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shoplifting at Tesco, Police called, no papers signed, banned from store

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Thanks for all your responses. Will update with any further developments.

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they wont have any CCTV evidence

so put itoutta your head.

 

I suspect you'll hear nothing more on this

apart fro the stupid letters from DWF

which you can read about here in other Tesco threads.

 

whatever you do

you do not pay anyone anything.

 

dx


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Thank you immensely for your reply. I do hope this ends here. The DWP will be another nightmare. Right now, I so hope this police/security scare ends.

I have been very very stupid and never again.

Can't thank you people enough.

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Nope. All tesco guards are contracted apart from a very tiny amount of stores.

 

Mainly true, but all larger stores still have a Security Manager under whose guidance the guards operate

 

Tesco will take no further action in this or any previous matters. It is done with and will have been passed to DWF, although if the case was made that there is a mental health aspect, this may not have even happened as there are clear instructions around who can and who should not be issued with Civil Recovery. That may even be why a charitable donation was suggested - as an alternative to CR. Were you given details of any Civil Recovery scheme before you left?

 

A ban issued by the store will only ever be verbal. Head Office may issue a written ban but this is for exceptional cases


Any advice given is done so on the assumption that recipients will also take professional advice where appropriate.

 

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Thank you.

That's some relief if Tesco are done with me.

I hope the police are done too and my nightmare comes to pass.

 

I was not told anything about any Civil Recovery Scheme.

It's only when I came on this forum and read several threads did I know that they have such things as RLP and DWF.

 

I told the security woman and policeman about my troubles.

The policeman asked about medications and I told him.

however I did not say that I was mentally ill or anything.

I don't know if I am.

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I must be, as I cannot think why would I do it if I were sane.

I've been a long term user of anti depressants and sleeping pills.

Can't remember the last time I have slept without a pill.

And now, I am going through sheer hell.

 

 

The nights are worse.

Last night I have been waking up all sweaty with a thudding heart

. Very scared, hope I don't end up in a loony bin.

 

 

My child's illhealth has completely shattered me.

Still can't understand why I went shoplifting? It's killing me.

 

Sorry for burdening you guys with my sob story especially as I have done something very wrong. But dn't I get a chance to redeem myself?

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You redeem yourself by getting the help you deserve and need.

 

Please put this episode behind you. Not in a "it doesn't matter" way, but in a "it is done, and can't be undone BUT the police have already been involved and aren't taking any further action" way.

So, you can't turn back time but you can use what has happened as a spur to seeking help.

 

If you need to speak to someone today (rather than posting online / reading things online), consider calling the Samaritan's on 116 123

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

 

You seem concerned that you'll be embarrassed visiting your GP : the Samaritans will offer a way of speaking to someone won't know who is calling, so you don't have to be embarrassed.

 

Then, tomorrow, when your GP surgery re-opens, consider making an urgent appointment. You don't have to tell the receptionist details, but stress that something has happened and you are worried you aren't on the right medicines (or the right dose if they are the right medicines).

Although you are worried about being embarrassed : your GP will have heard similar (& much worse!!) before. They won't judge you, and if they hear how this has affected you will want to help you use it for what it is : a good person in a bad situation needing more (or different) help.

 

So, please, consider going to see your GP, and consider if it is better to tell them the truth, and the whole truth : if you are feeling bad about what has happened, that isn't the reaction of a bad Person, but if someone who needs help. You deserve to get that help, but I'm afraid that means helping yourself by seeking it, and getting over the fear of embarrassment.

 

I bet that you'll find it was fear of embarrassment, and whilst I can't promise you won't feel embarrassed, I can reassure you that your GP won't see you as a bad person, and instead they'll be glad that you've been able to tell them, so they can help you / get you more help.

 

"Loony bins" are for people who are a danger to themselves or others, and even then only the most serious cases (that can't be managed in the community) get admitted against their will, so I doubt that should be concerning you.

 

Mental health problems are very common, and aren't anything to be embarrassed about.

MIND, the mental health charity, estimate that 1 in 4 people will suffer from some sort of mental health problem at some stage if their life.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/mental-health-problems-introduction/#.WU-N64XTWEc

 

MIND are another source of advice

https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/finding-out-what-support-is-out-there/

but I bet they'd say "see your GP"

 

I hope you find someone to talk to (even if that isn't your husband st this stage, but could you tell them once you are dealing with the situation by getting more help?), and that you get some help so you don't have to go through this alone unnecessarily.

