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Help/advice needed please for a friend


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Hi, not sure if in right section so sorry if not.

I am asking for a very  good friend who has not internet, she collects her granddaughter from school a fair bit and one day couple weeks ago the T/A came across to her and said how well her granddaughter was doing and has extra help  as is  behind in some subjects, her g/d gets letters and numbers mixed up/back to front at times and my friend said she wondered if her G/D had dyxlsia ( sorry for spelling ) thing is she is got in a panic as she has asked the T/A not to mention this  to her G/D'S mum she said this as was spur of moment and asked for it to be kept between them-self.

My friend is worried it will come out as tonight is  her G/D'S parent evening? She wants assurance this will not be mentioned, she is worried sick and has no idea why she mentioned it, can this ben kept quiet do you think, her daughter is not always on good terms with her

 

Sorry for long winded post

 

Sandy

 

Hi, not sure if in right section so sorry if not.

I am asking for a very  good friend who has not internet,

 

she collects her granddaughter from school a fair bit and one day couple weeks ago the T/A came across to her and said how well her granddaughter was doing and has extra help  as is  behind in some subjects,

 

her g/d gets letters and numbers mixed up/back to front at times and my friend said she wondered if her G/D had dyxlsia ( sorry for spelling )

thing is she is got in a panic as she has asked the T/A not to mention this  to her G/D'S mum

she said this as was spur of moment and asked for it to be kept between them-self.

 

My friend is worried it will come out as tonight is  her G/D'S parent evening?

She wants assurance this will not be mentioned, she is worried sick and has no idea why she mentioned it,

can this ben kept quiet do you think,

 

her daughter is not always on good terms with her

 

Sorry for long winded post

 

Sandy

Edited by BankFodder
Restructured in order to make it readable

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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Dyslexia is a serious matter and it needs to be addressed .

It's not serious because it's an illness or causes any ill health .

It is a serious matter because it can lead to lack of confidence, undo performance, lack of self-esteem, and also it could be subject to a lack of understanding by teaching staff and other people whose child might have to deal with .

 

The school should have a special department whose function is to deal with this kind of thing .

There should be a safeguarding department and a senco and I think that the best thing to do would be to go and talk with them as quickly as possible .

The other thing to do is to talk to the child and get them to understand that this is nothing unusual and that it is an explanation for some of the difficulties that the child is having and although it may mean extra strategies to deal with it, there are people around to give help and support.

 

I understand that there is a risk of some friction with the mother, but the child's interests take priority over all of that .

I would suggest that the grandmother goes to see the school safeguarding department and senco and ask them to speak with the mother and not to refer to the fact that the subject was brought up by the grandmother.

 

The worst thing that could happen is that people are ashamed of this because that will feed onto the child and also imped any strategies that could be put in place to deal with it.

 

Dyslexia can never be cured but it can be managed and with the right strategies and earlier approach it can be managed very well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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thanks BF, she is more worried it will be bought up when it was asked by her to the T/A to not go any further , thats what she needs to know and I will pass on what you said

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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She said she asked the T/A not to mention it to her G/D'S mum so is it likely to be kept between my friend and the T/A, I

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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am sure things like this should be kept confident? my friend did ask it go no further?

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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It sounds to me is if your friend is ashamed of it and if that is correct then that is the first serious obstacle to helping her granddaughter manage it

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no she is not asjamed  BF, her and her G/D'S mum have spoke about G/D maybe have problems with words, she just did not want what she had discused in private with the T/A to go any further

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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have just spoken to my friend, she did not want the matter going any further as she wanted tell her daughter first before someone else did, all she wants to know is what she discussed with the T/A stays a private matter, no way is she is ashamed of her G/D , she has come on so much being at this new school

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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The TA had no business raising it with the child's grandmother in the first place as it hasn't already been discussed with the child's mother. It's confidential and your friend the grandmother does not have parental responsibility. The child's mother prsesumably is the person with parental responsibility, and with whom the school should discuss this.

 

Nor is it the TA's role to speculate that the child may be dyslexic. This is something that the class teacher should be raising. Expert assessment might then be needed later.

 

I'm afraid I think your friend has her priorities the wrong way round. She seems to be more concerned about her relationship with her daughter when her grandchild's interests should come first.  She should tell her daughter what happend so that her daughter can discuss it with the class teacher at the forthcoming parents' evening. 

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she has already discussed it and all ok, my friend was told about it as she looks after her G/D a lot , her daughter has just had a very  good parent evening ,and her G/D is border Dyslexic and is on a special needs programe :)

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R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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can this topic/post now be deleted please Thanks

R.I.P my beautiful grey ghost, gone but never forgotten, taken so suddenly, 04/07/2004 ~ ~ 02/03/2017

Gone but never forgotten,Little Miss Sunshine, Alisha Marie. 15/12/2005 ~ ~ 13/02/2006

Our  beloved Dalmatian Jazz,  gone to join Wal at Rainbow Bridge, hope you are now pain free .  20/9/2005 ~ ~ 24/3/2019

 

 

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Sandy, we don't normally delete posts just because the questions have been answered. There's nothing that can identify anyone here and your thread could well help other people

 

HB

Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

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