Have I ruined my life

[Dumbo100]

Hi, I would first of all like to thank anyone who replies in advance for their help, and also apologise you have to deal with me and my stupidity. Also I want to abstain from posting any identifiers just in case, so sorry if this is confusing.

 

So over a month ago now, my 2 friends and I (all 17) were caught by a major retailer (the cheap one) for shoplifting. Earlier that day, we had gone into that same store that caught us but a different branch and I had taken a £6 top; I have no idea why I did it, I didn't need it and wasn't planning to but my friends who had taken things rushed me to leave the store and so as it was in my hand and we were near the exit I just did it. We then travelled and ended up at the cheap makeup retailer (you can guess which one) and my friend took two items for me, but as I knew we were being looked at and I also felt bad, I bought expensive items myself. We then left the store seemingly not in trouble and went to the next store where we got caught. Notably my friend and I both took nothing from this store as we didn't want to and were being followed around, but when we were leaving we were stopped as our other friend had taken stuff, although we didn't know as we thought she dropped everything. 

 

In the holding room they found the £6 item on me and accused me of taking it from their store, so I explained it wasn't from this specific store but the earlier store; they also found the items my friends had got from the previous branch on them. Additionally, they found the two makeup items on me, as my friend who took the items had given them to me once we left the store. And also they found makeup items on my friends.  So we gave our  details but didn't receive a ban.

 

Fast forward we got the fine from you know who (don't want to mention their name in case they troll these messages), and my friend and I paid against the advice of all these forums, but the one who actually took from the store that caught us didn't. The thing is, we paid as the branch that caught us used to be our previous employer (it had been around two months since I quit from there when this all happened, and I hadn't worked in the branch this happened in) and we were scared.

 

I was never silly enough to take proper items from my employer, and I never wanted to as until a couple moths before the incident, I had never been this type of person; but I had taken loose hairbands that were meant to be in packs but were absent of a pack, from my store, as well as loose scrunchies that were parts of packs of three but were missing the other two and had no tags but were just hanging on the end of the rail. I was told by other employees that these wouldn't be sold anyway and just disposed of, so I took them, but I don't know if this is true. I probably took around 10 loose scrunchies which would amount to £8 maybe. Also once I had found three tagless bandannas on the floor and had taken them.

 

At the time it didn't seem like a big deal but now thinking about it, that was still stealing whether in unsellable condition or not. My other friend who payed the fine and also worked at the store used to take eyelashes and small jewellery, but apparently she did it where no cameras were.

 

When I quit the store, I was in a terrible place and this is when I  made the friends who encouraged me to take things. I have depression and anxiety and so I just wanted to have friends really badly and since literally everyone at our school does it, I got into my head that cameras don't work and if you're not stupid about it nothing will happen. So I took items from quite a few retailers who use the same fine company, but it was never a frequent thing until a couple weeks before the incident, where I took more frequently and in larger quantities. I was in the worst headspace of my life at this time.

 

The irony is I was getting better and thinking of stopping just the day before this happened, and I really only took the stuff on the day out of peer pressure; I didn't want the two makeup items or the top. Now I am definitely in the worst place I've ever been as I'm so scared and I can't function. I fully acknowledge what I did was wrong, and out of immense guilt I have since returned all the items I could to the stores undetected (I never use or wear any items I take as I mostly do it socially and not cause I want anything, and I just feel bad about it retrospectively, but in the moment its a rush and a desire to be accepted I guess). Anyway yes I am horrible and it is my fault, but my main concern is that the fine company or the retailer that caught me, my previous employer, may have circulated my info or searched me up and found out I used to work in the companys other branch, and started to investigate me and look at past cctv.

 

If so they will see me take the headbands! Would this be cause to contact the police for misconduct or breach of trust, even though I've left and the amount is small? How likely is this; I know people say they won't search though hours of footage for no reward but my contracted hour were the minimum on one day a week so it wouldn't be as much effort as a full time employee?

 

Also is there possibly a system in place that has tracked my face in all these stores and collated my data and various incidents on me? If this was the case then the police would have more than enough to convict me and id get a record which I know I could never come back from as I can barely look at myself in the mirror now. Also if this system did exist or I was investigated, my employer could see that I took more valuable items (never expensive though) from other branches, and contact the police for those as well!!

 

I don't know I'm honestly so terrified right now and I've never hated myself more. I didn't realise how deep I was in the rabbit hole till after, and I take complete responsibility. As I'm in my last year of school and exams are so close its just horrible cause all I do now is cry and have panic attacks; I can't revise and it been over a month now; I just want to know the chance I will get in trouble. I payed the fine but will that decrease the likelihood of any other retail companies taking further action for retrospective crimes? I can't receive a caution or go to court as id be disowned and I will soon have to be a caregiver in my house and I need to be able to provide for my family.

 

Im rambling but I can't sleep, someone please help and be brutally honest. No one can make me feel worse than I do right now, but I will never do anything bad again.

[dx100uk]

it is not a fine and it is paid not payed.

