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I am currently working as deputy manager in a residential care home.


I am handing in my notice tomorrow as I feel I can no longer work with my manager. I love the home and all the staff and was delighted when I was promoted a year ago, around the same time we got a new manager.


The new manager is awful. She is lazy, shuts herself in her office all day, doesn't know her staff, doesn't know the residents. The only time she comes out of her office is to have a quick look round the home looking for faults.


I have had issues on and off with her since I started in my current job. I am 49 and she talks to me like a 4 year old, finds fault in everything I do, has been extremely unsupportive towards me in my new role and at times is verging on being a bully. I am contracted to work 40 hours a week but regularly work 50 or more, simply to get the jobs done that she piles onto me.


Company policy is that managers and deputies don't get paid overtime so I'm not being paid for the extra hours. She lies to get herself out of trouble and dumps everyone else in it with the company directors.


Around 6 months ago I spoke with one of the directors to say I had concerns about the home and the way in which the manager was treating staff and residents. The director was very understanding and set up a meeting with the 3 of us to try to sort things out. Looking back, it was made out to be me who had an issue, not the manager!


Since then the director has more or less acknowledged my concerns on several occassions with comments she has made to me, but nothing is being done about her terrible performance and terrible manner with others.


One of the company's senior managers spoke with me last week and said she knows exactly what is going on but doesn't know what to do about it. I am at the stage now where I just can't do it any more. I feel sick at the thought of getting out of bed each day to go to work, have constant headaches and stomach upsets, feel constantly anxious and on edge even when I'm not at work. I am tired of going in each morning not knowing what time I will finish (not nice to have to tell my child I've no idea what time I will be home!), not knowing what mood she will be in.


At work I spend all day wondering when the next 'telling off' will happen, and trying to avoid contact unless necessary. There isn't a week goes by without one of the staff in tears, and the atmosphere is terrible.


I could write 50 pages of how she makes my life at work very difficult, from trying to cancel my annual leave to basically blanking me when I go in her office and not looking at me when she speaks, to shouting down the phone and making sarcastic comments about my work, not answering her phone when on call so I am basically on call constantly, telling me she's angry for carrying out the directors instructions and saying the director needs to 'button it' because it was something she didn't like.


Anyway, the point of this post is that I am going to hand my notice in tomorrow. My contract states 3 months notice and the thought of this is unbearable. I don't want to go off sick - I'll keep that as a last resort - as my sickness record is excellent.


I'm not concerned about references as the company policy is to give just a basic reference saying what my position in the company is and the dates which I worked there. I haven't got another job yet but in this area jobs in care homes are in abundance so I have no worries about being able to get one quickly.


I don't think my employer will be happy to agree an early date for leaving (I was hoping for 2 months or 6 weeks). Is there anything I can do to get out of my contract early? I don't know if it makes a difference but I was supposed to have a performance review at the end of my 13 week probationary period and that never happened.


Thanks and sorry for the long post!!

Edited by honeybee13
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You could hand in your resignation with s contentious angle, stating that tou believe you have been constructively dismissed and as a result of your employers repudiatory breach of contract, you consider yourself to be absolved of any continuing obligations under the contract and won't therefore be working your notice period.


It's up to you whether to go down that route - it could affect your reference in the future. Depends whether you want to rock the boat - but the only other alternative is to try to amicably agree a shorter notice period with your employer, but by the sounds of it, your manager probably won't want to help you out!

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While you are working your notice, I would be simply refuse to work additional hours beyond those you are contracted for. If you are only being paid until 5pm then you should go home at 5pm. If there are other tasks that need to be done that's not really your problem, provided that you worked properly during the day.




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working to contract and using the grievance procedure with regard to the infair treatment will get you out of there in good time. Make sure they know that the work to rule is tied in with the resignation. The grievance shouldnt be reliant upon the other 2 actions

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for the replies. Quick update!


Went to work the day after I posted and had an awful day and ended up going to the doctor and being signed off sick for 2 weeks. i've spent most of that time sleeping and trying to get back to normality. I was absolutely exhausted with the ridiculously long hours and work load.


During this time I have been offered another job which I applied for before I went off sick, and I have accepted it. I have written to the director of my current company asking if my notice period can be reduced to the same as other deputies in my company as I believe my contract is incorrect. No word back yet but she would only have got the letter yesterday.


A reference request for my new job was sent to the manager which she received today. This was confirmed by someone else at work. I am due to go back to work next week and rung my manager this evening to let her know I would be coming back to work. I said to her to expect a reference request and she didn't let on that she had already received it. She asked when I would be starting my new job and i said it depended on my notice period as I believed my contract was incorrect. I told her I had sent the letter to the director. She then sounded really off with me and wanted to know who had told me my notice should be 2 months and said it must have been a previous employee who had done my contract and not her. I know for a fact it was her, and yet again she's trying to wriggle out of something she's done wrong. I did however acknowledge in the letter to the director that I should have checked it at the time of signing which I didn't.


The office manager at work who usually types up the standard references that the company give said to the manager today that she would type one up for her to sign and the manager told her not to as she needed to speak to the director about it. I have a feeling she is going to be her usual horrible self over this and delay sending a reference or not send it at all. I feel like never going back into that place but I'm determined not to let her get the better of me and I WILL return next week to work the rest of my notice period.


I volunteered this evening to work any shifts that are needed over the new year period and said my main reason for phoning was that I didn't want her to think I would be taking the whole of my notice period off sick, and that I was definitely returning. She did acknowledge this and thanked me for phoning her.


If the company policy is for everyone to be given a standard reference can she treat me any differently? Can they make me stick to 3 months notice even though all other employees in the same role have 2 months? I was over the moon when I was offered the new job but starting to feel a bit deflated now as it seems she will try to jepeordise this for me.

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Hello Becca.


I'm sorry, I can't work through your wall of text. Maybe you could use the Edit Post function to put in some paragraphs so the people trying to help can read your post please?



Illegitimi non carborundum




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a) they can have any factual reference they wish as long as it is true (or indeed no reference at all)

b) I might just walk myself... you've tried to lay fair and they are stalling.. depends if you feel brave!

Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

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Reference not a problem now and they are giving standard reference as they do for all employees. I think the manager will take her time with it though....


Still no word back about my notice period but apparently the manager said to someone she thought I was leaving end of January which is what I wanted to fingers crossed.


Spoke with the manager again yesterday and she gave me my shifts for xmas and new year. Company policy is that employees have to work either xmas or new year, xmas being counted as any day from 24th, 25th, 26th, new year being any day from 31st, 1st, 2nd. Among other days she has allocated me to work 26th then a late shift 31st, 14 hour shift 1st, 14 hour shift 2nd, late shift 3rd. So I am down to work both xmas and new year and she's really gone to town with my shifts for the new year week!!


Am I right in thinking that if I am signed off up to and including this coming Monday, that Monday counts as being part of the qualifying period for sickness, therefore SSP and contractual sick pay are payable, therefore I wouldn't be required to work a full week on my return on Tuesday?



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