off their chairs, apparently this had been discussed before i arrived and no one wanted to broach the subject with me (am i that bad?????????)

An appointment was made the week before the easter holidays and i took him upto the school to have alook around . He loved it, it was so calm (i know you wouldnt believe it) the classes were of 8 children one teacher and 4 support teachers. So as we still had time to take the offer of mainstream middle school we took the chance to see how he settled and he started the week after the easter holidays (yes that soon!!!)

Hes never looked back, he loves it, he went on holiday to London with the school last year for a week (i had no carpet left by the time he came home id worn it away lol)

Last september he moved onto his middle come high come collage, theyre there until they are 25

Hes a changed boy, hes so happy, hes not competeing with the others, works at his own pace, isnt ridiculed if he cant achieve the set task and helps children to get about that are less fortunate than himself.

His twin sister went onto mainstream middle school and isnt happy she doesnt do all of the fun things her brother does and often asks if she can go there too

The only real stroppy times we have now are when the schools are shut for holidays as he wants to be there everyday, and no they dont exclude the children for whatever behaviour

wishing you the very best

honey x

[lindsay22]

hiya all, had the annual reveiw yesterday and the lady who comes in from behaviour support had never even seen his statement lol everybody agreed that his statement needs to be changed to they are putting in a request for that to happen.

we also talked about the possibility of changing his school, according the the behaviour woman it can really help in some cases and not in others? she could not advise me and told me it was my decision to make. so need to do some thinking over the weekend.

[honey5]

you have a short time to make that decision, i certainly dont envy you i struggled with myself for months. You know sometimes they will allow children to take a year/6 month out of mainstream to see if issues can be addressed in "special needs sectors" then reinterrgrated,so that maybe a possibility too, forget the stigma attached to special needs schools, it really doesnt exist these days all i can say is that it was certainly a positive outcome for our son

honey x

[maybelline]

good luck lindsay, sounds like things are moving forward:)

[groovycaz]

Hi Lindsay, just ben catching up with these threads as havent posted for a while, death in family after illness, Im so angry with what ive been reading on your thread, you really have been having an awful time lately, my cousin is going throuh a similar situation as yours with her little boy whos 4 years old, he has severe behaviour problems and has mild Autism, the school have taken the dividing wall down between 2 classrooms so there are about 60 children together and her son is not coping well at all,

 

Im still waiting the outome of Sams assesment so dont know whether they will continue to statement yet, we should be hearing soon but learned not to build my hopes up, got word back from DLA and they reduced his care award from high to middle rate but will keep a diary of the next 2 weeks nightly routine and send that in and ask it to be loked at again..

Best of luck..Gc

[mariejader]

Hi Lindsay have a look at this site you may find some information on there that will help you

 

Education and training : Directgov - Disabled people

 

Keep fighting the system, I know it's hard but you and your child have rights so hang in there.

[lindsay22]

hi all, well feeling a little better at the moment. my boy was excluded agin last thursday for 5 days, his sna went home ill and nobody bothered to tell him, so went mad.

took him to chams last monday as he has started to self harm again, and threatening to kill himself, the docter and chams was very shocked at what i told him about teachers and dinner ladys dragging him round and screaming in his face. he spoke to my boy also on his own. the docter said he would speak to school as he thinks my boy is suffering from severe stress brought on by the school.

i rang ipsea today, and they have been brilliant, they advised me to take him out of school on medical grounds and find another school and ask for an emergancy placement. i have a school in mind its a smaller school with less kids, my friend whos son goes there has special needs and from what she says they have been brilliant.

[maybelline]

there are alot of positives in your post lindsayy22, well done, are you keeping a diary of your sons behaviour, his behaviour at home and when not at school, I imagine he will be fine at home and the suicide remarks will stop - IMO the younger kids are stating this as the extreme end of possibility, it comes under the all or nothing type or logic going on in their head, not the same as depressive behaviour leading to suicide attempts, I am not saying it is not to be taken seriously, yes, it is serious but the kind of intervention has to be appropriate, this is the key to everything, very best wishes:)

[lindsay22]

yes i am still keeping a diary, he does seem like a differant boy when at home. as soon as half term is over i will start the ball rolling, ipsea have been ace, i was struggling to come to a decission about whether to take him out off school, but they have helped me come to the right one. i feel like a weight has been lifted.

[lindsay22]

hiya all not been on for a while, anyway my boy did great in his sats second from the top yipee but hes got new headteacher who has taken an instant dislike to him, he immediatly permamently excluded two other kids with adhd, and was gunning for my boy.

my boy has been bullied by another child for 2 years i have been into school on several occasions complaining about thos, school says its not happening??? so my son last his temper and threatened him with a rounders bat and was very upset when the staff tried to calm him down and told one to p**s off, he never touched anyone, so the head excluded him for 5 days and said he was thinkin of making it permament, then i got another letter sayin they had given him another 5 days on top of the first five days?? is this allowed seems very odd.

[mariejader]

lindsay I am doing some exclusion training tomorrow I will hopefully have more of an idea of what's legal tomorrow, have they given you a reason why he has received another 5 day exclusion?

 

Also what happened about moving school's?

[Bookworm]

If you can get the other parents of the other 2 excluded kids on board, fire off a letter of complaint to the head, board of governors and the LA (no point in beating about the bush) about discrimination under the DDA, if he's excluding the ADHD kids from school whilst turning a blind eye to them being bullied, it doesn't come much more clear-cut.

