Claiming back Child Maintenance from a child that's not mine

[NeoFuture]

Sorry Admin please put this in the right place... I couldn't find the right forum

I agreed with my ex wife to always support a child that was not mine,

but things have soured,

and I feel I wish to claim back the maintenance I have paid her,

 

on my calculation its close to £12k

its ironic when the kids got to over 18 she decided to be a complete nasty person towards me

she has also alienated my kids from me who will now not talk to me,

I feel im within my rights to ask for my money back on this occasion.

Can anyone help with my civil case against her

i'm claiming 1/3 of £200 a month for 14 years 

I intend to send her a letter before action so she can prove paternity

any advice is welcome

[dx100uk]

moved to the CSA forum.

whom I would be contacting about this issue.

 

dx

 

[NeoFuture]

There was no formal CSA agreement

it was a personal agreement, because she was on benefits,

she would get all my cash instead of the £5 a month on top of her benefits

 

both myself and my ex partner know the paternity,

she is fully aware and I may request DNA on not only this child but all

[dx100uk]

opps so you have also accidently involved yourself in potential benefit fraud?

 

[stu007]

Hi

 

Exactly how were you paying her this money? (cash.bank transfer, other)

 

Irrespective how this money was paid you need to be aware as you have mentioned in post#3: '

 

Quote

There was no formal CSA agreement

it was a personal agreement, because she was on benefits,

she would get all my cash instead of the £5 a month on top of her benefits

 

This would need to have been declared as Income by that person claiming benefits you need to fully understand what dx100uk has stated as you were aware she was claiming benefits at the time by your posts.

 

 

 

[unclebulgaria67]

Money received towards maintenance of children does not normally count as income for benefit purposes. It is only spousal maintenance income that would need to be declared for benefit purposes.

 

In regard to the issue raised, you would have to prove that the mother of the child lied to you in order to obtain the arrangement to pay towards the maintenance of the child.  If neither the mother or child consent to a DNA test, you would have to seek an order of the court to obtain their DNA. Sounds like a lot of expense and months of hassle, with the possibility you would not succeed.

[BankFodder]

You don't say anything about how long you were with the family or what your relationship was with the children. Did you bond with them and did they consider you as their father?

You don't say how long you were married?

I think you are in a very difficult position but I have to say that if you move this up to the level of conflict which you are proposing, then you may scupper any possibility of the bond between yourself and the children being re-established.

Do you actually need this money? Is there any element of anger in what you are trying to do?

Of course I'm straying into terrain that is really not at all my business and it's not what we normally do here – but I'm just wondering whether it might be best off to try and let things cool a little – maybe see a relationship counsellor – not to heal your relationship which seems to be definitively at an end, but maybe to try and remove the conflict element for the sake of yourself and also the children – even though they are over 18, they may still need a father figure in their life and you may appreciate the company and friendship of young people who presumably once trusted you and who once were important to you.

Your ex-wife may have turned them against you – but by entering into a new phase of conflict – especially as from your post there seems to be a certain tit-for-tat involved in it, may simply play into your ex-wife's hands and confirm to the children that actually they are right to see you in a bad light.

I really don't want to get any further into this conversation – I'm just proposing another viewpoint