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Gazpacho64

One guy working in a all female office

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Maybe a bit of a strange one, but any help or advice would be very much appreciated and received ....

six weeks ago my employer moved me from an office where there was a good mix of male and female employees to an office where I am the only male with six other females.

I did not have any concerns or issues with this and actually thought it could be a positive experience, but as the weeks have gone by it has become a serious worry to my sanity and health.

I feel uncomfortable in this environment, I am excluded or have little interest in the majority of the daily conversations and feel that it is really difficult to engage. The dynamics just do not work. I have gone from a confident and happy at work person to someone who hates waking up each morning to go into the office.

 

It may sound like a minor situation and it is difficult to actually explain what the problem in. I get on with all of them, we have the occasional laugh, but it just does not feel right.

 

I need to speak with my employer to try and raise the issue without sounding stupid. I have no idea if they will take my problems seriously and what the outcome maybe, but I need to take some action before I completely lose it and just go on very long term sick leave.

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It may sound like a minor situation and it is difficult to actually explain what the problem in. I get on with all of them, we have the occasional laugh, but it just does not feel right.

 

I need to speak with my employer to try and raise the issue without sounding stupid. I have no idea if they will take my problems seriously and what the outcome maybe, but I need to take some action before I completely lose it and just go on very long term sick leave.

 

If you are not married or in a relationship, perhaps best approach is to chat one of them up and ask them out for a drink.

 

If they accept, then see how it goes. It might cause issues if you are seeing one of the women, leading to a move. If they reject your invite, then they might feel uncomfortable about the situation and you would have good reason to ask to move.

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained ;)


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If you are not married or in a relationship, perhaps best approach is to chat one of them up and ask them out for a drink.

 

Not a good idea in the long term to mix work and pleasure in my experience. Keep your private life separate from work life.


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I am married ....... I get on with them all, there are no personal issues. Its the work environment, just does not feel comfortable being a lone male in an office with six females.

Its difficult to explain. I think the long term sick and search for alternative employment is the way to go. My employer will probably just take the p!$$ if I approach them with this

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Tell your manager that you feel under pressure for all the women looking at your bum and being over attentive when you walk about and bend over.

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I think the long term sick and search for alternative employment is the way to go.

 

What illness or medical condition have you got then?

 

 

Women have had to work in mostly male departments since time immemorial and put up with feeling "uncomfortable" and "...excluded or hav[ing] little interest in the majority of the daily conversations and feel[ing] that it is really difficult to engage...". Women just get on with the job and don't treat work as if it also ought to be a social club. Why don't you do the same?

 

 

You'll gather I have little sympathy for your non-problem. Sorry.

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When I worked in an all female office many moons ago I started being interested in gossips, shoes and handbags.

My wife to these days still says that I was a better partner then.

I guess I must have unlocked something which made me more attractive and sensible to the better gender.

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so they are doing nothing untoward, they are friendly and so forth so the problem must be you.

I would have a stab at this makes you feel as though you have now been demoted because all of the women are doing the same as you or are somehow emasculated by doing what is clearly womens work otherwise there would be more men there.

Many years ago I worked in a place where I was the only man in the section and faced a lot of ribald comments but is was work and we did our jobs and the comments were made in fun but others who had to pass through couldnt hack it. You dont have this so just get on with your job and stop overthinking things. You could ask to be considered for a transfer back you your old office if a position becomes available but I see nothing that you can complain about.

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Women have had decades of this. Maybe keep quiet until you can articulate what you would like to change. At the moment it sounds like they are just not enough “like you”. Which suggests you want the wrong people to change....


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Edited to delete my actual thoughts. Deaf ears etc.


Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

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I have possibly missed something real, and this is a wind up...

 

But if it's real, women having decades of it is no excuse...

 

That said... It's work. Do your job. You don't need social affirmation to do your job. And needing to go off sick is way beyond unreasonable.

 

I am deeply concerned about people who think shoes and handbags are what women need to talk about..

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Ask them about their coping techniques for listening to talk about football and Call of Duty all day in previous jobs. Some will enjoy those topics, others won’t.


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Life is too short to be unhappy at work. It sounds like you should start searching for another job which suits you better. When you find one it is best to politely resign, work your notice and leave on good terms.

 

It sounds like you do not enjoy the environment or feel that you have a lot in common with your colleagues. This is understandable. But it is also impossible for the employer to fix. You can't exactly tell the employer to hire more men, and the employer can't control what people talk about in their daily conversations.

 

Going on long term sick leave sounds like a very bad idea. If you are not genuinely sick, then going on long term sick leave is fraud. It also makes it more difficult to find another job or get a good reference.


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