Jump to content

 

BankFodder BankFodder


Shelley181146

Sister terminally Ill / preparing for the end

style="text-align:center;"> Please note that this topic has not had any new posts for the last 1480 days.

If you are trying to post a different story then you should start your own new thread. Posting on this thread is likely to mean that you won't get the help and advice that you need.

If you are trying to post information which is relevant to the story in this thread then please flag it up to the site team and they will allow you to post.

Thank you

Recommended Posts

I find myself in new territory and would appreciate some guidance if possible.

 

My sister is terminally ill and we are a very small family. This consists of:

 

Daughter (K)

2 Grand children

Older sister in Europe (RB)

Me (sister) been caring for her (RD)

 

My niece (K) has no problem with me dealing with all official and non official things because she is not coping with her mothers prognosis. However, I am obviously aware that my niece is the next of kin and we are communicating everything together at each step of the situation as it arises.

 

Big sis in Europe not coming over until Christmas or the funeral, whichever comes first!

 

Now, as my sister has not made a will this will leave us managing her estate in accordance with government guidelines.

There is no property involved

- under £2k funds

- £500 debt besides the usual utility bills.

In receipt of P.I.P and motability vehicle in operation.

In receipt of Tax Credits (albeit they have been calculated incorrectly and I am currently dealing with, via letter of authorisation)

Funeral paid for in cash 6 months ago

Old PPI plans are being dealt with/ or have been dealt with accordingly.

 

In order to reduce timesframe and undue stress (I lost my husband in April) I would very much appreciate 'official quick fixes' if they exist or alternatively, smooth solutions to keep anxiety to a minimum.

 

P.S: Title appropriate because we have a good sense of humour - NOT intended to offend.

 

Many thanks

Shelley


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd say you have just about everything covered. The biggest stress point would be the funeral and associated expenses, but as this is already paid for, that leaves the emotional side of things to deal with when the time comes.

When the time does come, you should be able to get a grant of administration from the Probate Registry for free as the estate is likely to be well under the £5,000 limit.

 

Fingers crossed that the Christmas reunion passes off without incident.


PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

 

Quote
No... you can't eat my brain just yet. I need it a little while longer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Shelley, very sorry to hear this sad news, strangely enough, it will be that sense of good humour that will get through this :)


Have we helped you ...?         Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

 

Uploading documents to CAG ** Instructions **

 

Looking for a draft letter? Use the CAG Library

Dealing with Customer Service Departments? - read the CAG Guide first

 

1: Making a PPI claim ? - Q & A's and spreadsheets for single premium policy -

HERE

2: Take back control of your finances -

Debt Diaries

3: Feel Bullied by Creditors or Debt Collectors?

Read Here

4: Staying Calm About Debt

Read Here

5: Forum rules - These have been updated -

Please Read

 

 

BCOBS

 

2: Does your Bank play fair - You can force your Bank to play Fair with you

3: Banking Conduct of Business Regulations - The Hidden Rules

4: BCOBS and Unfair Treatment - Common Examples of Banks Behaving Badly

5: Fair Treatment for Credit Card Holders and Borrowers - COBS

 

 

 

Advice & opinions given by citizenb are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

 

PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shelley, very sorry to hear this sad news, strangely enough, it will be that sense of good humour that will get through this :)

 

Thank you both. I have requested the administration pack today to read up when im bored, and yes we do have comical moments but some are not printable.

We've enjoyed a takeaway this evening (with a sneaky sip of wine) because the NHS menu isn't fit for consumption. Bazaar that really! Waited an hour Sunday for a jug of water but that's for another thread!

 

Spoke to the bank and they'll want their form signed by a solicitor?


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Shelley and good to talk last night.

 

Hope the Take Away was good !!

 

:pizza:

 

:laser:


We could do with some help from you

                                                                PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

                                            Have we helped you ...?  Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

 

Please give something if you can. We all give our time free of charge but the site has bills to pay.

 

Thanks !:-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waited an hour Sunday for a jug of water

 

The hospital my mother was in last Christmas switched to bottled water after an outbreak of norovirus. You might want to consider taking a few bottles in for her (slip a bottle of wine in too :-)). If you haven't already seen them, the Robinsons Squash'd are very handy in a hospital environment.


PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

 

Quote
No... you can't eat my brain just yet. I need it a little while longer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

any chance of changing the heading to a better description ? as the one above is rather out of line to the situation and not at all funny!? something like Terminally Ill = better respect to the person in question!


:mad2::-x:jaw::sad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
any chance of changing the heading to a better description ? as the one above is rather out of line to the situation and not at all funny!? something like Terminally Ill = better respect to the person in question!

 

The chosen heading for this thread represented the humour of my sister and YOU have offended me by requesting it be changed - YOU don't know her and have nothing other than your opinion to the thread title so why have you butted in?

 

SITE - TEAM - kindly delete the thread as I am offended by the OLD COGGER and do not wish to have this detract from my original request for help ..........:-x:jaw:

Edited by Shelley181146
Old cogger moaning

Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have watched a daughter aged 17/18 in coma for nearly 15 months before she died, and felt it rather off putting, BUT if your Sister does not mind well carry on,


:mad2::-x:jaw::sad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Shelley,

 

No need to delete the thread at all. :wink: Nothing wrong with a pragmatic and realistic thread title. This is about your sister and your choice of thread title is entirely up to you.

 

Have you got advice yet from the Probate peeps. You could take a look here too - http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/dealing-with-a-deceased-persons-money-and-property

 

:-)


We could do with some help from you

                                                                PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

                                            Have we helped you ...?  Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

 

Please give something if you can. We all give our time free of charge but the site has bills to pay.

 

Thanks !:-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear of your family distress Shelley. It's never easy no matter how many people we support at the end of life events just ignore any comments from those who should know better. We all handle such in our own ways there is no right or wrong way to die or grieve. Citizens Advice have their own solicitors who will be able to assist around administration matters without huge bills to worry about and the Probate a Registry are great. Thinking of all of you, especially you and those who are looking on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi Shelley,

 

No need to delete the thread at all. :wink: Nothing wrong with a pragmatic and realistic thread title. This is about your sister and your choice of thread title is entirely up to you.

 

Have you got advice yet from the Probate peeps. You could take a look here too - http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/dealing-with-a-deceased-persons-money-and-property

 

:-)

 

Thank you for your support Slick.

Andy sent me a message regarding 'unhappy' people due to my choice of title but it seems they've won.

Anyway, I have printed off the link you sent me and will read it during the night.

I have spoken with the Probate team and they have been very helpful and will send out liturature as well.

Hassle withthe bank is my main concern but I will post a seperate thread for that, might interest you?

 

In regards to the water bottle suggestion, I do take in own water supply and Lactose milk because the hospital can't accommodate the latter. Bazaar really when they cater for all other ethnic groups but I won't get into that here.

I did sneak a small shot of wine in the other evening when we dined with Sweet/sour chicken takeaway - she thought it was really naughty, but she enjoyed it bless her.

 

The tip for CAB legal advisors is useful - right under my nose but in circumstances like this at these stress levels I never gave them a thought! I will do though next week.

 

My sister managed a smile and some squash today so I'm happy for now :)

 

Off to do the night shift - with homework in bag.

 

Thank you for your support and kindness peeps.


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I lost a close relative last year and the last thing he would have wanted is people crying and moaning.

Everyone is different and some people laugh even on their death bed.

Title not offensive at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I lost a close relative last year and the last thing he would have wanted is people crying and moaning.

Everyone is different and some people

on their death bed.

Title not offensive at all.

 

Thank you King but current title is not original title.

I had headed it "Not dead yet, but close"

This is our families sense of humour. My late husband even knew he was going in a black bin bag under the patio but he had a very dignified send off in a 'proper' cemetery, flowers and everything. Lol.

im currently sat by her bedside reading her book to her :)


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thank you King but current title is not original title.

I had headed it "Not dead yet, but close"

This is our families sense of humour. My late husband even knew he was going in a black bin bag under the patio but he had a very dignified send off in a 'proper' cemetery, flowers and everything. Lol.

im currently sat by her bedside reading her book to her :)

 

A colleague of mine who had two open heart Operations in the past 3 years keeps on making jokes about him passing away during important meetings to cause max disruption.

He laughs about it every day.

Maybe that's what is keeping him alive 😊

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say yes, without a shadow of doubt!

 

No one likes to think of their own mortality - when I booked my late husbands funeral they asked is I wanted a single or double plot? WOW! I hadn't thought about it - I don't intend to join him for quite awhile, although I did have a recent scare so I'm trying to take things easier.