 

Let him know straight away you won't stand for any of it, you'll be making life easier for yourself and your child in the long run.

[lindsay22]

they just gave the same reason as the first exclusion, i cannot believe they have done this. i will write a letter tomorrow and send it to the governers the head and the education. will keep you all posted.

[mariejader]

Have you received anything in writing confirming the exclusion? and if so what reason did they put on the letter

[lindsay22]

they put exactly the same as the first five day exclusion, that he swore at staff member threatened another child and kicked the bushes outside school??? absolute idiots they are trying to add as many days on as possible so that it gets to 45 days.

[lindsay22]

hiya all, well got the phone call yesterday from the deputy head to say my boy had been permamently excluded ended up giving her a mouth full i was so angry, the education have rang me today and told me where they had places available in other schools so i shall be lookin round a few of them.

[lindsay22]

hiya all well my boy still not in school the education say they are struggling to find him a school, there have tried to push me into sending him to a really rubbish school miles away which i refused. they have had a meeting about him going to a special school for the next 12 months as he will be year 6 in september but they have decided he does not fit the criteria, so back to them trying to get him into a mainstream school.

i have a meeting on thursday with the governers and the head about whether his exclusion was justified they were supposed to send me a copy of his records they have only provided me with the last 2 years, there was also a letter to chams i had not seen before sayin they did not restrain my boy, what a bunch of liars one teacher had him by the throat i went in and threatened to call the police. they are all sticking together and denying my boy was being bullied.

[canbrilla]

Hi lindsay,

 

My son has adhd but not autism. He is now 36 years old and was only diagnosed with adhd about 3 years ago. All his life he had been labelled 'bad'. He got into trouble all the time. He was very bright and did reasonably well at school and could have done a lot better if he hadn't been excluded all the time.

 

He read somewhere about adhd and some of the symptoms were identical to his, so insisted his doctor referred him to one of the hospitals which treat adult adhd. We had to go to Maudsley Hospital in London for the diagnosis as there's only that hospital and one other in Cambridge, I think, that deal with adult adhd. The medication he was put on made him feel suicidal so he came off it and is not taking medication at all. However, just knowing that there's something medically wrong with him has made him feel much better, he knew that he wasn't just 'bad' and that it was an imbalance in his brain.

 

Even though he'll never be cured at least he can now deal with it.

 

People just don't understand the condition and what's worse is that they don't really want to!!

 

Best of luck to you and your son, I hope everything works out okay for you.

 

canbrilla

[maybelline]

thanks for your post canbrilla - understanding is all:)

[Guest borderman]

my son who is 9 years old has adhd and mild autism, he is in mainstream school and has a statement of special needs. hes gets 20 hours a week one 2 one support.

however the has been excluded well over 50 times (1-5 day exclusions) for various things.

the school have also took away the quiet room where he usually goes to have time out. so he has to go and sit in the heads office which i think is totally unfair.

they also tried to stop him going on his christmas panto last year, unless i took time off work to go with him. i went mad and refused as its discrimination and his statement should cover trips out.

also the local paper ran a story on kids with autism and asked for my comments, the school were furious and wrote me a nasty letter saying i had upset all the staff.

its so hard him being in mainstream and theres no chance of him going to a special school as the education say hes not bad enough. i am absolutly dreading him going back to school.

 

edited

 

see an education law solicitor that specialise if your in the UK if your get low income benefits like income support housing benefits you will get full help with the legal help and these costs free they cover the child ,what the school are doing is breaking the law.you can refuse to pick your child up .get notes every time you pick the child up from school if they refuse to do this don't pick the child up. your child is struggling in school and needs more support or a very small class size of about 4 to 8 ,this is causing a lot of anxiety's for him ,if your not on these benefits look for a free services like IPSEA/SNAP. these are very useful.we been through everything your experiencing and having taken the steps to seek legal help its a fantastic feeling to be put back in control of the rights your child deserves you are being denied .its only now we are able to fight back . sinclairslaw are the ones that will help you , this is only information and UK only .

 

note if your working unfortunately you won't get legal aid.

Edited September 29, 2008 by jonni2bad

[freakyleaky]

Bookie & Kez. Your posts have been moved to here now. (ADHD. Advice please.)

[pompeyjeff]

Your story almosrt mirrors exactly ours. My son was in mainstream school and had the same problems, ironically he was in a school that had achieved 'Beacon Status' as a centre of learning for 'Special Needs'. In the end, and it was tough, we had to take him out of the state school system and get him into a private school. It wasnt until then that he was diagnosed with ADHD. Smaller classes, the understanding of really good teaching staff, and a slow release ritalin substitute did the job. He is just taking hiss GCSE's and has been predicted to acheve A's and B's. He is a Prefect, he has also been accepted for training for the Merchant Navy as an Office Cadet. The finanacial cost has been massive, especially having been made redundant and being declared bankrupt. I had great support from the Official Receiver who allowed him to stay at the school and for me to continue to pay the fees. It was the best thing we ever did. If you are in a position financially it is someting I would seriously advise you to consider.

[tiglet]

If there isn't a school available in the mainstream setting, but there is one privately, you are entitled to ask for the LEA to pay for provision at that school and take them to tribunal if they refuse. It is very much dependent on individual circumstances.