Caught shoplifting, this is killing me inside. Please help me.

[Tahmina.ray]

I was caught shoplifting last week at a supermarket.

 

 

I took two items, although I didn't even check the prices,

but when the police came we were told they both in total were £279.99.

 

 

The police interviewed me in the shop itself rather arrest me as I told them I need to get back home to my children.

I am now waiting to receive a court summons.

 

The biggest problem is that I plead guilty and told them I've never done this before.

But the truth is I did it just two days back at the same shop but didn't get caught that day.

 

 

I've been really stupid, I don't know what got in to me to have done all this.

I have a lovely family, my husband and three kids, my baby is only 6 months old.

 

 

I am really scared that the shop might realize that they have low stock on the item I stole

and they might get suspicious that I did it as it was the same item I attempted on stealing two days after again when I got caught.

 

Can someone please help me and tell me could they check their cctv

and can they take further action against me if they find anything of me that day.

 

I have never been involved with the police before and have never stolen before.

I haven't told anyone about this, not even my husband.

This is killing me from inside.

I'm really scared that they might find out about the other items I have stolen and when I go to court I'll end up in jail.

 

I don't want to lose my family,

I am crying and I would rather kill myself than go in jail thinking everyday how my children are coping without me.

 

 

My baby has had health problems since birth and can't do without me for even an hour.

 

 

How can we be without each other if I was jailed.

 

 

Please help me.

[obiter dictum]

Please take a deep breath, you will not go to Gaol over this.

 

The police may not even prosecute as it is a first offence. You will probably get called into the police station, get an £80.00 Civil Penalty Order and receive a police caution. It is simply not in the public interest to prosecute a first time offender with this low level transgression.

 

Have a quiet chat with your GP, i am no doctor but it seems to me stress related. I am only speculating but that is the logical conclusion

[dx100uk]

and whatever you do TOTALLY IGNORE anything you get from a lot called RLP

 

 

did the police actually state they were going to take this further?

[honeybee13]

Hello there.

 

I agree with the advice above, I think you should have a quiet chat with your doctor. We've seen ladies with post natal depression who have shoplifted, that might be worth looking at as well.

 

HB

[Tahmina.ray]

and whatever you do TOTALLY IGNORE anything you get from a lot called RLP

 

did the police actually state they were going to take this further?

 

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

Yes the police said because the items were over £200

I would have to go to court and will receive a court summons within a week.

 

The store security guard gave me a letter saying I am now banned for life from their store

and that I would receive a letter with their charges for the security guard who wasted time to deal with me.

 

The police have told me that I won't be in serious trouble probably a fine since it's my first offence.

However as I say I'm worried more because I had done the stealing two days before too.

And scared they would realise they have shortage of the item in stock

and think maybe it was me since it's the same item I attempted stealing the day I got.

And if they get suspicious they would start looking back at cctv footage from past few days.

 

 

If they did that and find out I had stolen that day what could happen.

Would this make my situation worse?

 

I am so scared to tell anyone,

 

 

I'm killing myself with all the pain of losing my children.

 

 

I'm too scared to even talk to a dr invade the dr reports me.

 

 

I am shaking and feel I will pass out.

 

 

My husband is getting concerned and keeps asking me why am I so lost these days.

[dx100uk]

calm down

 

 

no-one ever gets prison on shop lifting no a days

and this is your first offence

don't worry about CCTV etc

its not relevant what you have done before.

 

 

and no your GP will not 'report' you

its his job to look after you.

 

 

letter for wasted time of the security guard!!

what a load of ole twaddle

that's what he is paid for.

 

 

as said whatever else happens ignore RLP

and go see your doctor.

 

 

you are not alone in doing this under your current state

my mrs had the same, used to steal bananas!!

 

 

dx

[Bazooka Boo]

Please please please, book an appointment with your GP, or if there is a 'walk in' centre near you, why not drop in there and have a chat with a nurse or Dr in there?

 

I am sure your husband will support you if you share this with him, so talk to him, you don't need to go through this on your own.

