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jcbkabs

wife has run up over £25k of unsecured debt!

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yes they've sent another letter not replied to cya request

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shame for them.:lol:


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So this catalogue company have suddenly realised following a phone call, that a large debt on two accounts has been built up and they don't have a signed CCA ?

 

This does not mean that the debt does not exist, but they have not managed to get the CCA back to enforce the debt using the CCA.

 

Presumably if the debt was defaulted on, they can still go to court, but it won't just follow the standard particulars of claim ?


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not phoned them they want wife to phone them that won't be happening she's not in the right frame of mind.

 

what do i send back to theses i would prefer to offer a one off full and final payment so that i can get her back to were she is back in control i know this is a long way off but. i'll help her as best as i can

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I would not be offering them a penny without the agreement being in place, legally they are up the proverbial without. Jcbkabs I would hold back on any full & final as you need to paint a picture first, I understand that you wish to bury and move on with your life, but its much more like a game of poker and you have the better hand.

 

 

Ps: Don't forget to look after yourself as well. ;)

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when did your mrs take the cat debts out?


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hi had two letters back first one saying

 

immediate action required

dear

we need to speak to you urgently about your account. Please call *********** immediately to prevent recovery Action taking place.

 

 

yours sincerely

 

 

Account Recovery Department

 

2nd Letter from a different company

 

Dear

Our records show that we have not received your signed credit agreement. As you are spreading your payment, we assume you have signed the agreement but forgotten to return it to us. if you could please return your signed agreement in the envelope enclosed it would be appreciated. we have also enclosed another copy of the agreement in case you have misplaced the copy that you have signed.

 

 

 

yours sincerely

 

Amborose wilson customer services

 

You could send these letters back with a covering letter stating that due to a current health situation, it is not possible for the account holder to become involved in communications and no current power of attorney is held.

 

Ask them to send a full letter explaining why they have found need to write to the account holder, so that relevant advice may be obtained about this. Also whatever issue they may have, can they allow more time so that it is possible to see the best way forward.

 

You don't have to explain the situation and just be vague. But it might stop them phoning or sending letters for a short period and will give a bit of time to think about the situation.


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when did your mrs take the cat debts out?

the credit cards she's had the 1 for over then years and the other for 16 years always paid off what she spent on them it until this incident happened. the catalogs have all been taken out just after this incident.

 

both overdrafts have been increased with out my knowledge both use to be £500 but not been used in over 6 years.

 

I'm looking for a good letter to send back to them theres no way i can pay them the full amount.

back to doctors next Wednesday had a bad few days tablets not working I've been away all week just come home and it not my wife in front of me she looks like a stranger. my son is worried sick now as well.

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Are you indicating some of these debts are 6yrs without use?


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I've read the whole thread and can't find the vital bit of information as to which debts are yours as distinct from your wife's.

 

This needs to be the starting point.

 

If you don't look after yourself in this you will be ill and nothing will be resolved.

 

Might I suggest Debtors Anonymous or Gamblers Anonymous for your wife if she is willing to go but it needs to be her decision.

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Only the car and the over 2 of the over drafts are in my name

She's now on the waiting list to see a councillor

 

But I think she may have take out other door step loans and not told me

 

I'm thinking I could easily leave and set up home on my own I've never lied to here or taken on debt with out telling here, feel very low to night just checked here credit file she doesn't know yet she won't be happy.

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Jcbkabs you will get through this,

 

 

your wife is ill and needs you more than ever.

 

 

She is im afraid to say going to have to go bankrupt, you can then control her spending.

 

I feel for you mate.

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Jcbkabs you will get through this, your wife is ill and needs you more than ever. She is im afraid to say going to have to go bankrupt, you can then control her spending.

 

I feel for you mate.

 

Not necessarily at all, we dont know the full details yet.


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Hi

I have only just seen this thread but maybe I can make a few comments from experience

 

You seem to feel this spiral was triggered by a serious life event- this needs addressing before anything else

 

IMO addiction is an illness and without treating that , any work you do on the debts may be ultimately pointless

 

There is no need to spend money getting a power of attorney however there is nothing stopping your wife authorising you to deal with her debts

 

You say the credit cards are from roughly 2000 and 2006 , that might be a get of of debt free card - a CCA request to each would help see what the situation was although some people argue that CCA requests should not be sent until the debt has been sold on.

 

I noticed that a catalogue company had no signed agreement, sadly that does not necessarily mean that there is no liability, depends when the account was opened.

 

I would be looking at blocking gambling sites on the internet and definitely as suggested lowering the weekly limit that can be spent. Once i dropped my Lotto limit to £5 a week I have not used it as it just has not been worthwhile ( or at least thats how I feel about it)

 

GA does not work for everyone as it basically follows the 12 step program of AA however

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/frontline-services/helpline

 

Gamcare may be able to offer some support

 

I wish you and your wife well , your support will be invaluable


Any opinion I give is from personal experience .

