Suspended from work for alleged bullying

[Badluck123]

Hi, I was suspended from work on the 3rd of October cuz one of my colleagues, who I tort of as my only friend, wrote a letter of complaint against me. I have known him for over a year now as we both started the company on the same day. I met him on the interview day. Any way since then we have become quite close in and out of work. We work night shifts in a warehouse. The day the incident took place, which was the 28th of September he actually complained to the supervisor that night requesting that I don't speak to him. The supervisor came over to me and said that he's having personal problems and that I should not tease him. So I stopped!!! Ther was 2 hours left of the shift. The next night I didn't say a word to him. I had two days of and when I came in that's when my supervisor suspended me and showed me the letter. I've had an investigatory meeting to establish what happened. It's been 7 days since the meeting and I'm still waiting waiting for the outcome. Please help!!!

[Emmzzi]

In what way were you teasing him?

[Badluck123]

I basically asked if he was on drugs cuz a few people mentioned it to me so I felt morally obliged to ask him as a friend. He went all defensive and threatened to sort me out at 6 am with violence, he even stated this in his letter of complaint, he even put that he was gna throw a case of Pepsi at me. I laughed at him when he threatened me cuz I tort he wAs joking but he probably wasn't.

[Badluck123]

I was saying things like don't be taking drugs,(mcat) cuz ur a father now. Which he put in the letter as wel. But because he put in the letter he felt he was being BULLIED I got suspended straight away, with pay. When I went to meeting I jus says that he was probably having a bad day at work.i just don't wana get sacked over this petty incident.

[BazzaS]

Hi, I was suspended from work on the 3rd of October cuz one of my colleagues, who I tort of as my only friend, wrote a letter of complaint against me. I have known him for over a year now as we both started the company on the same day. I met him on the interview day. Any way since then we have become quite close in and out of work. We work night shifts in a warehouse. The day the incident took place, which was the 28th of September he actually complained to the supervisor that night requesting that I don't speak to him. The supervisor came over to me and said that he's having personal problems and that I should not tease him. So I stopped!!! Ther was 2 hours left of the shift. The next night I didn't say a word to him. I had two days of and when I came in that's when my supervisor suspended me and showed me the letter. I've had an investigatory meeting to establish what happened. It's been 7 days since the meeting and I'm still waiting waiting for the outcome. Please help!!!

 

Let's look at what you have described.

 

" The supervisor came over to me and said that he's having personal problems and that I should not tease him. So I stopped!!!" seems to imply that you were teasing him, at least to some extent, and admitted it. The problem is that what is one person's teasing is another's bullying, and what can be seen as "playful banter" one time can be perceived as "vicious bullying" another time.

 

Now, Imagine it isn't you who has written, imagine someone you don't know has written it, and that you are reading it, not knowing them at all.

 

Looking at it from 2 possible extremes, it could be:

 

1) Person A & B work together. Person A sometimes gently teases Person B, It doesn't usually bother Person B but due to them having a tough time of it, it has on the night of 28th September, so person B mentions it to Supervisor C, who asks B if they want to make a formal complaint, as they can only become involved if a formal complaint is made. B only complains as they feel they have to. C tells A not to speak to B for the rest of the shift, but starts the investigatory process in motion......

 

2) Person B is shy & never "wants to make trouble". They've been bullied since school, and it shows in how they react : it is almost like they have a target on their back.

They started a job a year ago. Person A started at the same time. Person A doesn't have many friends & hasn't got the greatest of social skills. They haven't picked up that B doesn't really like them but puts up with them because they started at the same time and doesn't like to kick up a fuss. Person B particularly doesn't like it when A teases them, which had happened from day 1, but after dropping hints to A about it was ignored, they've "just put up with it".

Finally, after going through a bad patch, B snaps when A teases them on 28rh September, goes to a supervisor and says "I'm putting in a formal grievance about A, he has no friends and has teased me since day 1. He won't stop, even though I've tried to get him to do so, and with what is going in my personal life I can't take it any more, nor should I have to! Tell him to not even speak to me the rest of this shift, and sort them out!"

 

It could be anywhere between situation 1) and 2).

I bet you are seeing it as situation 1.

 

So, what have you been accused of?. Over what time frame?? What did you say during the investigatory meeting (did you have a witness present too?)

 

If they decide to hold a disciplinary meeting : is it possible it might be any more towards situation 2 than purely situation 1?

If so, what approach do you think you ought to take?

 

Edited to add : OP has added more detail while I was typing above response

[BazzaS]

I was saying things like don't be taking drugs,(mcat) cuz ur a father now. Which he put in the letter as wel. But because he put in the letter he felt he was being BULLIED I got suspended straight away, with pay. When I went to meeting I jus says that he was probably having a bad day at work.i just don't wana get sacked over this petty incident.

 

Suspension (with pay) may not feel like it is a "neutral act", but it is meant to be neutral (after all, the company is still paying you, while not getting work/output from you!)

 

If he says "I was offended by the unfounded accusation of drug taking", but your response is "he was just having a bad day, he should just put up with banter!", then there is a gulf in perceptions there, still......