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Thank you BazzaS or your kindness and compassion. Berating myself as I can't imagine I have turned into this person.

But I will try to go and see my GP tomorrow and request him to refer me for counselling. Can't imagine how I will come clean about this event but have to try.

I just hope I am able to wake up from this nightmare.

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You come clean in counselling. Nobody else will know about it.


Any advice i give is my own and is based solely on personal experience. If in any doubt about a situation , please contact a certified legal representative or debt counsellor..

 

 

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You come clean in counselling. Nobody else will know about it.

 

Thank you.

I hope the police don't turn up to take this incident further or charge me for the earlier shoplifting I've done.

Then there would be no point in getting counselling anyway.

 

I know I've been evil and it serves me right.

 

And I am one of the chosen people who misfortune visits quite frequently.

I am beyond scared, begging to be let off. I just couldn't live with being convicted.

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They wont. It's doubtful they will do anything tbh. They could, but dont worry yourself about it.

 

Then there would be no point in getting counselling or living anyway.

 

Why? The actual punishment for shoplifting now is laughable. pretty much no court will bother with it unless its an extreme case. Theyd rather a community resolution order as they see normal shoplifting cases as wasting courts time.

 

Thats why supermarkets got conned with the likes of RLP.

 

The most youll likely get if it ever went anywhere near court is prob a small fine, and an unconditional discharge. If that.

 

But again, stop worrying. It's unlikely to ever happen. ANd if it does, the courts are obliged to take your medical condition into serious consideration.


Any advice i give is my own and is based solely on personal experience. If in any doubt about a situation , please contact a certified legal representative or debt counsellor..

 

 

If my advice helps you, click the star icon at the bottom of my post and feel free to say thanks

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Hello there.

 

To echo what the others have said, please get your GP to find you someone to talk to, it should help you a lot.

 

Hugs, HB


Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

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Do fine and unconditional discharge end in a criminal record?

I suppose anything that reaches a court would be a criminal record?

 

Trying to imagine and failing.

 

 

What is the worst that can happen.

There's my son to think of if I am not around.

How mad and irresponsible I have been.

 

Do you think if I don't hear from the Police for a week, I won't hear from them.

 

 

I haven't been out of my house in the last two days.

The donation has obviously not been paid.

The policeman will find out that I haven't pai will he turn at my house?

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He did say that may be paperwork to do and he took my mobile number to call me. And Tesco already have a copy of my driving licence.

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Hello there.

 

To echo what the others have said, please get your GP to find you someone to talk to, it should help you a lot.

 

Hugs, HB

Thank you HB. I will call my surgery tomorrow. Very scared about the police and associated criminal record.

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Hi

You seem to have had excellent advice from other posters.

My position is this:

Don't give a donation to tesco. Donate it to a local cause if you feel you must. Tesco don't need a donation.

 

GP. Absolutely! Be open and honest no matter how it will make you feel. The GP needs to know all to give the best treatment. I suspect that you have bottled up these feelings and feel isolated with no-one to talk to. Counselling is brilliant (if you get the right counsellor) I have had issues in my past where I was unable to talk to anyone about. The counsellor will keep everything confidential (unless there is a very serious risk of harm-which I doubt in this case). My counsellor helped me get a new perspective on life in general and my specific issues.

 

From reading your first post, I'm not even sure that DWF will be involved. DWF took over the role of sending begging letters earlier this year but if anyone says either RLP or DWF, the rules are still the same. Ignore!

 

You mentioned that you and your husband are in a 'fractious' relationship and this is my worry. Obviously you do not want to tell him about this incident but if DWF do get involved, there will be letters addressed to your home. IF you get a letter, please come back and we can give you some more advice.

 

You will have noticed that nobody has criticised you for the shoplifting. This is deliberate. We on CAG believe that two wrongs do not make a right. As such, we never condone shoplifting as it is wrong but sending out letters demanding fixed sums is worse.

 

Good luck


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Thank you Silverfox.

I greatly appreciate that

I haven't been criticised for my misdeed though I know I deserve it.

And whatever my reasons be I know that what I have done is wrong and there can be no excuse for it.

 

 

the fact is I have gone and done it.

I have been on anti-depressants and sleeping pills for a long time now.

I also dont need what I stole.

It's just that I had this roaring in my head to take it.

Not tying to justify but that is the fact.

Being caught was scary but in a way good for me.

Nothing will ever make me repeat it.

