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Help for My Sister Please?


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I have a sister who's a bit of a nightmare where money is concerened and I'm really worried for her! because I can see her ending up in prison!


Dont get me wrong I love her to bits and my mum and I are both equally worried


She's a bit on the slow side and dos'nt really understand the seriousness of her actions She has'nt got a bad word to say about anyone and she's the sweetest person you could ever meet!


She's committed benefit fraud twice:eek: And she still dos'nt see the seriuosness of this She has been paying it back she owes them in the region of £5,500 But for the last few months she has'nt paid them anything untill I came along and tried to help her I set her a direct debit up to pay it but they still are'nt getting it because its getting returned to the bank has she dos'nt leave enough money in her account to cover it so then she gets charged!


I've been trying my best to help her sent several Cca requests off to several debt companies! and Several S.A.R - (Subject Access Request)'s also to claim her charges back! Lent her money which she's never even repaid me back from January! Plus I paid for all the Sar's And Cca's also But she just dos'nt listen to a word either I say about her finances or my mum says either! :eek: and dos'nt relise how serious all this is, She's had 2 companies take her to court allready one was for an old catologue debt That I asked to see the CCA and DOA which they just cancelled so that was a result, but the other I could'nt help her with at all has it was for council tax, The only thing I could say to her was pay it! but she still dos'nt seem to understand that she has to pay all these things!


the worst thing is that both her and her partner are both working and got heck of a lot more money than I have Has I'm only on benefits, Has I cant work because of ill health So its not even as tho she cant afford to pay anything because she can!


because she dos'nt seem to understand or seem to care about paying anything and dos'nt listen to a word either of us say, and she just thinks were having a go at her when really all were trying to do is help her,:( both My Mum and myself wonder if anyone can suggest any outside company that can help her with her financial situation? this would have to be someone who would approach her because I know she would not approach or ask for help herself!


I have thought about getting her a social worker involved has she has 3 kids also but only 2 live at home! the eldest who is now 18 has moved out! What would happen to her kids if she did get sent to prison?


Please any help would be grateful My Mum and myself are at the end of our tethers with her really! Altho I'm trying to help her I've got to the stage where I just want to give up because she cant even help herself!:( But We are just so worried that if she commits benefit fraud again she will go to prison! :(


many thanks all :)

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You have done so much to help her already, she really doesnt realise what a fantasic mother and sister she has!


It is clearly affecting you and your mum and it shouldnt be like that, i know you want to help her but she has got to want to get out of debt and the only person that can do that is her.


What does her partner think of her actions?


I'm trying to think how i would feel if it was my sister, if she had continuously commited benefit fraud and wasn't taking any notice of the people around her trying to help then i would have to say maybe a short spell in prison might make her realise what she is doing.....oh god i sound awfull.


Sometimes is takes more than threats to make people sit up and take notice.

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I have to say ( as someone who works as a debt adviser for a charity ) that in nearly all cases we cannot help someone unless they want the help themselves. I honestly don't know of any agencies who will approach someone even if asked by family.


Lots of people struggle to get debt advice anyway so most agencies are stretched enough helping people who do want to listen to the advice...


I'm not having a pop at you by the way I think you have been fantastic to your sister and have really gone above & beyond what most people would expect. I do agree with Yaffsimone's comments as well.

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Guest strangewayofsavin

I agree with the above, unfortunatly, she is not going to listen until she realises there is a problem, I think you will have to be cruel to be kind, and be ready to catch her with both hands if she falls.

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many thanks for all your replies!:)


Has for her partner I dont really know him that well they hav'nt been together that long and the immpression I get is that he's just has bad as she is really!:eek:


but many thanks again for all the replies:)

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