Sis Caught Stealing in M+S

[meryjames]

hi

there im new here and am speaking on behalf of my big sister .

sorry for any mistake on writing

 

on 4 of this month my sister was shopping on m&s store .

she was with a buggy cus she have one year old baby .

 

she took some items and hide them on the buggy .

one of the staff member stopped her and asked her to show her her changing bag where she uses for babys staff and nappys .

she found some of the things that she hide in there .

 

she ws send to a small room with 2 men and one women.

she was crying and they asked her for the name and DOB and add .

she gave my add and they took a photo of her.

she's been crying since then she don't eat or go outside

im very upset as well cus we've been raised to be good people and not steal from others .

 

the items have been undamaged but she told me that she already took the tags off .

she is worried cus the value of the goods were 200 pound .

But the manager decited not to call the police … yeah I know very surprising .

she got a ban from any m&s store.

 

im scared now she's here with visa so I don't know what will happen next .

will they call police afterwords cus they are lots of money involved .

it has been more than a week now and she haven't received any letter or anything.

 

im sad as well cus she is very stressed and crying all day

.is any chance that the security have called the police to investigate further her case or any thing will happen to her .

 

please help thanks

 

sorry im new here and a don't know how to start my one threat

please help

Edited December 19, 2018 by dx100uk
merge

[dx100uk]

own thread created for you

 

nothing can happen now with the police/courts

 

she'll probably get scary letters from either RLP or DWF

you ignore all of them

 

nothing they can do

nothing can hurt her visa

 

might be best to get her to go see her GP p'haps?

 

dx

[silverfox1961]

Hi and welcome to CAG.

 

I got your PM but I am replying here.

 

Most importantly, there will be no trace of this for visa purposes. I haven't seen the visa forms but if they do ask if she has any convictions, the answer is NO! No police were called therefore no charges followed and no criminal court case will be be taken so no criminal record.

 

Yes there will be the letters from DWF but they are easily ignored. They are not as persistent as RLP so expect three or four letters from them and then nothing more. Tell her not to be worried by the fact DWF are a firm of solicitors. Civil recovery is a tiny part of what they do and I bet it will be on a no win - no fee basis so it is not worth their while chasing on and on.

 

What does need addressing is the stealing. Has she done this before and got away with it? Will she do it again? The aim of this part of the forum is to stop people stealing and find the cause which is best finding out from her GP. He or She will have heard this before and will be able to help even if it means a short course of anti depressants or a session with a counsellor. All this would be kept confidential.

 

In the meantime, talking without judgement to her will help in the short term. Stay away from M&S for a while.

[meryjames]

thanks for your reply she's going through a difficult time she have a one year baby and 1 mounth before she got cheated by her husband .since then she haven't been hereself and crying all day . I already booked here with a GP cus she told me the she have done it before as well in the same shop .that's way she is warried if the store gone investigate further for her

[meryjames]

any chance the police gone show up on her door and arresting her .she is ashamed and stressed as well.

[silverfox1961]

Personally I doubt it. M&S got the goods back and all they would have to do is re-tag them before putting them back on sale.

 

Most police services won't get involved where the cost of the goods are less than £200 but that should be done straight away rather than at a later time. I don't know enough about the police to know what they WILL do. Most companies use a civil recovery process rather than involve the police as detaining a suspected shoplifter can be time consuming as the police do not attend immediately.

 

The police need to have a chain of evidence to put to the Crown Prosecution Service and security staff are not always trained well enough to meet those demands.

 

I'm not saying the police won't get involved but I do feel it is unlikely. It all depends on what M&S decide to do. From reading other threads regarding M&S, the police have never attended so I would continue believing they won't turn up.

 

I'm glad she will be seeing a GP. There is always a reason behind choices people make. So long as she stops stealing we will be here to help wherever we can

[meryjames]

thanks a lot thay dident told her anything for a civil recovery letter or samething she have just a letter that says about the ban and nothing else.im confused because the value of the goods where quite high so I don't know.if she have the ban for 6 years does that mean that after 6years her name gone be deleted of its gonna stay on their recordes . I don't know she is 20 years and a don't wanna see her life turned up a mess after this .she have learned the lesson …

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

and this page have been so much help thank you so much for doing this

[dx100uk]

don't worry about the ban

give it a few month and they would have forgotten.

they don't use face recog anyway.

 

and no the police cannot be involved now

as said they got the stuff back

 

forget about it

go enjoy xmas

[meryjames]

thank you ,we will do , she was reading yesterday that a store have 2 years time to sue a shoplifter that's why , so maybe they go throw CCTV and look for her ,they keeped her personal jumper just because it was THE NAME OF THE STORE THERE . sorry for taking your time but this time have been so difficult for both of us ,and finding your page was a bless … thank you again

[dx100uk]

load of ole....