 

there is no face recognition system in use and there is absolutely no way that any company would ever waste 100's if not 1000's of staff hours trawling through cctv to get someone on theft of a handful of flippin' hair products thab cost <£10.

 

sadly all you and your mate have done by paying RLP is give them free money to go laughing at you all the way down to their local  pub that night and have a slap-up meal and drinks at your expense,  also part of your free money to them also props up their business and funds the harassment of other like you, scaring the be-jesus them like they did you.

 

the retailer sees NONE of the money you paid RLP , but ofcourse gets further fleeced by RLP because their brainless head office signs upto RLP under an annual contract.

 

forget about it, go enjoy your life...and next time you think of doing it, just remember you might well get caught and the police might well be called...so don't . you are young and allowed to make mistakes..now you've grown - up.

 

dx

 

[Losspreventionguy]

Hello,

 

A few things;

 

Firstly, you can stop worrying about your previous employer having evidence of your thefts (and yes, taking things that you deem unsaleable is still theft), firstly because what DX said is true - the store will not waste hours of time searching through CCTV, but also because nobody keeps CCTV for more than 31 days.  The law states that CCTV images are not kept for any longer than is necessary, which is a bit ambiguous, but the 'industry standard' has been unofficially set at 31 days.  I know of no other retail business that keeps footage for longer than this, so even if they wanted to, there is zero chance that they will be able to review footage from more than two months ago, which is when you said you left your employment there.

 

Secondly, I'm glad you got caught.  That may sound harsh, but reading through your post, it is quite clear that the seriousness of your stealing would have only got worse.  You were caught stealing low value, petty items.  It's only human nature that the more you get away with something, the further you push your luck.  You would have eventually upgraded (maybe with the encouragement of your so-called 'friends') to stealing higher value, less petty items; this would have landed you in trouble with the police, your details being shared around the town etc. 

 

You may not think it would have escalated to that, but your attitude was staggeringly complacent - thinking cameras probably don't work, not that serious, if I'm not stupid about it I won't get caught etc - and this is an attitude I've come across hundreds of times before.  The difference with you, is that you clearly are remorseful and are now aware that actions have consequences.

 

You are clearly quite an intelligent young person.  My advice to you if you will permit me, is to think about potential consequences of your actions in all areas of your life, not just when it comes to deciding whether or not to shoplift.  The first one being, whether continuing to be friends with these people will have further consequences down the road, particularly if you are soon to be a caregiver for your family.

 

In summary; you were caught, dealt with at the time, you have paid RLP (nobody would advise you to do that including myself, but when you are trying to put something behind you, I can understand why you did it), and the chances are you will never be thought of again by those who dealt with you.  You can put this all behind you, concentrate on the important things in your life and treat it as one of life's lessons (many more will follow).

 

Best of luck in your exams.

 

LPG

[Dumbo100]

Hello,

 

Firstly, thank you guys so much for taking the time to answer so quickly, and also sorry DX for the bad grammar haha.

 

With regards to what DX said about the retailer seeing none of the money I paid, I read on other forums that 40% goes to rl.p while 60% goes to the retailer; is this not true then? Of course it doesn’t affect me now as I’ve already given my money to them, but I’m just curious as rl.p states that they collect the money for the retailer.

 

Also @LPG, it isn’t harsh at all. Although it has caused me a lot of mental suffering, I am also glad it happened as you are right; even if I had stopped, as soon as I re-entered a vulnerable state I would have most likely regressed and  the situation could have escalated. I still question if I am actually not going to be affected by this in terms of the police and stuff, but I am sure I definitely would have if this didn’t happen. It was an important lesson that I understand I needed to learn.

 

Haha I’m clearly not that intelligent if I let myself get into this situation in the first place, but thank you. Also thank you for the advice, I am definitely going to be more cautious about who I surround myself with and the decisions I make from now on. I have already distanced myself from my ’friends’ and am looking at getting new professional help to help me deal with my emotions.

 

I will try and put this behind me and I hope no one from the store or any other remembers me. I did go back to the store a couple times though, first to apologise and after to talk to the security guard who dealt with us (silly I know, but he said he would try and not send my information as I was clearly remorseful and didn’t take from that store, and I also was just going insane with worry and wanted more information on what was going to happen).

 

I hope I didn’t seem suspicious for coming back so many times and I’ll probably never go in that store or any other branches again, out of respect and fear. Anyway I’m going off track but I really appreciate your help and the caring non judgemental environment of this forum; for the first time I don’t feel as anxious. I will focus on my studies now and lead a good life. Again I’m really grateful for the information given!

[honeybee13]

I think that's a very good attitude to take, well done you.

 

It's the right thing to go and see your GP for extra help so that you can get to the bottom of why you shoplifted and should help you to leave all this behind.

 

HB

[dx100uk]

how and when did you and your mate pay RLP?

 

dx

 

[Dumbo100]

We paid online on their website and at the end of last month.

[dx100uk]

but using a debit card?

 

 

 

dx

 

[Dumbo100]

Yes we did

Edited March 16, 2020 by Dumbo100

[dx100uk]

there has been atleast two successes to date I am aware of..

