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Got into debt again, yes I'm an idiot, can't have anything coming back to upset my aged parents. i live abroad.

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Hi, not used to forums so if I've posted this in wrong area please move.

I'm about £28k debt right now.

All my fault. No irresponible lending, I knew what I was doing when I took out the 4 credit cards and 2 unsecured loans.

I do have mental health issues, documented with my GP since 2018, but all my debt was accrued after that, mostly due/though pandemic, 2020+

I can no longer afford the repayments and have just been a consolidation loan due to credit rating.

My issue is I'm 52yrs old and currently live at my parents in London.

I work full time, min wage. All my debts are unsecured but registered at their house due to me being on the electoral register there.

They are in their 80's. It would literally kill them to have debt letters, debt collectors arriving at the house. They come from that old school post war generation where if you can't afford something, you save up for it or don't have it!

I have the opportunity to move to France to live with my younger sister. It will transform my life, my mental health, my whole world. However, I can't just walk away from this UK debt and leave my incredible parents with the fallout.

However, if I write to all my creditors and give them my new address in France, then simply stop paying - from what I've read here they'll default me, my credit rating will be screwed for 6 years, then all cancelled? 
I know it's never good to run away from debt. 

All debts are enforceable, no need for SAR or CCA request.

Am I better to apply for a DRO from France once there, or simply make sure all my creditors have my new French address, so they can't do a backdoor CCJ to my parent's address, because it will honestly kill them and ruin my relationship with them for the few years of life they have left.

All constructive, non-judgmental advice welcomed. 

edit to add as it won't let me edit in post - I meant to say I have just been DECLINED a debt consolidation loan due to credit rating.

If it wasn't for my parents I'd just run away and never return to be honest. 

I can't do this whilst they live at this address. I love them. They would be so crushed and disappointed. 

I know it's only money, but people are the way they are. 

Please help with advice if you are able.


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Thanks for quick reply, HB.
I'm lucky enough to have an Irish passport due to my father as well as a UK passport having been born in here. So I retain my Shengen rights apparently for FOM.

All of that is by the by - whether I moved to France or moved to Ecuador and hid, taking my chances, my 100% concern is how to have anything ever coming back to my parents who have been kind enough to let me live here again for these past 10 years after my life went wrong.

I can't pay them back for their kindness by telling them, I've run up nearly 30k debt and am now off. Thank you and goodnight, style.

But I fear this is what I may need to do next month.

How can I inform my creditors I'm willing to pay over time, or even just walk away if they get nasty? But NOTHING must ever come back to my folks house?

Sorry cross posted.

Debts at the moment - nothing defaulted or unpaid so far. Next payments all due end of Jan.

TSB Loan 1: £7.9k d
TSB Loan 2: £6.7k d
TSB Credit Card: £-4,392 d (with £1,108 available credit)
TSB Overdraft: £-2.543 d (with £2,467 available credit)
Barclaycard Visa: £-3,392 d (with £3,607 available credit)
Halifax Credit Card: £-3,796 d (with £704 available credit)
Lloyds Credit Card: £1,497 d (with £203 available credit)

All taken out since beginning of 2018. My salary is around £18,000pa. Hasn't changed much since 2018, maybe a few hundred.

Edit to add:

Original 1st loan with TSB was 13k.

2nd loan with TSB was 10k.

I've been paying it down each month since 2019.

My credit rating is great until end of Feb, when I must default.

Edited by dx100uk
Language changed. HB + unnecessary previous post quote removed - dx
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I can't do that due to my CPTSD and other mental health issues.


Edited by dx100uk
unnecessary previous post quote removed
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thanks for the comprehensive advice dx100uk. I hadn't heard of the debt respite scheme. I'll look into it.

thanks to all respondents. 


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  • 1 month later...

Hello again!

I've been reading around the debt forums and I'm confident with how to proceed.

Let all the debts default.

Most, (in my unfortunate previous experience), will either result in an OC letter of claim, or be farmed out to some ****** DCA who will inflate the existing debt with arrears/charges/fines, etc, and will eventually also issue a LOC.

All my debts have been accrued in the past 5 years. All are totally enforceable, (and "morally" should be paid too by me). However!

I can't seem to find a definitive answer to this here -

Once I receive the LOC how can I defend? The debt is owed. I simply can't afford to pay it at this time, and nothing in the future would indicate a change in that.

What happens next?

Does the judge request my I&E and then order I pay £10pcm, thus running the SB to infinity?

Will I get a CCJ or an attachment of earnings set at some random amount?

What's the endgame here?


(ETA - I don't want to go down the DRO or Bankruptcy route for various reasons).

Edited by Xerzes
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Nothing's defaulted yet. I've kept up with minimum payments on all. 

It's all about to go south in the next few weeks.


TSB: £3,000 od (with 5k limit)

TSB credit card: £5,000 (with 5.5k limit)

TSB Loan 1: 8k remaining from original 14k loan

TSB Loan 2: 6k remaining from original 10k loan.

Plata Loan: 3.5k remaining from original 4k loan

Lloyds Bank credit card: £1,397 (with 1,500 limit)

Halifax credit card: £ 3,997 (with £4,500 limit)

All taken out since around 2018. All currently in good standing. 

Can't make minimum payments on all when fall due around end of month.

Some I can, obviously, but not the whole jumble. 

ETA - the Lloyds and the TSB cc are currently on 0% deals till around April.

Edited by Xerzes
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Thanks both for replies.

I hear ya.

My question is - what happens when I get do eventually get a Letter of Claim

What is the endgame?

Please - every thread I've read here just has the same advice but no-one ever seems to comment on the final result.

My debts are valid, they are owed, I simply can't service them.

I don't mean to sound rude but let me spell it out simply.

When I DO get letters of claim for valid debts, what is my defence and what happens after that?

Very simple question.

Very simply reply requested please, for a simple man like me.

Thanks, absolutely avoids my question.

Anyone else, please?


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I don't get it?

Why can't you answer a direct question?

What happens after I respond to the LOC and I owe the debt?

Surely this isn't rocket science, should be bread/butter question?

I need to know what happens when I allow all my debts to default and I get a letter of claim.

Don't say "oh well, when that happens come back".

I want to know the worst case scenario in advance, please.

Otherwise this is just keyboard warrior stuff.


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  • dx100uk changed the title to Got into debt again, yes I'm an idiot, can't have anything coming back to upset my aged parents. i live abroad.

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