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I've sent CCA just waiting for those to come back.

 

 

I think there's other issues.

 

 

I can afford for her to go bankrupt if it going to affect my finances as just I talk for two large contract starting new year but I'm going to need finance for assets and I don't want to lose the family home.

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There is a vast amount of research which shows the futility of trying to control an addict's behaviour.

 

Whether or not the behaviour is triggered by a traumatic event what matters now is to stop the behaviour.

 

Whether or not addictions are calasified as illnesses does not help either.

 

Having a power of attorney will not help if an addict continues their behaviour as they are likely to do. You can no more control your wife's spending or gambling than you could control an alcoholic drinking.

 

You do need to look after yourself in this or you too will be in a mess and your wife will be no better. I suggest you might read up on co-dependancy.

 

The 12 step fellowships DA and GA do provide a way forward for many, not all, people and might for your wife if she is willing to try

 

Wishing you well in all of this.

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I've sent CCA just waiting for those to come back. I think there's other issues. I can afford for here to go bankrupt if it going to affect my finances as just I talk for two large contract starting ing new year but I'm going to need finance for assets and I don't want to lose the family home.

 

you wont be going bk and you wont be losing the home.

 

I wish some people would have a little 'think' about what they write on some threads...


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Whether or not the behaviour is triggered by a traumatic event what matters now is to stop the behaviour.

 

Whether or not addictions are calasified as illnesses does not help either.

 

 

I don't disagree, but if there was a traumatic trigger i.e. a miscarriage CAN affect if e.g. counseling and / or anti-depressants (or other 'medical' therapy) is likely to be a major factor in stopping the behaviour

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in the 19 years we have been married and the seven years before we got married she has always been the sensible one

putting money aside for a rainy day, and has always been in control,

 

her credit file didn't show on missed payment

always paid on the date even with the utility bills she would alway pay on depict of the first bill

 

me on the other hand i would wait for the red letter.

so having checked her credit file this has all started

after the miscarriage which isn't the first i might add

but it seems to have triggered something.

 

she's always been my rock

now she's a mess doesn't even care about her appearance.

she would even go into the back garden before in her dressing gown

 

found her this morning out the front talking to a neighbour and a postally in her dressing gown

 

her character has changed

we would watch only fools and horse and laugh at it together

but watching it earlier today and she didn't even smile.

 

just waiting on the appointment which I've been told is a short wing list.

 

if she goes bankrupt will my home be taken as its in joint names?

 

also have a buy to lets which are in joint names all mortgages

(bought as a pensions fund for our retirement) are up to date would these have to be sold if she goes bankrupt?

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You REALLY need to stop talking about bankruptcy and everything similar, calm down and start reading the advice youve been given.

 

Youre jumping the gun in a massive way and its causing you more stress.


Any advice i give is my own and is based solely on personal experience. If in any doubt about a situation , please contact a certified legal representative or debt counsellor..

 

 

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My apologies, it was me, not knowing that property was jointly owned. As advised I withdraw that recommendation.

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Hi

 

It doesn't happen that often but I must agree with others when they say do not get ahead of your self with thinking about BR. I know it is tempting, I was thinking seriously about it 5 ish years ago but didn't and I am glad i didn't.

 

From what you say about your wife it does sound like there is some mental or even physical health problems , it is all too easy to say it's 'just' depression but sometimes mental health problems can have physical causes so I would make sure that the GP rules out physical problems as well.

 

Now I know this will sound harsh , but you have just said that for 25 years she has been your rock - now is the time for you to be her rock and step up to the mark. She needs help , support and understanding- she has given it to you for 25 years, please give some back now.


Any opinion I give is from personal experience .

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You REALLY need to stop talking about bankruptcy and everything similar, calm down and start reading the advice youve been given.

 

Youre jumping the gun in a massive way and its causing you more stress.

 

Agree.

 

I have come across a few situations where people have got into severe debt and sometimes the reaction to being in debt is worse that the anxiety of being in debt. People do really stupid things, because they thought it was right thing to do at the time.

 

What you have to do first is stop any more debt being created due to the issues you have raised.

 

Then it is a case of looking at each debt and seeing what you can do. If you post up details on here on each debt, then you might get some advice on each.

 

If you find that you need to take out some form of consolidation loan over a long period, then that might be better than dealing with debts owed to various companies. I have known several people who have taken this option and paid a loan over 10 years. I have also known some people to increase their mortgage if they have a lot of equity and to then have a sum of money to pay off all debts. I don't know whether mortgage companies still do this.


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