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Taken out Pay day loans in my ex name...simply to survive

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I don't know where to start,

 

I have recently come to terms with the fact that my relationship is toxic. I have been with my mentally and sometimes physically abusive partner for almost 14 years and we have 3 children together.

 

He doesn't cope well at all with anything and I do my best to take it all on. Some years ago the bank decided to withdraw his overdraft and we were left with zero money a few days after payday, with pretty much all the bills to pay and the rest of the month to actually live. We already had debt and I had nobody to turn to for a favour of borrowing money.

 

I did something so stupid I cant believe I did it, I started talking out payday loans in both mine and his names without his knowledge or consent. I have committed fraud and now I want out of the relationship and I don't know what's going to happen to me or my children.

 

Right now Im sat upstairs down the side of my youngest childs cot in the dark trying to type through the tears - Iv lived with this secret for years, I cannot leave the house until I have seen the postman come and go just incase he brings a letter. I just need to know what will happen when all this comes to light.

 

I don't have the money to pay it off and I cant live like this anymore. Today something really bad happened and I just don't want to bring my children up in this environment any longer but Im so so scared of what will happen about all the fraud/debt.

 

Can anybody give me any guidance please? Im so ashamed of myself and this doesn't make any of it any better but I didn't do it to fund fancy clothes or days out it was to live

Edited by maroondevo52
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Hi mcgmcg and Welcome to CAG

 

I am moving your thread to the appropriate forum....were you will get specialist advice on dealing with this problem.

 

You need to calm down and don't worry...help will be along shortly.

 

Regards

 

Andy

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Thank you for changing the title. Just wanted to clarify I havnt left yet but desperately need to, he wasn't my ex when I did it. The money basically put the money from the overdraft back into the bank but I then got caught in the spiral of never having enough no matter how many cutbacks I made and having to take out more and more. Sorry Im an absolute mess right now.

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I have reported your post to the Site Team...so assistance will be along shortly.

 

Put the kettle on and get a coffee...and if you are able to access the computer safely....lets start to to solve your problems.

 

If you could start by listing which companies and amounts and dates and what is outstanding now.

 

Regards

 

Andy


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Hi MCG

Welcome aboard

 

Don't sweat too much you've done nothing seriously wrong really

 

You can't GOTO prison for civil debt

And

They won't take your kids away either

 

1000's of people everyday do what you have done believe me.

 

Might be best to p'haps contact national debt line

They can deal with all of them for you

Else do it yourself and write each one a letter and tell them.

 

They can't get blood out of a stone!!!

 

Dx

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I will have to actually email and ask for details as Iv just buried my head in the sand for so so long over it all. I will have to adjust these once I have gathered all the information but heres a rough idea

 

 

paydayuk

uncle buck

swift sterling x3

lending stream x4/5

the money shop x2

ferratum

 

 

All were taken out between 2011 and 2014, where I have put x2/3/4/5 etc that's how many they let me have at any one time. Most I just stopped paying and ignored any letters.

All were rolled over where possible and all were for anything between £150 - £800

 

 

Sorry I cant be more precise right now.

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I could go to prison for the fraud part though couldn't I?

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You have not committed fraud...you made a joint / application...okay without his knowledge......but we can cross that later.

 

You have taken the first step by coming to CAG and seeking help.

 

 

I assume he has no knowledge of the loans and now the companies want payment and the letters/phone calls have started?

 

What is your first name mcgmcg ?

 

Andy

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I could go to prison for the fraud part though couldn't I?

 

No you can't

 

Civil debt is not a criminal offence


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Just so were 100% clear they weren't joint applications some were solely in my name and others were solely in his, nope he has no knowledge of them at all he never does anything financial. But I cant stay with him anymore and the letters are going to start coming to him so hes about to find out.

 

 

Im Nicki :-) Thanks for helping me out

 

 

The phone calls and letters have been on going for ever

You have not committed fraud...you made a joint/ application...okay without his knowledge......but we can cross that later.

 

You have taken the first step by coming to CAG and seeking help.

 

 

I assume he has no knowledge of the loans and now the companies want payment and the letters/phone calls have started?

 

What is your first name mcgmcg ?

 

Andy

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Can anybody give me any guidance please?

 

When in difficult situations, many of us do desperate things. None of will judge or condemn you for your actions.

 

Often, it helps just having a sympathetic ear to talk to, so can I suggest you call Refuge on 0808 2000 247 (it is a 24 hour help line). They should be able to sign post you towards other services such as debt management and free legal advice.


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Quote
No... you can't eat my brain just yet. I need it a little while longer.

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Get yourself a new basic bank account and get any money you get in paid into it so that it doesn't get swallowed up paying debts and you can use it to live on.

 

Do you have somewhere that you and your children can go?


 

What's Best for You?

 

 

The Consumer Action Group is a free help site.

Should you be offered help that requires payment please report it to site team.

 

Alliance & Leicester Moneyclaim issued 20/1/07 £225.50 full settlement received 29 January 2007

Smile £1,075.50 + interest Email request for payment 24/5/06 received £1,000.50 14/7/06 + £20 30/7/06

Yorkshire Bank Moneyclaim issued 21/6/06 £4,489.39 full settlement received 26 January 2007

:p

 

Advice & opinions given by Caro are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

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Get yourself a new basic bank account and get any money you get in paid into it so that it doesn't get swallowed up paying debts and you can use it to live on.

 

Do you have somewhere that you and your children can go?

 

 

Thanks I did that a good while ago when I decided I needed to stop paying in order to get out of the spiral ...

We will probably go to my mums. He isn't going to like it but Ill have to deal with it. I was mostly worried about the fraud repercussions and losing my children.

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When in difficult situations, many of us do desperate things. None of will judge or condemn you for your actions.

