Marriage separation buying him out

[Fringer]

Hi all I’m hoping for a bit of advice please 

 

My husband and I are separating after 20 years together, been married 16 years this year

I have a 21 year old son from a previous relationship who still lives with us in our 2 bed house which we bought in 2015.

 

We inherited a large sum of money back in 2017 after his mum passed away and we invested a lot into the house had it completely renovated.

 

The marriage has been more like a brother & sister relationship for many years and although I’d threatened to leave before I always just gave in and carried on but now I’ve had enough so have decided this is it.

 

I work full time, he is newly self employed and doesn’t earn as much as me therefore he can’t buy me out so he said I could buy him out. 
We have 100k equity.

First he agreed on 50k then he spoke to someone who said he is entitled to half of the value, not the equity so asked for 100k 

I told him he wasn’t entitled, he agreed and changed back to 50k

I have now got the ball rolling, been offered a mortgage and the paperwork is under way. Then he asked for another 1k which I have agreed to.
I have paid out £500 to have his name removed from things so far. He has now said he thinks I’m up to something and is refusing to sign the paperwork to do with removing his name from the land registry.

He says he is rethinking it and may not want to sell to me as all of a sudden he doesn’t trust me. 
I keep trying to talk to him and he won’t. I’ve said my son and I need to know where we will be living but he won’t take my son into account says he’s old enough to live on his own. 
We have racked up debts between us but the majority are in his name only, one of them is for sofa finance in my name only which I am keeping so he said he won’t pay that but expects me to pay half of the debts in his name as we both spent the money.

My question is, can he change his mind now? Can he pull the rug from underneath me when he has agreed to sell to me but nothing is yet signed? 
Is it right my son doesn’t come into the equation because he’s an adult although he’s my child and still lives at home? 
We had been getting on up until this was said last night and it’s because I haven’t given in to him again I know but I need to know where I stand legally 

Thanks 

[Fringer]

I forgot to say he keeps trying to make me feel bad as well about it being his mums money that went into the house saying he should be entitled to more of a share because it was his mum who left us the money that done the house up

[honeybee13]

Hi.

 

Have you spoken to a divorce lawyer or has your husband? Trying to look at this from the outside, it sounds as if it would be better to agree a fair split according to divorce law rather than deciding between you.

 

Sadly, once money becomes involved things can become more complicated, but I'd have thought a divorce lawyer would be able to advise.

 

ETA: Here's some advice from the government.

 

HB

[Fringer]

No we haven’t mentioned divorce yet

The fair split is I give him half the equity and anything he wants to take from the house 

I just feel he is now being unreasonable because I won’t change my mind and take him back 

[honeybee13]

That's what keeps divorce lawyers and mediators in work, I suppose. You think he's being unreasonable and he thinks you are.

 

My gut feeling is that it would be better to have this agreed in writing so it can't be challenged later, but that's just my opinion. Here's more information from the CAB in case it covers something you haven't already considered.

 

HB

[AndyOrch]

Have you had the property valued.....what's its worth ?  If he agrees to nothing and signs nothing he is legally entitled to 50% of the value anyway.

[Fringer]

On 26/02/2021 at 12:50, Andyorch said:

Have you had the property valued.....what's its worth ?  If he agrees to nothing and signs nothing he is legally entitled to 50% of the value anyway.

He is entitled to half of the equity, not half of the value as we have a mortgage on it 

 

[Fringer]

On 26/02/2021 at 06:20, honeybee13 said:

That's what keeps divorce lawyers and mediators in work, I suppose. You think he's being unreasonable and he thinks you are.

 

My gut feeling is that it would be better to have this agreed in writing so it can't be challenged later, but that's just my opinion. Here's more information from the CAB in case it covers something you haven't already considered.

 

HB

I contacted a mediator who gave me their prices of £99 per person for the first session, £180 per person for each session after and then a further £180 per person for the paperwork ... which IS NOT LEGALLY BINDING

 

Think I'm in the wrong job! 

[honeybee13]

A divorce lawyer should be able talk to you for up to half an hour without charging, to assess whether they can help with a separation agreement. You can find someone locally via the Law Society website, click on Find a Solicitor or follow this link.

 

https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

 

HB

[Fringer]

Further development 

 

He has now signed the TR1 form which is the transfer of equity, a copy for my solicitor and a copy for his

We have argued tonight as he is refusing to leave until he gets his money so an argument has kicked off and he’s told me he will now refuse to sell the property to me and that he has emailed his solicitor to tell them to stop everything

Can he do this?? 

Edited March 17, 2021 by Fringer

[Homer67]

On 01/03/2021 at 08:44, Fringer said:

He is entitled to half of the equity, not half of the value as we have a mortgage on it 

 

 

You are both correct and incorrect on this.

 

Each party is entitled to half of the value of the property - Specifically half of any debt and half of any equity.

 

Regarding your son, he is well over the age of responsibility (18 in the UK) and his needs do not therefore count towards either party's enttilement - unless your son has special needs which makes his care dependant on one or both of you.

 

Also he can refuse to sign anything and move the goalposts as much as he wants to, albeit that will be costly in legal fees for you both, but I think he knows that.

 

Edited April 13, 2021 by Homer67
additional info