Jump to content

 

BankFodder BankFodder


NGEddie

Parents taking me to court over my house!

Recommended Posts

Hi all

 

About a week ago I asked my parents for a list of things they claim I owe them money for as per the letter. I asked yesterday how the list was going and my Mother said she hadn’t started it and can’t really remember what the things are?! This completely contradicts the letter and is pretty much exactly as FTMDave says The worst sort are the nutters who will start court action even though they're in the wrong legally and end up wasting their own time & money, as well as the other party's which sums it up!

 

BankFodder - I am going to talk through the letter on Saturday with them and for the solicitor am thinking of sending:

 

Dear xxxx

 

I acknowledge receipt of your letter, the contents of which are noted.

 

I wish to state that I legally own the property at xxxx as per land registry and pay the mortgage for this. (I could mention utilities but don’t want to give away too much)

 

I also wish to state I disagree with the majority of other points in your letter.

 

After speaking with my parents we have decided to resolve with situation without the need for mediation or legal representation.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

What do you think?

 

I did speak to a solicitor who said I could either not reply at all, then would probably get a chase up but also leaves the solicitor not actually knowing if I agree or disagree to the letter and then wouldn’t know how to play it as such.

 

I could enclose some evidence but feel this may be giving away my ace cards if it ever got that far?

 

Many thanks

 

E!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't bother to start providing evidence to anybody until you had a formal claim against you.

Have your parents agreed in writing to resolve the situation informally? I would have thought that you need them to call off their solicitors in writing. I can imagine that they would then get a solicitor's bill and that might add a little shock which will add to their motivation to drop it.

I wouldn't write the above letter – which presumably is to be addressed to their solicitors. Let them write to their solicitors.

They need simply to write a little letter such as:

 

Quote

We have spoken to our son and we agree that the issues are so complicated that they are likely to cost a great deal of money and so we have decided to try and resolve any problems informally and without legal help.

We are sorry if we put you to any trouble. Please will you let us have your invoice for work carried out so far.

Yours sincerely

 

Something like that


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Funny you should say this.

 

I asked them to tell their solicitor just that, they apparently called him and the answer was that I needed to reply with my proposals 😕 I then said there are no proposals if we are sorting it ourselves.

 

The other factor is, if I can actually believe my parents would send the simple letter, unless I post it myself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds to me as if the solicitors try to hang onto the case.

I agree that you can't have confidence that your parents would send the letter. I think that if they really agree then I think you need to get them to write it with you and that you should then offer to post it off which you should do immediately on the basis that you're just going out post it and back in five minutes. Then you can continue your discussions.

Or you can have the chat around the kitchen table, make the agreement, get the letter written and then take your parents out for a cup of tea and passed by the letterbox or post office on the way to the café


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all

 

At the weekend I had a two and half hour talk with my parents.

 

It soon became apparent they do not appear to have any supporting evidence for their claims in the letter for the items paid for and work carried out, utility bills etc...

 

I had asked to talk things over and go through the list of things they claim I owe them money for. What they produced was two A4 tatty bits of paper, both handwritten.

 

The worst part is they really have no idea of the seriousness of what they have started.

 

My mum was in tears a lot of the time and keeps quoting how it was her Fathers wish she had the house, which I then reminder her this didn't happen because of the court case with her late Brother where it was divided by instruction of the court! 

 

My dad continues to say he wants the house 'transferred to them debt free' and my mum keeps saying she just wants to her name on the deeds out of principle.

 

I even said I would pay the £ they claim I owe and could give them something from the rent to try to come to some kind of resolution but they wouldn't go for it!

 

As a test I asked what they would do with the house if in their name, my dad said 'think about it' and my mum said 'anything' which just shows it almost like the damn street light where they are fixated and must just win at any cost.

 

I really do not want to be getting into a court thing, but think it would almost be laughed out of court as it is almost complete based on hearsay and what it in their heads!

 

The part about me paying the mortgage in lieu of rent, I said this was never agreed or spoken about and my dad just angrily said 'well I knew about it! and no one else did as was in his head!

 

This is driving me insane!

 

Please let me know what you think my next move should be

 

Many thanks

 

E!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How old are your parents?


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

70 and 71

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So not dramatically old.

I'm not sure what else there is to do except to keep a dialogue going with them. You may receive letters directly from the solicitor but I suggest that you make a point of not responding directly to them but communicating directly with your parents instead. Try generally to do this by word of mouth so that you keep some interpersonal connection going. The solicitor will object very strongly to you communicating directly with his client. Don't worry about it. The solicitor will be concerned about fees and also about professional pride. Ignore the solicitor always deal directly with your parents. Don't let the solicitor take over.

Keep us informed as to what is happening. As I have already said, if you can get any kind of written agreement from your parents and that will be very helpful. If all they've got is a couple of scraps of paper, if there is any way that you can photograph them then that would be a very good idea. You can either do that without your parents realising all simply tell your parents that it would be useful to have the same information as them.

Nobody is trying to trick your parents. On the basis of what you have said, you bought the house quite legitimately a long time ago and it's a bit of a mystery as to why your parents are becoming concerned about it all now. As I have already said, if there is any issue about money that you owe then this is a separate matter and you should deal with that separately but it has nothing to do with the house as far as I can see.

The most important thing with your parents is – dialogue – dialogue – dialogue

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you BankFodder, this is such a great community on here!

 

I am pleased to read this, as the 28 day lurking over me has been causing a lot of anxiety!