 

What's done is done, you can't change that, but you can get help, and talking about it will be a start, and if you get a Dr's report, then this

can be used in 'mitigating' circumstances and given to the Judge, who will take it into account, you WON'T go to jail, not for this.

[Tahmina.ray]

Hello there.

 

I agree with the advice above, I think you should have a quiet chat with your doctor. We've seen ladies with post natal depression who have shoplifted, that might be worth looking at as well.

 

HB

 

Thank you for your support.

[Tahmina.ray]

Thank you to everyone here, I wasn't expecting you all to support me,

I'm just really scared they might find out through cctv that I done it two days back without them catching me

and they would inform the police and that would just make things worse.

 

I am really scared to go to the dr's but I will take all your advice and go because to be honest even I can't understand what had gotten in me

and why I did all that when I have never stolen anything big or small in my life ever before.

[Tahmina.ray]

Please please please, book an appointment with your GP, or if there is a 'walk in' centre near you, why not drop in there and have a chat with a nurse or Dr in there?

 

I am sure your husband will support you if you share this with him, so talk to him, you don't need to go through this on your own.

 

What's done is done, you can't change that, but you can get help, and talking about it will be a start, and if you get a Dr's report, then this

can be used in 'mitigating' circumstances and given to the Judge, who will take it into account, you WON'T go to jail, not for this.

 

 

Thanks a lot but I don't think I could tell my husband, it's such a despicable act on my behalf. I'm so ashamed of myself. I don't want to embarrass him or upset him as he will think he isn't providing me enough when he gives me anything I ask for.

[Tahmina.ray]

Can someone also please tell me what would happen in court? If I'm fined around how much will it be and would I get the option to pay in installments.

 

Also will this come up on a crb check?

 

And also would you think I need a solicitor or its ok for me to go alone since I intend to plea guilty?

 

Thank you everyone.

[citizenB]

It might be worth contacting Citizens Advice Bureau - they would have dealt with situations like this many times before.

 

When you receive your court hearing date, it might be worth having a completed Income and Expenditure form and if you are working, perhaps a couple of salary slips so you can show any ability to pay. I have attached an Income and Expenditure forum below for you.

 

Ellens Budget Sheet.xls

 

 

As this will likely be heard in your local court - check and see if they have a duty solicitor - they should be able to support you on the day.

[Tahmina.ray]

Thank you so much citizenB. I will use the budget sheet. I am really scared to see someone regarding this matter, and very embarrassed to approach for help. I will wait til I hear from court and then decide what to do. Thanks a lot.

[citizenB]

I can understand that you are embarrassed, however IMHO, I think you really need to see your GP or a Nurse/Midwife. If you are suffering from post natal depression, that would go a long way to explaining what is happening to you.

[Bazooka Boo]

Yes please seek some help, please.

[JoeyJoeC]

They will probably send you a letter from RLP to claim back the costs for the security team that they claimed "wasted time" on you. That is their job! Just ignore any letters from RLP as they are nothing to worry about at all.

 

Other letters from the court, don't ignore!

[silverfox1961]

Hi and a warm welcome from me too. You have had excellent advice so far so there is not much I can add but my strong support.

 

Regarding your husband. IF he is violent or has other controlling issues, it may be in your best interest not to tell him however, if he is generally supportive, you should tell him.

 

Assume this is going to court for starters where you may receive a fine or something lesser. It is likely the magistrate will order reports which may be done by the Probation Service and this gives you the opportunity to explain in detail why you did what you did. Before that happens, it would be worth getting a firm diagnosis from your GP. This is something they have seen time and time again so may be able to offer some help (counselling? Happy pills?) More importantly, once the Probation Service are informed, they can go to your GP to get more info. It is my belief this will go a long way to mitigate your behaviour. From what you have said here, I too strongly suspect a form of depression but then again, I am no doctor.

