The new Alphabet for the Aged

[citizenB]

someone just sent me this by email

 

New Alphabet:

A is for apple, and B is for boat,

That used to be right, but now it won’t float!

Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

 

Now The “new “Alphabet:

 

A is for arthritis; B’s the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

 

D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

 

F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

 

H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.

 

J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.

 

L ’s for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

 

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!

 

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

 

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

 

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

 

U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

 

W for worry, now what's going ‘round? X is for x-ray, and what might be found.

 

Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

 

I've survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed,

And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

[snowdragon]

[honeybee13]

Very good, CB.

[Tawnyowl]

someone just sent me this by email

Just checked things out,to see what applies,slightly worrying.Crossed out those that do not apply,yet.

 

New Alphabet:

A is for apple, and B is for boat,

That used to be right, but now it won’t float!

Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

 

Now The “new “Alphabet:

 

A is for arthritis; B’s the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

 

D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

All gone,maintenance free,

 

H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.

Only scar i have is on my chest,Mary Malone she broke my heart.

 

L ’s for libido, what happened to sex? I will leave that on,not admitting anything.

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

 

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

 

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

 

T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

 

W for worry, now what's going ‘round? X is for x-ray, and what might be found.

 

Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!

 

I've survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed,

And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

 

A enjoyable thread,so funny.

Made me check things out.Sure i have said that already.

Deleted those that do not apply,yet.Maybe said that as well,i am off.

Which ones apply to you out there,be honest,we are watching.

[honeybee13]

The letter M made me think of a song I like a lot. Apologies if I've posted this before.

 

 

HB

[citizenB]

Very clever, HB

[honeybee13]

It makes me smile every time I watch it.

[Tawnyowl]

Makes me smile as well.

It did the first time i heard it,but forgot the words.

 

So i have popped back in to hear it again.

Probably i will have to pop back in a day or so because i have forgotten the words again.

Now what was i doing,i have forgotten,oh dear.

Nice tune though as i remember,one more time perhaps.

Now where did i hear that tune.

[honeybee13]

I like the line 'The last time I remember driving was to that memory enhancing seminar' Or words to that effect.