Someone stole from my Dead Mother in law.

[The GodMother]

Ok so yes this is not a normal topic for cag but where we turn now is unknown. Also sorry if some of this is not relevant but l wanted to get everything down.  I am not the main person dealing with this but all info will be passed on and so will questions.

 

My Sister in law is the person who is the contact. 

 

Just over a month ago my mother in law died in a local to her hospice. She had Cancer and had spent over 2 yrs fighting it. The day she died her children were with her.

 

when she passed she had a necklace on which was a family heirloom and contained 2 expensive Pandora charms. There is photographic evidence of her with this necklace on and with the charms on it. This was taken by my partner. She never took it off. I dont remember a time in the past 10 years without her wearing it. I am going to guess she had added these charms as the necklace was her mums. 

 

Now someone has screwed up as they took the necklace off her body and returned it to my sister in law with the ashes last week, 4 weeks to the day after she died no Pandora charms on the necklace. 

 

When my mother in law arrived at the crematorium place, she had decided not to have a funeral due to not liking a fuss and costs, they took pictures and the pictures they took shows her with the necklace on but no Pandora charms.

 

Sister in law contacted the crematorium who say they have no idea where they are and have photographic proof her body did not have them on. The private ambulance say that they were not there when she was put in the bag and released to them.

 

The hospice says well if we took it off then there is no evidence as we would bagged them and recorded it followed procedures and given them back to you. We did ask if she wanted us to look after it and she every time said no. They are blaming the private ambulance and/or the crematorium. So 6 of one half dozen of the other. 

 

Police are not being helpful as we did not contact them quick enough and evidence has more than likely been disposed of as we asked where they were. Mums solicitor has said well someone has them but its proving who.  

 

Sister in law has contacted as many of the pawn shops in the area where hospice is and where staff could have come from as possible and despite it being a wide area none of them have had Pandora charms in.

 

Facebook has been checked but nothing charms wise. Ebay  checked but nothing we can prove. Private sellers dont have to publish a address like business sellers. Other selling sites checked nothing we can prove. As people will know Pandora is popular and several people may have the charm and with the pandemic people are selling stuff to survive. 

 

What are our options now. 

 

[unclebulgaria67]

Agree with the Solicitors. This is not going anywhere, as there is no proof of any crime being committed. You don't know who has got them and whether they stole them.

 

Could your mother in law have given the charms to children or hospice staff ?  If they have been asked about this, they may be awkward about saying they have them, feeling they would be accused of a crime or getting involved in family argument, when the charms were gifted to them.

 

 

[The GodMother]

The state mum was in before she died, based on what l have been told, No she was not even aware people were there. For 1 1/2 days she was unresponsive to touch and being spoken to etc. In fact Sister in law sore her the morning called my partner with a update then within 2 hours she called to say the hospice said they dont expect her to last 24 hours. She died the next day Lunch time. 

 

All the hospice has said is there is no record of these been taken from her. I dont know if the staff have been asked but they just keep repeating that line. They avoid all questions being asked about just repeating the no records line. 

My partner has a photo of his mum he took on his mobile the day she died with the necklace and charms on. 

I can say based on my partners bags and pockets he does not have them. The children all got asked to leave about 45 minutes after she died so anything from there on in they cant prove. 

 

[unclebulgaria67]

Could the charms have fallen off at any point, without anyone noticing ?

 

If the charms are found at any point,  is there any marking on the charms to say they belonged to your mother in law ?

 

Who moved your mother in law from the hospice to the crematorian ?

 

In trying to find out what happened to the charms, you may be getting into quite upsetting information e.g. how they move the deceased and processes that are followed.   Also if you start asking questions about the hospice,  you may upset the staff.

 

 

 

 

[Ethel Street]

Are the charms unique? ie if you saw them offered for sale online could you defintely say they were your MiL's? Or are identical charms available for anyone to purchase? if not unique I fear that searching online sites is unlikely to help because you wouldn't be able to identify charms for sale as definitely being those that belonged to your MiL.

 

Were they insured?  I appreicate the the real value of these is their link to your MiL and as a treasured piece of family jewellry, but roughly in financial terms what sort of value?

[The GodMother]

The charms cant have fallen off a necklace without it being taken off her or the necklace broken. As the necklace is not broken or noticeably fixed then l would say no. A private ambulance moved it would have been organised by the crem much like if she was going to a funeral directors. I know the name of the company she used for organising the cremation. Its a well advertised on tv one.  

 

My partner and sister in law work or worked in care nursing and hospices so they know how things work. I would assume the ambulance, well they are black vans with private ambulance wrote on the side we live near a funeral home and hospital so see them regularly, has been cleaned several times by now and so has the room as normally people are only there short term. My MIL was there 8 days so bearing in mind thats 5 weeks ago then l would have expected that room to have cleaned and been used again at least once or twice. 

 

I am not a pandora fan but l would assume they are something that could be purchased by anyone form the store or website. I cant remember the charms, l have not seen her for over 2 years in person but video calls and pictures its early February. This is obviously due to the cancer treatment and her picking anything up someone needing to be here for our 3 children and covid. Tho the last time l spoke to her via video l know she was wearing the necklace as she wanted to know if the top she had brought was to young for her and l sore the necklace. 

I understand what your saying regarding the looking online but the police asked us to look then decided we had waited to long to report it. Tho we did not know the charms we missing until the necklace was returned. 

I would not know about the cost of the charms or insurance as l was not involved in the day to day of her care due to being about 100 miles from her. About 4 hours by bus. 

 

Tbh the way the family feels we dont really care if we upset the staff. The children had planned to give the hospice part of the inheritance each as a thank you and donation towards the costs of hospice. They have now decided not to do this due to whats happened. How do they think we feel feel knowing that someone has stolen from us. I have been a part of this family for nearly 21 years and feel l have the right to be annoyed and upset.