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PPC at it again!

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Car parking fine firm, Double Yellow, contracted by Leicester City Council, has stoically defended its decision to fine King Richard III, the princely sum of £10, 000, 000, including royalties, for a 533-year overstay in a city centre car park.

 

Poor signage, unfair terms and conditions, scaremongering, intimidation and bullying are just some of the ruthless tactics used by cowboy car parking firms in the past.

 

But now, Double Yellow has taken an unprecedented step, employing mitochondrial DNA to trace descendants of the Kings maternal line, subsequently locating living relatives of his eldest Sister, Anne of York. Several of the monarch's 14th Cousins have now all been issued with tickets.

 

"Preposterous...extortionate...and unjust," exclaimed Mary Delaney, of the Richard III Appreciation Society, "more so, because Richard was disabled, as everyone knows".

 

"Don't recall a disabled badge being found during the exhumation", replied Chief Executive, Henry MacSeventh, speaking from headquarters at Tudor House. "Rules are rules, even for Rulers... and as Kings go, he was strictly B list...he was only on the throne for a couple of years...a rather under par...King... who overstayed his parking...if you pardon the pun".

 

Enraged by this belligerent and sarcastic intransigence, Mary Delaney has vowed to take the fight to the highest court in the land.

"We won't take this lying down", she vehemently promised.

 

"Unlike Richard, then", retorted Mr MacSeventh. "Let battle commence...and let us hope they have better luck than little Dick had at Bosworth".

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