 

 

Thank you, mostly Im judging myself and how utterly stupid I have been :)

Edited by citizenB
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When in difficult situations, many of us do desperate things. None of will judge or condemn you for your actions.QUOTE]

 

 

Thank you, mostly Im judging myself and how utterly stupid I have been :)

 

You did what you needed to do to survive and provide for your kids. It's the payday lenders who should be ashamed of taking advantage of desperate people and charging extortionate interest rates.

 

Cut yourself some slack. ;)

 

 

 

 

Some useful links....

 

samaritans: http://www.samaritans.org/

 

Womens Aid: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Edited by Andyorch
Links added

 

What's Best for You?

 

 

The Consumer Action Group is a free help site.

Should you be offered help that requires payment please report it to site team.

 

Alliance & Leicester Moneyclaim issued 20/1/07 £225.50 full settlement received 29 January 2007

Smile £1,075.50 + interest Email request for payment 24/5/06 received £1,000.50 14/7/06 + £20 30/7/06

Yorkshire Bank Moneyclaim issued 21/6/06 £4,489.39 full settlement received 26 January 2007

:p

 

Advice & opinions given by Caro are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

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HI there.

 

I can see that you feel you are in a bad place right now. You have had some good advice already.

 

One thing that is very important, not just for you but also for your Kids is your Mental and Physical welbeing.

 

If you cannot sleep and are having bad thoughts it will make this issue feel worse than it is and also hinder your efforts to resolve it. Why not go to your local GP?

 

Despite how bad you feel, GPs have come across a lot worse and should be there to help you without judgement. If you feel it would be hard to talk to them, you could always right down your thoughts and feelings and either use it as a guide for your discussion with your GP, or even just hand it to them to read.

 

No matter how stupid you feel, you have done something very brave and asked for help, and that takes a lot of strength. You also want to set things right.

 

I hope that this is the first step to getting yourself (With help) to a better place.


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The SabreSheep, All information is offered on good faith and based on mine and others experiences. I am not a qualified legal professional and you should always seek legal advice if you are unsure of your position.

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Thanks I did that a good while ago when I decided I needed to stop paying in order to get out of the spiral ...

We will probably go to my mums. He isn't going to like it but Ill have to deal with it. I was mostly worried about the fraud repercussions and losing my children.

 

Plenty of options then Nicki....

 

I would suggest now that you get a good nights sleep...new day tomorrow and a fresh start......as stated you have taken the first step by talking about the problem.Get your accommodation sorted tomorrow...then any letters are irrelevant if they arrive.

 

Come back to us once you are ready and we can then talk you through your options in dealing with the debts.

 

Regards

 

Andy


We could do with some help from you.

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Thanks I did that a good while ago when I decided I needed to stop paying in order to get out of the spiral ...

We will probably go to my mums. He isn't going to like it but Ill have to deal with it. I was mostly worried about the fraud repercussions and losing my children.

 

Don't worry about what he likes or doesn't like. If you are in any doubt about your safety at your Mum's, take a look at the links.

 

Andy's right. Get some sleep if you can and start afresh tomorrow.


 

What's Best for You?

 

 

The Consumer Action Group is a free help site.

Should you be offered help that requires payment please report it to site team.

 

Alliance & Leicester Moneyclaim issued 20/1/07 £225.50 full settlement received 29 January 2007

Smile £1,075.50 + interest Email request for payment 24/5/06 received £1,000.50 14/7/06 + £20 30/7/06

Yorkshire Bank Moneyclaim issued 21/6/06 £4,489.39 full settlement received 26 January 2007

:p

 

Advice & opinions given by Caro are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

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How's things?


 

What's Best for You?

 

 

The Consumer Action Group is a free help site.

Should you be offered help that requires payment please report it to site team.

 

Alliance & Leicester Moneyclaim issued 20/1/07 £225.50 full settlement received 29 January 2007

Smile £1,075.50 + interest Email request for payment 24/5/06 received £1,000.50 14/7/06 + £20 30/7/06

Yorkshire Bank Moneyclaim issued 21/6/06 £4,489.39 full settlement received 26 January 2007

:p

 

Advice & opinions given by Caro are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

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Im a little more collected today. He's offered to go and work a way for a few days to give me some space so Im still at home. I have lots to consider, Im much calmer on learning that Im not going to get into any serious trouble for what I have done and Im just doing lots of reading on how I can clear all of the mess up.

Thanks for asking :)

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Does he know about the loans now?


 

What's Best for You?

 

 

The Consumer Action Group is a free help site.

Should you be offered help that requires payment please report it to site team.

 

Alliance & Leicester Moneyclaim issued 20/1/07 £225.50 full settlement received 29 January 2007

Smile £1,075.50 + interest Email request for payment 24/5/06 received £1,000.50 14/7/06 + £20 30/7/06

Yorkshire Bank Moneyclaim issued 21/6/06 £4,489.39 full settlement received 26 January 2007

:p

 

Advice & opinions given by Caro are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

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Does he know about the loans now?

 

 

No he doesn't know about them at all ... I know its crazy but I don't want him to know if possible but at least now Im not contemplating all manner of things in order to try and get out of this.

 

I am just trying to decide the best way now to have them from hanging round my neck - plus Iv also been ignoring my own. And one of thems now trying for a ccj. Got the papers through a week or so ago but I know (well think) they have not followed procedure so Im fighting it.

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" Got the papers through a week or so ago but I know (well think) they have not followed procedure so Im fighting it."

 

You need to act on them now...are they in your name or your Hubby's?....you have 19 days to acknowledge service....start a new thread in the Financial Legal Issues.

 

Regards

 

Andy.

 

Delighted you seem to be a lot calmer now:wink:


We could do with some help from you.

PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

 Have we helped you ...?         Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

 

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