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cut a long story short



an argument with my daughters mum escalated when she pulled her half of her family out of our daughters 6th bday party.

Leaving us with no food party bags of cakes, therefore ruining the party forcing it to be cancelled.



She ignored me and I got wound up and kept calling and txting her.

I was very upset and angry and send a few abusive and threatening ones.



She made a complaint to the police pure and simple to get back at me.



This has all stemmed from me getting a new gf and not having my daughter one weekend when I was supposed to.



I am being charged with harassment without violence.



Due to attend court on the 10th Dec.



Any advice moral support would be good,



hat sort of punishment or mitigating factors will help.


I have never been in trouble only a drink drive more then ten years ago.



We have a hostile history but never gone this far. Never had a complaint.

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I think that you need to get everything down very clearly on a piece of paper. Write out a statement of everything that happened from the birthday party onwards.


Try to make sure the statement is factual and without anger. You need to get rid of any anger that you might have inside you – even if it is very reasonable few to be angry because when you get to court you want to present yourself as measured, in control and as someone who has no axe to bear.


If you are good at speaking in court then you should address the magistrates very gently, in a quiet voice and just tell them about what happened. How you love your daughter and you did the best for her and that it was so hurtful that her birthday party was destroyed in the way that it was. Rather than expressing any anger, you should express hurt and sadness about your daughter's birthday party – and then sadness about the way that you reacted


You need to persuade the magistrates that this was completely out of character. That you are mainly separated from your daughter and that you find this very hard. Point out that your attempts to contact your ex was non-violent and nonthreatening – just persistent and might be typical of any other caring father whose efforts to give his daughter a birthday party had been frustrated in this way because of the interference of the mother-in-law.


If you are not good at speaking then you should prepare the statement as carefully as possible and then asked to read it out. You say to the magistrates that you are not good at speaking in court that you have prepared your own statement and you would appreciate it if you could be given permission to read it out. If you are given permission to read it out, then you should have practised reading it many times before. Read out in a clear voice and try to look the magistrates in the face as often as possible. In other words don't tuck your head away into the paper reading the paper as if you are a slave to it. Read bits. Look up a lot. Try to read the paper as if you are talking to somebody and not simply reading a script. At the end of reading the paper, say "thank you" to the magistrates. Say to them that you sincerely asked them to accept that this is out of character and that you never intended to cause any concern or fear and that you are very sorry about it.


If you know anybody like an employer or some other significant and respected person who is prepared to come along and give a character reference for you, then you should ask them to do so.


This is a first offence and it will all hinge on evidence of your contrition and evidence of good character.


You say that your ex and yourself have a hostile history. I do hope that she is not going to be able to say that there has ever been any violence or threats of violence. Don't be surprised if she brings her own family in to support what she says about you.


Whatever you do, you must remain very calm. Your voice must be gentle.


Dress very soberly. You don't need to wear a tie necessarily, but a plain shirt with a collar and a decent jacket and trousers. No body piercing. I'm sure you get the picture

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Just to add, that if there has been any history of threats in your relationship, then you can be sure that they will be referred to by your ex-or her family.


You will be best for you to get it out first in your own statement. So in that case you might want to say something like – I admit that during our time together there were some very heated moments and some very aggressive arguments, but never anything like this….


If you get it out first, then revelations by the other side will have a less damaging effect

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