 

If it is just that one episode, you could always apologise for unintended offence, and note that you'll be more careful in future. Was it just that one occasion that has been alledged?

[Badluck123]

It was just the one time it happened. I says in my meeting that if he had approached me and said listen I'm having some personal probls so please leave me alone then I would've fully respected that and not says a word to him. I've apologised and said that I had no intentions whatsoever of causing any problems. Also I pointed out in the meeting that when supervisor approached me to tell me to stop I fully did. I just tort a good night sleep would be the remedy cuz for most things it is. This guy I think has just taken it to personal. The witnesses he has stated in his letter have refused to make any statement cuz they didn't see or hear anything that night. So I don't know where I stand. I answered all the questions in the best way possible.

[BazzaS]

It was just the one time it happened. I says in my meeting that if he had approached me and said listen I'm having some personal probls so please leave me alone then I would've fully respected that and not says a word to him. I've apologised and said that I had no intentions whatsoever of causing any problems. Also I pointed out in the meeting that when supervisor approached me to tell me to stop I fully did. I just tort a good night sleep would be the remedy cuz for most things it is. This guy I think has just taken it to personal. The witnesses he has stated in his letter have refused to make any statement cuz they didn't see or hear anything that night. So I don't know where I stand. I answered all the questions in the best way possible.

 

You might want to reign in your apparent views on how you think he should deal with it by "stopping taking it too personally" or "have a good nights sleep to fix it".

The solution lies in concentrating less on how you think it should impact / how you think he should deal with it, and more on understanding it is about how he feels rather than how you think he should feel .....

[Badluck123]

I have a excellent record at work, no previous problems, excellent attendance and the supervisors regiulary acknowledge the work I do as we work in a pressurised environment. I work through my break times most nights. I am a very good worker. So I just don't know where this will go. I should've received some sort of letter but I haven't yet.

[Badluck123]

I have recommended that myself and my colleague can still work together and all we need to do is sit down and talk. There is no reason that anyone should be getting dismissed for this. A same incident occurred a few weeks ago when two employees nearly had a fight. One of the workers went straight home and next day went to the main manager and says he felt like he was being bullied and requested a week of for stress. Nothing more happened. Where as in my case the company are following procedure for some reason.

[Badluck123]

I didn't even accuse him about taking drugs I just asked him. I would expect the same from him if it was the other way around. I would deal with matters informally first of all and it usually works. We have problems with people at work everyday, if I start writing complaints everyday I would probably get sacked.

My main concern is do you think this is a sackable offence considering all the info.

[rebel11]

Hi Badluck123

 

Can you post in one post, use the edit facility, it makes it easier to follow.

[Badluck123]

I've learnt that you should never get too close to people at work or consider them friends. It's a horrible experience for me at the moment. I just want the matter dealt with. If they decide to sack me then that would be unfair. I've done a lot for this guy in and out of work. It's sad times. Peopl are difficult to deal with.

[BazzaS]

I didn't even accuse him about taking drugs I just asked him. I would expect the same from him if it was the other way around. I would deal with matters informally first of all and it usually works. We have problems with people at work everyday, if I start writing complaints everyday I would probably get sacked.

My main concern is do you think this is a sackable offence considering all the info.

 

You are again focusing on how YOU would deal with this.

He isn't you..

 

As for ", if I start writing complaints everyday I would probably get sacked. " ; are you suggesting he had started writing complaints everyday, or has he just complained about YOU?

 

If he has issued a grievance and they find it has substance, he can't be faulted for issuing the grievance

 

I doubt the initial event could be viewed as "gross misconduct", especially if it seems unlikely to recurr

Your failure to accept that you may have done wrong and expecting the victim of your misdeed to "suck it up" and not formally complain may prove to be more of an issue .....

 

"My actions were wrong, and I apologize unreservedly for any unintended offence" sounds great, but is ruined by "..... But he never should have complained!"

[Badluck123]

I understand what you are saying.

I have to look at this professionally.

Anyway he only wrote this one complaint about me.

 

My supervisors and managers know that this will never reoccurr as it stopped straightaway the night I was told not to say anything. He even stated that in the letter too.

 

I just hope these factors go for me.

I don't see this as gross misconduct and I'm hoping my managers will have the same view.

 

The only reason I'm saying he shouldn't of complained is cuz he should've just spoken to me first. It would never had come this far. That's my point.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Badluck123

[Badluck123]

Anyway I'm grateful for your time and advice. As I can see this from another perspective now.

[BazzaS]

Anyway I'm grateful for your time and advice. As I can see this from another perspective now.

 

 

You are welcome. I hope it doesn't come to a disciplinary, but if it did, you've just provided something important (regarding the different perspective) .......

"I apologize, and it won't happen again.

I hope you can see I never intended offence

I didn't realise at the time offence would be taken, but it was, and I can see how, now

 

This will help me avoid making a similar error in future....."

 

This says to the employer:

1) wasn't intentional

2) you accept your error

3) even though not intentional, also unlikely to re-occurr!