 

and they wouldn't bother going through CCTV either

costs too much money in operator wages that they'd never get back

cant go to court for that...

cant do court anyway as they've suffered no loss actual theft loss either..they got the items back.

 

forget about it.

 

dx

[silverfox1961]

load of ole....

 

and they wouldn't bother going through CCTV either

costs too much money in operator wages that they'd never get back

cant go to court for that...

cant do court anyway as they've suffered no loss actual theft loss either..they got the items back.

 

forget about it.

 

dx

 

This is a very important point made by DX. Store CCTV usually runs for 24 hours a day, even while the store is closed so they can get footage of any burglaries. Store security would have to scan through hundreds of hours of footage with no idea of a precise date or time so they won't do it. There is also the fact that most CCTV is either stored on a hard drive or written to a rewriteable DVD and after around 30 days the CCTV is overwritten so don't worry about the previous times.

 

As DX says 'forget about it' and just get your sister the help she needs

[Spudzulu]

Whilst I agree to forget about it, its’s not true about the access to CCTV. All they have to do with modern systems is input the time and date and in a matter of moments the staff will have the footage on the screen. I would be surprised if M&S do not have a high end system. My house system has this function and it cost 150. If M&S don’t have this function they deserve every thing they get.

[dx100uk]

but they don't know the other times she was in the store.

they've gotten the items back for this incident

 

end of.

[Spudzulu]

Like i said in my post, end of.

[dx100uk]

so how do they know the times she was in the store previously to be able to search and see what she did...still wasting more staff time.

[Spudzulu]

Apologies DX, just so you can understand, I will put it anotherway.

 

...although its not relevent to this case, modern systems are easy to scan through IF you know the time/date.

 

Better?

[dx100uk]

Its sometimes better to read a thread and understand that in this instance it might cause unnecessary anxiety to the OP.

[meryjames]

mornig dx and thank you . even if they go throw CCTV they cant find nothing cus whwn I asked my sis that day she was very stressed and colden't say anything but today she is more calm and when I asked her she says that she haven't done it before in that store

she was worried just for the jumper and her photo taken that day , I understand if its a life ban her info stays there forever ,but if she got a ban for 6 years does that mean that after 6 years here profile gonna be deleted or is gone still stay on their database .thank you again ,

Edited December 24, 2018 by meryjames

[silverfox1961]

That's good that there is nothing else to uncover.

 

A ban for life!! I doubt that within the next 12 months they will even recognise her. Don't even worry about a database. They are allowed to retain her details for as long as it is practicable but this doesn't mean 6 years. It could be less than a year. They won't be allowed to share the details to any other shop unless those other shops are members of a Shop/Store watch system where very strict data protection laws must be in place.

 

Even if your sister did enter M&S and they recognised her, all the security could do is escort her out and nothing else.

 

Keep this thread updated and we'll see what happens in the next few weeks. Enjoy Christmas if you can.

[dx100uk]

12 days more like it!!

[meryjames]

Hi again,

hope you all have a happy new year..

 

I wanna keep you updated

 

it’s been more than a month now since the incident happened and no letter or anything.

 

She is coming next week to live with me in London ,

the store where she was caught is in Birmingham ,

 

does she need to call the store now to tell them to change the add of the house if any letter will come throw post ?

 

Just because all the threads are low value, and her case is 100+ is more scary to know that the police may be involved or the store may sue her , thanks again

Edited January 2, 2019 by dx100uk
spacing

[silverfox1961]

Hi

No! No need to give out a new address as that would be inviting possible trouble. As it has been more than a month between then and now, I would suggest that there is no case been referred for any civil recovery to happen. That is good.

 

Even if they did write, it will be to the old address and your sister will know nothing about it. Best keep it that way.

[meryjames]

Hi , and thank you so much for helping my sister

.even that she have 1 month without sleeping properly stressed,

and scared every time she listen a police car ,

 

the incident have taught her that no Matter what ,

not to do it again so that’s the good side of the story .

 

I hope that everyone reading this thread understands that she made a bad choice and she regret it every min since then,

 

please don’t take things that are not your property,

cus nothing is more important than your integrity and your good name .

 

Thank you again and keep going ,

 

in the end of the day I do believe that everyone deserves a second chance...

Edited January 3, 2019 by dx100uk
spacing

[dx100uk]

being really stupid to even think the police would EVER be involved

[silverfox1961]

Hi

Your sister has learned a very valuable lesson. Choices have consequences!

 

In this case, the consequence is the feelings that she has which, over time, will lessen but the bigger consequence is the vow not to do it again. That is what we are aiming for. Not to punish but to understand reasons why people do things and (hopefully) help for the future.

 

I wish her the best of luck getting over this bad choice.