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WarrenBuffet

Death, estranged family and mother/widow in need of full time care.

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Please bear with me and I will try to be as succinct as possible.

 

My father recently passed, he was in conflict with half of his children and iif im honest the only reason I kept in contact was my mother. My father had been successful in his life and amassed considerable wealth from his businesses and property portfolio. My mother is in need of full time care due to a neurological condition that is rapidly taking her from her misery.

 

My family is relatively large with six siblings, all very strong minded and in constant conflict and already the nonsense after death has begun.

 

My father was buried on the friday and on the following Monday there was a private will reading among three family members and my mother and the other three siblings were excluded. I returned to work on monday, thankful to be away from the mess and being the youngest was not one of the chosen tree. I always told my father that money is not a motivating factor for me as I never saw him happy one day in my life. I have to deal with my other two siblings who are stating that my fathers office has been turned upside down and all kinds of paintings and antiques have disappeared. My brother who is not in the chosen group arrived to visit my mother yesterday evening to find the front door lock to the house changed and upon getting into mothers house found several rooms under new locks and key having never been locked before.

 

After heated exchange the reason given was that apparently the Carer's who look after my mother are the reason why locks have been changed and the reason behind paintings etc, going missing!??t..thhen asked have the Police been contacted and was told that "It's being dealt with."!!??

 

So, now that I have given a background, I will ask a few questions seeking advice.My concern is my mother, her medical condition has a huge impact upon her speech to the extent that I cannot understand her.Some days she is good but since the funeral has been totally incomprehensible. My mother is on all kinds of medication and some just makes her a zombie which is how she comes across to me.

 

My mother is very old school and rather than setting her up a pension, his businesses and investments see that she receives cash on a weekly basis and the house bills are seen to.

It now transpires that her weekly payments are no longer given to her, one of my sisters takes the money and apparently does her shopping and she has no money when her carer takes her to get her hair appointment on a weekly basis(Treat). My mother developed a sweet tooth when she retired and is now denied even a chocolate biscuit with her tea which is rationed to three times a day.

 

On the thursday after the funeral, my sister arrived at the house to see a woman standing over my mother with a form that one might argue my mum was being forced to sign. It now transpires that my mother has been signed into a nursing home in the near future.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read and I apologise for washing my family's dirty laundry in public, but this is affecting my sleep and health and cannot think straight as to what I should do.

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Hi Warren. My condolences about your Dad.

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's very sad what a death can do to a family.

 

Do you know who wants to put your mother into a home? I could be wrong, but I would imagine your father's estate would be expected to pay for her care.

 

Does she have a social worker?

 

HB


Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

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Hi HB,

 

That was my thinking too as regards her estate, but if I ask any questions I am immediately shut down.

 

I know it is the three that were at the private will reading as the other three siblings of which I am one do not want to go anywhere near while they are there. In trying to speak to my mum she can't really speak and she can no longer write either, so each of the conflicting sides has their own version of events. My mother requires 24/7 care now and I have quckly inthe space oftwo years lose her driving licence to now being unable to go to the bathroom.

 

She has all kinds of visitors daily as regards her health and needs but one sister makes the decisions for her, ie manipulates her. Its an awful situation and I try to keep out, but am drawn in by other siblings.

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I still wonder if it would help if your mother had a social worker. I made decisions for my mother when she was no longer capable and there was a power of attorney, but we still had a social worker.

 

HB


Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

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Thanks HB, I will start enquiries tomorrow.

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