 

Nobody is trying to trick your parents. On the basis of what you have said, you bought the house quite legitimately a long time ago and it's a bit of a mystery as to why your parents are becoming concerned about it all now. As I have already said, if there is any issue about money that you owe then this is a separate matter and you should deal with that separately but it has nothing to do with the house as far as I can see.

 

If only I could make them understand this. My parents are very much of the ‘world is against us’ mindset and I know this because I used to be in then circle and the same. My mum has made comments about how I have changed, and this is probably a lot to do with it. I am no longer their child who they can control and ask them which decision I should make, there is probably an element of this in there.

 

One thing which has just come to mind, about two months ago my parents had a break in at their home. Lived there over 40 years and nothing ever like this. It makes me think has this triggered something 😕

 

I had a google on adding someone to a deed, as my dad has said yesterday, but it ultimately gives them a level of control and makes no sense!

 

E!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would advise very strongly against giving any ground on ownership of the property. You have no idea what might happen if they decide to leave their share of it somewhere else in their will.

You are the sole owner of the property – and I would keep it that way because anything else will start to introduce further complications and ambiguities – and at the end of the day the only beneficiary will be the solicitor. Imagine if your parents became part owners and then continued in litigation against you and started incurring costs which they were unable to satisfy – the next thing that will happen will be that the solicitor start to take action against the property as being your parents' only asset and you will then be fighting possession proceedings brought by the solicitor to pay off his fees.

I don't think there's much more we can say on this

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes I agree, hmmm I didn’t even think of that but you make a good point!

 

I did speak to the legal cover team advice line I have with my home insurance, which excludes cases against family members.

 

She recommended I send a basic reply and say something like:

 

I am surprised to get this letter which is not correct.

 

The property was purchased in my sole name, for myself, with my money.

 

There was no agreement of any kind.

 

I paid for it all, including renovation, maintenance and have managed letting through the agent myself.

 

But am not sure now after your comments before BankFodder

 

This is extremely difficult for me as it feels like I am fighting against those who cared for me as a child and whilst growing up, even though I know I was probably very overprotected and most of all, they have started this whole thing! I have told them before how their behaviour is pretty much destroying any good child memories I have still have and they still continue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well on one hand I sympathise with your childhood emotions – but you're not a child anymore. You are a responsible adult and you need to sort it out.

I'm afraid this isn't a place to start dealing with those kinds of problems. We can simply give you some pragmatic advice.

Your so called legal insurer will simply take an easy way out and suggest conventional solutions – which aren't necessarily solutions.

I've said all I can in previous posts.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It seems as though the solicitoras want to keep hold of this payday and will do anything to churn it ( make money by continuing an action that isnt in the clients interests).

 

The land registry will have the record of who paid for the property and how so you will be in the clear on that as you didnt just take the place over, you bought it from the estate of the deceased.

 

now it seems like your mother is struck by regrets/remorse over her inability to take over the property at the time and what tends to happen is that relatives will sit there and say bad things about the person who they see is the beneficiary of their misfortune and then get into a feedback loop, each reinforcing the wrong opinion of the other.

 

Your attempts to sort things out logically ahs tempered this somewhat so do continue and keep clear of their  lawyers at all costs, they will just keep the meter ticking over and bring the negative thought back to the surface.

 

your parents will already be about 2 grand a day down on anything the sols have done so try and get them to  look back to the mess that her father's death left them in and amke it clear that at least the house is still in the family and that she has benefitted from that by receiving money at the time that otherwise she wouldnt have got.

 

If that still causes friction then I would still write to them rather than responding to the solicitor, the lesson they will learn will cost them less and when the sols have moved on to the next client they will have not lost so much of what they still have left.

 

Ultimately if they do actually issue proceedings you can ask for the claim to be chucked out as having no merit etc by showing how the place was bought. I do struggle to believe that people dont know who their mortgage was with even after all of this time,  same as I find it odd that people suddenly find details for accounts with tens of thousands in that they had forgotten about. You can find out as again it will be in the Land registry entry for most properties that had a mortgage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a thought about replying to the solicitor, maybe the experts can comment.

 

Let's suppose OP's parents do get persuaded by their solicitor to take their claim to court, despite how weak their case appears to be. Would it then count against OP that he had not replied to the solicitor's letter, directly to the solicitor? Maybe the judge would say that if OP had replied to the initial letter the case could have been resolved earlier and that would influence the judge's view on costs, for example? (Obviously if OP receives a formal 'Letter Before Action' he must reply, but I'm thinking about what he should do about this first letter from the solicitor.)

 

That's a question, I don't know the answer. It might be something that's on OP's mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, interesting point as to the effect on costs.

In that case I would still suggest that there is no direct communication with the solicitor – but maybe informal notes can be sent – or better still, given to the parents

"Mum/dad I've just received a letter dated XXX from the solicitors asking about this. As you know, we've discussed this and my answer is blah blah blah…"

Of course you would take a copy of this letter each time you do this. I think that would be quite sufficient to show that you had been communicating and responding to solicitors letters – but it would keep the parents more directly involved and au fait with exactly what is going on and what they are causing.

I also think that it might be useful to end each letter with something like "as you know, we are having face-to-face dialogue about this all the time and I think it's a shame that your solicitor is writing letters to me"


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all

 

Happy New Year!

 

To update you, my parents advised their solicitor we are sorting this out between us. Its felt a very strange (more than usual) festive time, both parents have flu type things. Once they are feeling better we are going to talk it all through.

 

Thanks for all the support.

 

E!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the update on this.

I'm sure it has been very unpleasant.

Come back if you need any further help – on this or any other matter.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 Caggers

    No registered users viewing this page.


  • Have we helped you ...?


×
×
  • Create New...