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Sitting in traffic after multi car crash on the Forth Road Bridge, old lady driver opposite stuffing her face with crisps and cakes, after 45 minutes she nods off, slumps forward and bumps her head on the steering wheel sounding the horn.

 

Thought she was going to have a heart attack :)


 
 

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Had stopped to refuel my motorcycle at South Mimms. Sitting at the traffic lights at the roundabout, pondering the queues of stationary traffic on the M25 overhead, spied a Jag peel off to go up the slip road on to the M25. He got half way up, slung it in reverse and came back down. As the lights changed, I moved forward and over to let the police car just behind me to pass - Plod went after the Jag and pulled him over on the slip road down on to the A1M (north bound)... I went past, honked the horn and shouted "book the dozy b'st..." :madgrin:

 

 

Moral of the story: If you are going to do something stupid on the roads, don't do it in front of a copper.


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Mum was once moaning that some crazy driver was beeping his horn at her or something. (she was in her car) That crazy driver was dad!

 

Parents were in dad's car and my brother and I were in my sister's car. My sister was following dad and moaned that dad wasn't using his indicators. He then used his indicators... She had a right whinge at him!

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As I was driving in fast lane on M1, I had a tailgater right up my rear end, he kept flashing his headlights, using his right indicator & driving very close to my car, to intimidate & harass me into getting out his way.

 

I moved over when safe to do so & got a given a 2 finger wave as thanks, as he then pulled away at high speed. I commented to my sons, it's a shame the Police are never around when an idiot like him is about.

 

5 or so miles down the road, I spotted this idiot on the hard shoulder being done by an unmarked Police vehicle.

 

We all laughed & it made my day!

 

 

This Second incident was all me!!

 

 

I was following a friend in their car, going down the motorway as we drove back from Bacup to Essex.

 

My friends car was (for example) a black Nissan Qashqai 11 plate & I followed him like a shadow.

 

As he went from inside lane to outside lane & back, I followed suit. We drove like this for miles.

 

Approx 2 hours in on our journey, he pulled off at a junction & I followed suit once again. I diligently followed him through a few villages, wondering where on earth we was going.

 

20 mins into this journey, my phone started to ring, I've bluetooth in my car so answered & it was my friend asking me where was I?

 

I replied "I'm right behind you".

 

"Well I can't see you" he says.

 

So I said "Alan I am right behind you, you have just passed (whatever) village pub".

 

So Alan my friend says "Pub??, what pub do you know that's on a motorway?".

 

Penny drops & I was like OMG, help, where the hell am I!! LOL

 

 

It turned out I had followed a different black Nissan Qashqai 11 plate off the motorway & nearly ended up where ever they were going instead!!

 

I eventually found my way back to the motorway & met up with my friend at the Services! Where he was wetting himself with laughter & I felt a right fool.

 

My sons bring this up from time to time to see me squirm, Lol...


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every single minute of it!!

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Young rich driver with a blonde girlfriend to impress in a 5 series bmw tailgating and flashing me while I was overtaking a lorry on a motorway at 70 mph.

Once passed the lorry I move over to slow lane and he starts passing me, only to find that despite him pressing the gas to the floor he couldn't pass an old estate, until I let him get lined up with me, wave at him and let him see my tail disappear in the distance.

I then slow down, wait a couple of minutes for him to catch up and then get lined up at same speed while my friend in the back is mooning him.

He didn't look (or maybe pretended not to).

His girlfriend was in stitches.

Of course this happened on the autobahn 😊

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I was going to meet my husband and children after work in a village about 20 miles away to choose a puppy. I managed to find my way there but didn't know the route home so followed my husband. It was a very wet night so roads were wet. He disappeared round a bend and as I followed him round to my horror I found he'd stopped and was indicating right to turn on to a narrow lane. I slammed on my brakes and my car stopped .......... as it smashed into the back of his!!! OOPS.

 

One write off but he managed to persuade the insurance it was worth repairing his beloved old Audi which would have been much worse without its tow bar.


 

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Long before the current Mrs. Stig, a previous Mrs. Stig & I both resided abroad.

 

We decided to go out for the day and as Sat Nav's then was basically for the Military Mrs. Stig was map reading because we went to a part of the island that she was unfamiliar with.

 

One of the directions I got "In about half a mile, take a left at the yellow road"!

 

Stigman


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In my 20's I used to regularly take my young niece out for treats - cinema, arcade, bowling, fair, fireworks etc - and I'd always been slightly anxious about something happening to her while in my care, and was ultra aware and cautious, but she was never aware of this, I was her cool, fun Aunt. Then came the day, soon after I got my first car that we drove to our destination; this was the first time I'd ever driven a kid in my car and was struck down by 'new parent driving syndrome'. In the time it took for my 8 year old niece to get in the passenger seat and fasten the seatbelt, I lost ALL of the 'cool Aunt' points I'd ever collected. I triple checked the booster seat, quadruple checked her seatbelt and suddenly discovered that the maximum speed I could reach was two thirds of the speed limit of the road, I became an exaggerated stereotype of of a 'safe' driver.

 

Grace looked at me suspiciously at first when I was doing 20 in a 30 mile an hour zone, and luckily on the 60 mile an hour a road we were stuck behind a lorry, but I was happy at 40 miles an hour. But when on the motorway we were doing 50, and were overtaken by an old guy who looked about 90, Grace could no longer contain herself, she gave me a long steady look and said 'you drive like an old person', and then in a tone of pure embarrassment, she said 'GRANDADS drive faster than you' and sadly shook her head. It was like I could see her reassessing my place in her world as one of the other 'old people' like her parents.

 

Luckily she gave me another chance later, and we had many fascinating discussions about boys, drugs, sex, alcohol, smoking, teen pregnancy, music, film etc. which allowed me to earn my 'cool' points back. But that drive was my first experience of being perceived as 'old' by the younger generation - sadly, now I'm approaching the big 4-0 it happens all too often, but now it's over things like complaining how younger people feel the need to shorten words that don't need shortening, speak in 'hashtags' and obsess about fake 'celebrities' (obsessing about celebrities is bad enough, but about people who are known only for wanting to be famous......). I could now get a spot on 'grumpy old women'.


We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office ~ Aesop

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Just remembered a sticker I saw on a super modified Vauxhall nova with double sewage pipe exhausts and painted yellow.

It read: "Sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race!"

WTF!

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