 

The problem is my husband does not believe in people being depressed or having mental issues.

He thinks you accept what is and get on with life.

 

 

Unfortunately, with one misfortune topping the other (son's MD was the last straw) I am unable to be normal and medication doesn't seem to be helping.

 

after another night of fitful sleep,

I have been waiting with my eyes and ears tuned to the door for the policeman to turn up.

 

 

I haven't received any call from him yet.

And I haven't paid the donation so they can still come after me.

The policeman had mentioned some paper work which needs to be done too.

 

Couldn't go to the GP today as husband is at home;

can't risk the policeman turning up while I am at the surgery!

 

 

There is after all the earlier incident too that Tesco know of.

They might be looking at the CCTV footage and give to the policeman.

 

And then there will be the DWF.

If they send so many letters and my husband comes to know..

....I dread to go there.

 

 

Life couldn't be messier.

I am responsible for this I know.

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the police are arent to turn up unannouced at your house, they are far too busy.

 

 

In their books this matter is a solved crime,

a tick in a box and no further action if it ever reached the threshold to need a box ticking.

In truth they are unlikely to take the matter further .

 

As for antidepressants and the like,

they work for about half the population and not the other half.

 

 

Speak to your doctor about other therapies,

there will be a long waiting list

but probably better than no human intervention and some pills.

 

 

Keep away from Tesco's and tell yourself you are better than this and take long walks and talk to yourself (not out loud of sourse) about the good and bad bits of what is going on.

 

 

Half an hour a day walking not only helps clear the mind it is brilliant for the body as well.

Go at a pace that is quick enough to make you feel like you are having to work at it but not so quick you get worn out by it.

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I have been to see my GP today. He has increased the dosage of my anti-depressants and changed changed my sleek medication, Told him about the incident (dies a thousand deaths) and still feeling very anxious.

Haven't got a call from the policeman yet.

The GP said I might like to go on a holiday or get some change of place so. I told him I might plan to go visit my family in the US. However, now I am back home and thinking about it. Will it cause problem while applying for the US visa waiver programme? This is now a new scare for me and is driving me mad with worry. What do you advise?

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cant hurt visa at all

forget about it now

nothing more can or will happen

bar stupid letters that you ignore from DWF.

 

 

go get on with getting better and enjoy your life


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the police are arent to turn up unannouced at your house, they are far too busy.

 

 

In their books this matter is a solved crime,

a tick in a box and no further action if it ever reached the threshold to need a box ticking.

In truth they are unlikely to take the matter further .

 

As for antidepressants and the like,

they work for about half the population and not the other half.

 

 

Speak to your doctor about other therapies,

there will be a long waiting list

but probably better than no human intervention and some pills.

 

 

Keep away from Tesco's and tell yourself you are better than this and take long walks and talk to yourself (not out loud of sourse) about the good and bad bits of what is going on.

 

 

Half an hour a day walking not only helps clear the mind it is brilliant for the body as well.

Go at a pace that is quick enough to make you feel like you are having to work at it but not so quick you get worn out by it.

 

Thank you. I will try to get out and go for walks. Right now, it is impossible to get out, I feel so down and dirty.

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cant hurt visa at all

forget about it now

nothing more can or will happen

bar stupid letters that you ignore from DWF.

 

 

go get on with getting better and enjoy your life

 

Thanks. Problem is I don't know what happened with the police. Was it a 'caution' or 'community resolution' (new names for me , I have been reading on the internet. I also read that on ESTA for Us visa, you have to declare any criminal record. Then it's a doand be damned and don't and still be damned. Do you think what has happened has got me a record.

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its neither

and it wont happen now.

you say nowt about it to anyone or on anything to do any with visa.

 

 

'community resolution'

was what I mentioned at the earlier

 

 

in some areas we've seen that the police there and then

get the alleged shoplifter to 'make a donation' in goodwill.

 

 

its nothing to do with the police though and nothing is recorded anywhere.

 

 

the most important post in this thread is post 30 from sidewinder

go read it again.

 

 

I can tell you that person knows 100% what they are on about .

 

 

nuff said

forget about it

go enjoy your life and get better.


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Thank you so much dx100uk.

This is such a relief.

You are all so kind here not to have judged me and criticised me.

 

My GP is referring me for counselling. I hope I come out of this.

 

So, if I don't hear from the police until the end of this week, I can hope I won't hear from them.

 

It will now be DWF to manage now.

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