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Help needed with my ex partner and house

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Hi everyone, firstl, apologies if ive posted this in the wrong place.


Im in desperate need of some advice/help, I lost my mum, brother and dad in the last 3yrs, last year I found my fiancé of 23yrs was having an affair, he left and said I could keep the house ( joint mortgage).


I had a breakdown after he announced earlier this year he now wants me to buy him out.


I paid the mortgage and utilities over the last ten years and I have sought advice to be told theres absoloutely nothing I can do.

Im struggling to remortgage to pay him what he wants and now have been told he can get a court order to make me sell.


Does anyone have anything that I can look into please.

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I expect that it is right that he could eventually force you to sell, but how much of the house does he apparently own? He certainly wouldn't be entitled to benefit from all the mortgage repayments et cetera which you have put into the property and I think this would be taken into account when dividing it – even though you are not married.


I think you need to tell us a bit more about the mortgage, how old it is, what have been your relative contributions. Who did you go to for advice?

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he bought the house with his 2nd wife 1983 she left him and transferred the deeds to him.


I moved in 1993 and we put the mortgage in joint names, soon after he got into debt with his business so took out a remortgage again joint names.

He then got into trouble with the taxman so another remortgage to pay his tax bill and a charging order.


house was valued at £120k minus current mortgage of £30k = £90k = his entitlement of whats left £45k.


I have statements to prove Ive paid all mortgage payments and utilities ( all via direct debit) going back 10 years and have helped him out with his business money wise.


It was a local solicitor that told me basically it all means nothing the fact Ive kept the house going and that I have benefitted from living there? even though hes had all my statements and proof of payments, nothing has been submitted to the other party to argue his entitlement.


I offered him £30k beginning of the year as was going to get a loan, his solicitor rejected the offer.


Thanks so much for replying.

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his solicitor on behalf of him (instructed) to reject offer, this is how they work to try and frustrate you into giving in (the dirty so called legal trade)

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Just curious


How did you arrive at the £30k offer?


Did you show your calculations to the solicitor?


What counteroffer did the other side make?


Did they present their calculation?


If they did, did you illustrate to them why their offer was unreasonable?


I take it that you are a Litigant in Person


Keep pointing out that fact to the other side's solicitor


The solicitor would definitely ignore you but that would aid you if it comes before a Judge.

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Ive said for 2 years that the figure was unreasonable as Ive paid so much towards the house, but kept getting the same reply from my solicitor that 'ive benefitted from living here' and what ever Ive paid means nothing.



The £45000 was calculated based on a sale of the house and what would be left split equally.



I offered the £30000 cause I'm tired of fighting and didn't agree with the £45000 but was rejected.



I feel ive been let down completely by my solicitor and now face loosing my house, while hes getting a cash payout and living with his new family in a house of their own.

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Ive said for 2 years that the figure was unreasonable as Ive paid so much towards the house, but kept getting the same reply from my solicitor that 'ive benefitted from living here' and what ever Ive paid means nothing.



The £45000 was calculated based on a sale of the house and what would be left split equally.



I offered the £30000 cause I'm tired of fighting and didn't agree with the £45000 but was rejected.



I feel ive been let down completely by my solicitor and now face loosing my house, while hes getting a cash payout and living with his new family in a house of their own.


My suggestion is that you write to the Lawyer and ask him to point to any case law that supports his position


He would definitely refuse so you point out that volunteering such information could prevent the case from going to Trial


Finally, if you feel that your solicitor is letting you down why not change him


I believe he should be the one pointing out the relevant case laws


You also need to do some research yourself



Good luck

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Sorry to hear about all that has happened.


If you are feeling let down by your solicitor, you could try speaking to another one to get a second opinion? I suppose the key legal question is whether the payments you made to the mortgage would give you a bigger share than 50/50.


If you don't want to raise your offer, you could just stick to the £30k for now and sit tight. .


If he wants to move the situation forward, he would need to apply to court for an 'order for sale'. This would be expensive for him to do. It would also be a time consuming process - there are many hurdles to jump through (and opportunities to settle) before a court order gets issued. It sounds like you have quite a lot of leverage simply due to the fact that the ball is in his court and he doesn't have the money.




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It's correct to say that you have benefited from living there, but I think you need to calculate exactly what that benefit means. What is the rental value of the property? How much money have you spent on maintaining the property and keeping it in good repair?


Did the solicitor who gave you the advice ask you any of these questions?


Incidentally I notice that you seem to be saying that the solicitor you went to is a man. I think you would be much better off finding a female solicitor – and maybe one with a touch of feminist anger about. I think you need someone who is prepared to fight your corner and to be a bit feisty. Unfortunately, most solicitors simply prefer to handle the papers and then put in their invoice.


Ordinary high street solicitors by and large are a dead loss.

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thank you all for your replies, its much appreciated x


yes, but why don't you start laying out some of the cost and some of the benefits so that we can start to calculate in the cold light of day what the figures really mean.


You should take all the costs which you have incurred including mortgage payments, maintenance of the house, et cetera and then deduct the rental value.

You also need to calculate what his input has been.


I understand that you have had a joint mortgage and it seems to me from your opening post that you are saying that you paid the entire mortgage over the last 10 years – is this correct? What has your ex-partner's contribution been over those years?


If it is correct that you have been paying all of the mortgage for 10 years then unless your ex-partner has been making very substantial contributions in terms of house maintenance/repairs et cetera, I find it extremely difficult to believe that you are entitled only to 50%.


You really ought to start laying it all down here. It will make you feel a lot better when you have done this exercise because you will have a much better picture of who is entitled to what. I find the advice which you are receiving from this solicitor that there is nothing to be done other than to give up 50% of the value is simplistic.

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He bought the house for £30,000.00 with his 2nd wife, they split and she signed it over to him 1995, we remortgaged in joint names 1999, he was paying|£188.00 per month then, until the payments started to get into arrears, which he didn't tell me about.



From Aug 2010 - Jun 2018 I have paid £66,800.00 for all mortgage payments and all utilities plus new windows ( have all the statements),



The mortgage inludes 2 x remortgages - 1 to clear his business overdraft and arrears on mortgage and his credit cards and 1 to pay the Inland Revenue for his business.


He hasn't paid any of the above, he would pay for bread, milk any 'bits' of shopping, I would pay for the 'Big shop'.



Hes always been rubbish with money, which is why I paid for everything house wise, he was trying to keep his business afloat!



The mortgage is £390.00 per month, no idea on rental costs, prob around £500 mark, I'm quite rural.

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