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I would say yes, without a shadow of doubt!

 

No one likes to think of their own mortality - when I booked my late husbands funeral they asked is I wanted a single or double plot? WOW! I hadn't thought about it - I don't intend to join him for quite awhile, although I did have a recent scare so I'm trying to take things easier.

 

 

 

 

There was nothing wrong with your title? I wondered what was so wrong with it! It is Simple and HONEST. Not dead yet, but close. I thought it must have been something obscene. Maybe folk can not handle that.

 

 

I like Hozier song 'Take me to Church' - 'She's the giggle at a funeral' 'offer me that deathless death'

 

 

It is a pure honour and blessing to be with someone as they die.

 

 

 

Good Luck to your sister.

 

 

Take good care of yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister passed away 7th December 2015 :(

 

She did find it rather funny that she was the centre of an internet community forum discussion and I can't repeat her response - you would delete my account, lol.

 

My grief has visited me in waves and I continue to laugh in the face of sorrow, as she would us too.

 

No comment necessary - just updating thread


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Shelley, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Your Sister was obviously a very special person x


Have we helped you ...?         Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

 

Uploading documents to CAG ** Instructions **

 

Looking for a draft letter? Use the CAG Library

Dealing with Customer Service Departments? - read the CAG Guide first

 

1: Making a PPI claim ? - Q & A's and spreadsheets for single premium policy -

HERE

2: Take back control of your finances -

Debt Diaries

3: Feel Bullied by Creditors or Debt Collectors?

Read Here

4: Staying Calm About Debt

Read Here

5: Forum rules - These have been updated -

Please Read

 

 

BCOBS

 

2: Does your Bank play fair - You can force your Bank to play Fair with you

3: Banking Conduct of Business Regulations - The Hidden Rules

4: BCOBS and Unfair Treatment - Common Examples of Banks Behaving Badly

5: Fair Treatment for Credit Card Holders and Borrowers - COBS

 

 

 

Advice & opinions given by citizenb are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

 

PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you CitizenB she certainly was. They broke the mould but we gave her a brilliant send off. Colourful and full of laughter.


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Shelley. I'm so sorry for the loss of you sister, it must be very hard for you.

 

She sounds like a great person.

 

Hugs, HB


Illegitimi non carborundum

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My grief has visited me in waves and I continue to laugh in the face of sorrow, as she would us too.

 

Nine months on, and I still find certain things trigger strong emotions and a feeling of loss. Doing a first aid course last week, and I found the CPR practicals really difficult to cope with...

 

If you need any advice or help, just ask. :grouphug:


PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

 

Quote
No... you can't eat my brain just yet. I need it a little while longer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Shelley.

 

You know where we are if you need us :wink:

 

Best wishes to you and yours. :grouphug:

 

:-)


We could do with some help from you

                                                                PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

                                            Have we helped you ...?  Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

 

Please give something if you can. We all give our time free of charge but the site has bills to pay.

 

Thanks !:-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Shelley,

I am so very sorry for your loss of a wonderful sister.

 

On reading your posts she sure sounds like she had a wicked sense of humour indeed. I loved the sneaking of a drop of wine & having a take away.

 

The time you spent together as she faced her final journey, will be the most cherished of memories.

 

Mucho hugs & best wishes....


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every single minute of it!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for your sincere support.

 

It has been a distressing time and I have posted other related threads. The most painful is http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?444897-Funeral-disaster and I will be updating this shortly.

 

Having my CAG family at my fingertips is very comforting - without which I have no idea how I would cope.

 

Thank you all :-)


Santander PPI X 2 **WON** claims on behalf of son (Oct 2010/ Mar 2011)

Citicard O/H (PPI) - **WON** Compound Interest Dec 2011

Citicard O/H (Charges) Bailiffs sent in August 2012

Barclaycard - **WON** Compound Interest Oct 2011

Monument - account information being sought for OH

Citicard - self - N1 submitted August 2012

Barclaycard - self - **WON** damages for non disclosure/information now rec'd. Aug 2012

Barclaycard - relation - Failed SAR sent 29/09/11

Halifax SAR sent 18/08/2011 for relation

LTSB - SAR sent 09/08/2011 for friend

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 Caggers

    No registered users viewing this page.


  • Have we helped you ...?


×
×
  • Create New...