58k credit card debt accumulated over the years. Sole trader business struggling 12k per year. Can no longer cope .

[Thisseasonwillpass]

Hi Badtimes123

Loss of employment, £50k plus in recent debt, help needed to plan the future - Page 2 - Debt management and Debt self-help - Consumer Action Group

 

 whoa , you have been in the exact same boat as myself . infact i showed my wife this and she thought it was me . 

i did try to message you for some one to one advice but it wouldnt let me so thought i would try here as i , myself, am now at day one of your journey . 

 

my story goes like yourself .

40 , 3 young kids , wife doesnt work. Self employed with becoming a struggling business 12K PER YEAR .

around 58k credit card debt all in my name (wifes credit is good but she does not work) .

£8600 Santander

£15500 MBNA

£10K HALIFAX

£4000 Sainsburys (they coincidentally offered me 15 months balance and money transfer today )

M&S £4000

Virgin £16000

 

i have never missed any payments , paid them off before in my early years . Its just recently over last few years where it is beyond contol now . Guess ive been robbing peter to pay paul too much and its all came to this . i could argue irresponsible lending due to income but lets face it, buck stops with me . 

 

My first missed payment is due to be tomorrow , i have been worried sick , breakdown sick. i just cant cope anymore .

 

my question is what is my first steps?

do i contact them all ,

i already cancelled the debit for tomorrows mbna?

i see it said that best you can do is default as quickly as possible rather than kick a can down the road .

Should i offer token payments or simply cancel debits and stick my head in the sand which worries me .

 

i would really appreciate any help since you have been through this same scenario.

feel free to message me .

thankyou.

 

i also dont mind sharing my journey also if it helps others . 

 

[Badtimes123]

Welcome , if I've helped you reach out for help here then that makes me very happy because the reason I'm documenting this is for others to self help from my journey.

 

Indeed, start a new thread and I'll certainly drop in. What I would say at this point is, if you feel you'll be able to pay this back, then at least make token payments and potentially keep your credit score good by calling them and being polite   the guys on here will guide you as to your specific situation, although as you say yours is very similar to mine!

 

As the experts on this forum will tell you - nothing bad can actually happen here, it's just money.

 

I can say for certain that the fear you have is not based on any facts, the truth is hidden from you, do not fear.

 

Good luck

 

 

[Thisseasonwillpass]

thankyou so much.

i have just started this thread.

 

I am done for , ill never be able to pay this back being realistic.

The stress of it all and realisation broke me last week. 

 

Ive already admitted to myself that my credit is about to go to zero.

Im just trying to make sure that my wife keeps hers good .

 

[Badtimes123]

Nice, step 1 complete 

 

Very similar to me, but make no mistake my journey is barely started. The next 12 months for me are where the action will be.

Worse case? as I've already ruined my credit score defaulting everything, is that I have to pay back, which I intended to do before the wheels fell off so actually for me, today, there can only be positives because I know some of these debts will go away, not all of them perhaps, but some/most due to the shady businesses that work in debt collection and my willingness to stand up for myself in the face of a very criminal financial industry.

 

My first piece of advice, will copy what I was told by London1971 at the start of my thread - Forget morals, you're just a number.

Here's a snip you've probably already read but hey, it's solid advice and where you should start too:

 

"......

it's not like you owe the money to your best mate. To your Creditors you are just a number on a spreadsheet. 

 

Worst case scenario? Default on everything, and get a barrage of letters from mainly powerless DCA's (Debt Collection Agencies). Maybe nothing will happen, maybe at some point in the next 6 years you might get a Claim form to try and take you to court. We can advise you with that here if it does.

 

What would I do? As someone who's been through this mess. Get your calculator out and work out your essential expenses. Work out what you have left over to offer the cards and loans etc, offer them a token amount and ask them to freeze interest until you find another job.  It may be that because of the pandemic they will offer you a payment holiday anyway. 