 

If your area is similar to the area I live in, magistrate cases are sometimes reported in the local newspaper, I say this not to stress you out even more but to alert you to the possibility and another reason to speak to your husband and GP.

 

Your attention will be needed here so if you get any letters from RLP or DWF, you can safely ignore them.

[Tahmina.ray]

Thank you everyone for your help and support and for not lecturing me of how bad I was. I am so glad I ended up in this forum.

 

I will be going to my gp. I will see how it goes with my gp and then may tell my husband everything too. He isn't a violent person, he's always been there for me. I just cabout imagine what he's going to think of me, as tbh there was no need for me to do this. If I ever need anything my husband never says no.

 

Can someone please tell me if I do get a letter from RLP and I ignore it can I end up with bailiffs at my door?

 

I will be keeping you all updated with what is happening with me, you all have been a great support to me and I feel slightly relieved tonight. Hopefully I will get some sleep. Thank you to each one that has replied here.

[dx100uk]

nope RLP are NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with any legal process

and no they can never get bailiffs involved.

 

 

dx

[silverfox1961]

To be even more clear on what bailiffs can do. With RLP, as DX says above, they will never get involved.

 

If the store where the incident took place decided to take you to court (HIGHLY UNLIKELY as they have passed the buck to RLP)

 

If you are fined by a court and you failed to pay the fine, the courts could send a bailiff in but that won't happen, will it!

 

So, concentrate your efforts on the criminal side of this matter and don't even spare a thought for RLP.

 

As you haven't named the store, we can only assume it will be RLP as they are the biggest. There is also DWF who act for some other stores but the advice would still be the same.

 

Oh dear. Just looked at RLPs accounts for 2014. Not doing too well

[think about it]

Hi Tahmina,

 

I thought I'd pop a quick response here too from a GP surgeries' perspective.

 

I'm very glad that you've decided to go to see your GP, I'm a practice manager in a GP surgery and I hope I might be able to help a little.

 

When you call up for an appointment I think it's important that you ask for an emergency appointment with the first available clinician, ideally within the next 24 hours. Even if it's the practice nurse they will listen to you and speak with the on-call GP. Feeling the way you explain is exactly the reason we have emergency appointments, so please don't be shy in asking for one. You have my absolute word that you won't be judged or reported by anyone in the practice. We come to work each day to help people and even though not all of us are clinically qualified we do whatever we can to play our part.

 

If you find yourself with a 'difficult' receptionist please just ask to speak with the Practice Manager and don't be afraid of explaining how you need them to help you.

 

Your GP is geared up entirely for this, please explain everything to him/her and don't be afraid. By telling them everything then they'll know how best to start to help and don't worry they really have heard and seen it all before so please don't hold anything back or be shy. It's their job to help, not judge.

 

Good luck and take care of yourself.

 

TAI

[Tahmina.ray]

Hi think about it thank you so much for your response. Your words are very encouraging, I have now made an appointment to see a dr on Monday. I am nervous but you all are right, dr's are there to help and not make your life any worse. Thank you.

[SabreSheep]

Also remember GPS must respect your confidentiality as well (Unless you are intending on committing a major crime or intend to hurt yourself or others)

 

Before you go to the doctor, try writing down your feelings every day till the appointment so you can reflect on this "Diary" at your appointment with your GP.

Making a list of things you feel you need to talk about can also help you.

[Tahmina.ray]

Thank you everyone for your kind response and advice

[Tahmina.ray]

Thank you SabreSheep.

 

 

I'm always thinking how to be a perfect mum, and be able to provide my kids everything they need.

 

 

I been really stressed out over my four month old baby as he has recently been suspected of cows milk allergy,

and been prescribed with a dairy free milk which he is struggling to drink.

 

 

I'm not using this as an excuse but this is one of the reasons of my sleepless nights and the stress on my shoulders.

I wish I could wave a magic wand to make him better.

 

 

I still don't understand why I did what I did and I don't think no one else would have the answer to my question if I don't myself.

 

 

I have never done anything like this ever before and ik completely ashamed of myself.