I am aware of no failures.

 

ring your bank demand they do a chargeback ob the payment made by card blah blah on xx date to xx payee.

you were duped and paid under duress as you wrongly believed the payee were some kind of legal entity when they are merely ambulance chasers.

 

[Dumbo100]

I would do that but I’m worried they will start contacting me again. 

I don’t want them to contact the retailer and spark an investigation because I paid then unpaid, and especially since it’s not like this was a first time incident.

 

I feel like if anyone was unlucky enough to be taken to court it would be me, so I don’t know if I want to test my luck.

And although I used the last of my savings, I’m content knowing no more action is likely to come my way.

Thank you for trying to help though x

 

I read on the tk thread that when an incident happens the store burns it to dvd (I’m not sure how accurate that is now as it was a long time ago that the post was made), if this is true then if by chance security workers reviewed footage on days when I or the people I used to hang out with took things,

 

would they burn this down as an incident to use against us if we were caught at a later date in their store?

Or would they deem it necessary to hold the footage for longer?

Or as we weren’t caught would nothing be allowed to happen?

[dx100uk]

go do it..

and STOP reading rubbish on the interweb which is 99% guaranteed to be written by people working for RLP, 

used to be quite a common thing a few years ago for them to do those types of posts just to scare readers into being fleeced if it's happened to them.

 

I can't really keep firming up what we here on CAG and experts like LPG know to be the truth....

there are no DVD's , there are no cases of 'lumping everything together' and going after you.

and ofcourse you wont be doing it again so..WON'T be caught at a later date.

 

go get YOUR MONEY BACK. do a chargeback

 

 

[Dumbo100]

Okay I might try it, but I don’t know I feel like the money is owed in general. If I do I’ll donate it or something. Thanks you again for the fast replies and advice x

[dx100uk]

the only people you could ever have owed money too is the store, they didn't and will not now push it so ...

you've nothing to loose by trying.

[Dumbo100]

Hi, I apologise for coming back but I'm really worried about everything again, and I wanted to ask if you guys are sure that nothing will happen in the future (of course Im aware you can only give your best advice and information but nothing is completely definite). 

 

I know from all the threads you guys reassure everyone that the prevention company can't do anything so its stupid to ask again.

 

However after I quit from the previous employer that this happened in the branch of, I got a temp job for the holidays, at a popular supermarket chain; around two weeks ago they contacted and asked me if I would be open to coming back as they need more people due to the virus, and they said they'd put my name in and never got back to me.

 

On Friday I texted the person who asked and they haven't replied

I'm worried maybe they did a check on me again and something came up they decided no to contact me.

 

Alternatively I could just be overthinking and they could have just decided as I'm a minor, they shouldn't have me in during this time. I can't help but think they know though.

 

I just want to ask is there any way that the prevention company could have shared my details with authorities or it could come up on a system because I got caught by my previous employer? That would mean when I got the temp job my record was clean but now its not so the supermarket and anything I apply for now will see my worst mistake.

 

I just keep thinking maybe the govenment or someone keeps a database more in depth than a record where every wrongdoing someone has done that was caught is recorded; of course that's silly because why would they give that to shops, but I don't know I can't stop feeling like this is going to show up when I apply for jobs and especially apprenticeships. If there was a database I'm sure no one would tell me haha but am I right to think this could come up somewhere or am I reaching? I know in terms of Circo, the partner company of you know who, I could come up if a company asks for a civil recovery check, but apparently not many sign up to it?

 

I am doing better but its just waves of anxiety surrounding the whole situation. Now that I'm thinking about my future again Im scared; I want to go into a creative industry that is very competitive, so I'm applying to apprenticeships as its the best way in but one bad thing on my transcript will disadvantage me a lot.

 

Sorry again for bothering you guys, I know everyone is going through stuff right now and all my worries are my fault so I just have to deal with the consequences; I just want to know the possibility that there are some because Im not like others who just got caught in random stores and I feel like that is something they would make a check for.

 

Not sure if that made any sense and sorry its so long 

[dx100uk]

there is no database they share with any Gov't no

 

its ended

stop over thinking things ...seriously!!

 

a friend of mine got the same letter as you, she last worked for this lot 15yrs ago.

its just a database mass mailing all done by PC.

 

 

 

dx

 

[Dumbo100]

Ok thank you for you help, I am trying but I just get paranoid

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply

[Dumbo100]

 

Sorry I didn't see the extra bit

Did she get hers by text or something else? Mine had the hours they wanted and my store so I thought it was personal.

Mass mailing would make sense though, but as they replied the first time I texted back and then after saying they would put me forward then didn't that's what worried me.

[honeybee13]

If you want to know why you didn't get the work, try asking the employer. They could be too busy to reply, but it's worth a try.

 

HB

[ericsbrother]

you are under 18, in simple terms you can never owe them the money

[Dumbo100]

They got back to me a couple days ago and it seems everything is okay. I just overthink too much. I really appreciate the help all of you have given

 

I hope everyone is safe and well