 

If you are really worried you can still ask your mortgage company for a six month payment holiday also, I did it, and it really helped me get back on track after losing my job.

 

Mortgage, Council Tax, Food etc so you know what you need to live on.

 

Get rid of any expensive cars, spend a grand on an old Focus or Corolla

Get rid of any expensive mobiles, Buy a cheap PAYG on a second hand phone

 

 

Start looking for another job now, even if it's half the salary.

......

"

I'll be lurking around Thisseason - you got this.

 

 

Edited March 30, 2022 by Badtimes123

[honeybee13]

Thank you for commenting, BT123.

 

HB

[Thisseasonwillpass]

Hey thanks, yes a friend said the same kind of thing to me which was reassuring when i seen you mention it in yours also  . it's not like you owe the money to your best mate. To your Creditors you are just a number on a spreadsheet. 

 

They got caught out in the 2007 bubble and lost a lot . They ended up with a lot of debt on cards and have been making token payments since . Most of which have offered a full and final of 80% reduction but they .arent for paying just yet . 

 

ideally what i would like is for it not to drag on like that . Take the defaults and then try and rebuild my credit in 6 years. However someone here might be able to tell me if i would be best making token payments . Lets be real here though. 12k earning per year and struggling at that with fuel now  , wife gets some tax credits , that doesnt leave much if anything on the table with having 3 kids . This fuel hike has really sunk my ship .

Edited March 30, 2022 by Thisseasonwillpass

[Badtimes123]

I can't argue with your logic, it was my decision too after getting informed and knowing it was right for me.

 

TLDR;

- Let the stress go, nothing will change except your credit record.
- Forget your morals.

- Take as much as possible of the payments you would have been paying them and ship it to a separate account so you're positioned to make settlements in the future.

 

Replying to comment from my thread.

Sorry my replies are wordy to start your thread off! People will be here soon with real, straight to the point advice! I'll just be a cheerleader!

 

Jokes aside: Stress (posted in my thread) - please let it go, seriously. Take a moment to think about the important things to you and know they will not be affected, mine were my children, my wife, my home, my credit score (oddly)

 

Children will be unaffected, wife will be unaffected, home is protected from this (while ever I'm defending it and I could pay in the future) and finally my credit score??... well let's be honest, isn't that the issue in the first place? if I didn't have a mortgage to renew in 4 years time I genuinely don't want anything to do with credit again.

 

I had a moral issue, in that I had taken the money, I did spend it, I did owe it (I was raised well ) but forget all those feelings if you have them too, these companies are parasitic and by their own process they fall.. let them. If they had a way to get out of your contract, at your loss, they absolutely would!! I say give them the same treatment, no morals in business clearly.

 

Mine's a waiting game now, I'm stalling, making them prove enforcement those that can't will disappear, those that can will be communicated with. It will all be documented on CAG.

 

If you choose like me, to stop paying everything not a priority debt then from day 1, take as much of the money as you can, and ship it to a separate account/another person, that way if/when the time comes for any settlements, it'll be the money you were going to pay anyway!! a little win ha BONUS - you'll have savings for once! I can't overstate doing this, it's a real booster for energy when having to file all the DCA paperwork into folders.

 

Right I'm not going to spam type in your thread again, I will try to give short advice where I think I can help, but otherwise you're in good hands here, stay around and update your thread where you can, it'll be therapy for you too then simply follow the advice, everything is going to be fine regardless of how this plays out - know that.

 

Peace

 

 

 

[dx100uk]

stop all payments, get defaulted ASAP on every consumer credit debt.

then as they go defaulted - go pro-rata, £5 each.

at least if anything like court appears when/if these are ever sold on to powerless DCA's you have showed willing.

 

ignore DCA's until/unless your ever get a letter of claim - i mean it totally IGNORE them. if you do return here and we can deal.

 

don't ever ever be tempted to do/use things like DMP providers free or otherwise!! , IVA's, bankruptcy etc etc. 

 

you are in the debt self help forum,, and apart from the wonderful advise by BT123, read as many other threads here as possible.

 

we'll back you up.

just always abide by the GOLDEN RULE... no matter how convinced your think you are or are told you are...ALWAYS check here FIRST before you do anything with any debt in/out to ANYONE.

 

chin up.

it is NOT the end of the world seriously!!

we've had people with +£100k of debt come out smiling 

dx

 

 

 

[Thisseasonwillpass]

So today is my first missed payment ever on a credit card . What if they ring me ? What do I say ? I don’t want a lengthy explanation incase my tongue gets me in trouble , that and I’m pretty emotional right now.  

 

 

Edited March 31, 2022 by Thisseasonwillpass

[Badtimes123]

Relax.

 

They won't call today. Phonecalls mainly start when you're a few missed payments into it.

 

When they do call in the future and if you don't want to have to be ignoring calls, then answer it but only to take the opportunity to tell them you are having financial difficulties and you want phone to be removed as a method of communication regarding your account, post only from here on. Don't discuss anything else.

 

If you haven't done so already then start reading some success stories that are similar to our situation, get informed on the process that will follow, which will give you confidence and allow you to be calm. I found this one to be very informative as it went all the way to being defended in court:

 

[dx100uk]

you NEVER EVER EVER talk about debt over the phone to ANYONE.

you are NOT legally obliged to do so, same with EMAILS and TXT msgs.

 

writing only please ...HANG UP.

 

take control its YOUR MONEY you CHOOSE where it goes from now on!!

 

where does any income you get go?

it might be an idea NOW to open a parachute account.

 

 

[dx100uk]

posts moved to here on your own thread

thread tidied

 

dx

 

[Thisseasonwillpass]

it goes into my current account to pay for bills . its not like there is any excess income? no fancy cars above 2k . 

 

i have a couple of questions .

 

my mbna dd that i cancelled is registered to my previous address.

where i am now is not on the address drop down menu and says to contact them .

 

what if i was to change to my in laws address on same street .

would that have any repercussions to them?

or should i just do a royal mail redirection? 

 

also 

 

is a direct debit for family sport / leisure centre classed as a luxury .

its just a thing for us and kids into swimming pool and other sport there.

I dont want to take that away from them but if needs must .

 

thankyou

[dx100uk]

do you have any lending with the current account bank? if so get the income out of their hands they can off set debt and snatch the money...

 

as for MBNa dont play silly games

you must ensure ALL your debt owners always have your correct and current address

never run from debt.

 

as for the pool etc, keep it going doesn't matter its not priority.

[Thisseasonwillpass]

current and business is starling .

 

on the phone now to mbna to update address , 30 min wait .

 

should i change my contact number though to an old sim i have so i dont get hounded and it has to be sent via post?

[Badtimes123]

Do not offer any income/expenditure information at this moment in time.

 

From my understanding (not experience) you might only offer that info at the moment you go pro-rata, but even if you don't offer this info, the pro-rata offer is just as valid - happy to be corrected on this.

 

I know it's tough, and dx doesn't beat around the bush, but you need to follow those posts to the letter please. Don't do anything you aren't advised to do, that's why you're here right?

[dx100uk]

i question your wisdom of immediately jumping on the phone...what did we advise???

 

WRITE.

 

dx

 

[Thisseasonwillpass]

ah, rookie mistake, they didnt ask much, didnt even question todays payment , Duly noted , NEVER TALK ON PHONE TO THEM. thankyou 

[Thisseasonwillpass]

Just to clarify, as Santander is next on my list to update my address. 

 

Update your personal details – Santander Consumer Finance

WWW.SANTANDERCONSUMER.CO.UK

 

should i not even fill in that form ? should i ONLY EVER write/post letter and obtain proof from PO?

[dx100uk]

I would always use letter then you have a papertrail and proof of posting it, which legally is all you have to do.