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Holiday gift now claimed to be owed


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Summary: ex girlfriend books a holiday and invites me along saying she will pay. (She came into £300,000 recently).

4 weeks after the holiday she decides to end the relationship and is now sending me emails asking me to pay back £700.

Can she take me to court ? Should I reply to the emails. ?

 

Apologies if this is the wrong section. I am new to the forum and very worried so posting out of desperation.

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I'm assuming that the idea of the holiday being a loan was never mentioned. I'm also assuming that she offered it to you and that you didn't ask her or you didn't suggest that you come along with her.

 

In that case, I really don't think that you have much to worry about. Don't ignore her messages. Send her one message laying out your position that she offered the holiday to you as an act of friendship and as an act of kindness and you accepted it on that basis. Explain that at no time was it ever suggested or contemplated that the holiday amount to a loan to you and that there were any conditions or that they would ever need to be a repayment.

 

Tell her that you do not owe her anything and you won't be entering into any further communication with her. Tell her that if she wants to make an issue of it then she should start a small claim in the County Court and you will be happy to put your case to the judge.

 

Tell her that if she does not do this, then that if she continues to send you further emails about this then you will take it as sign of harassment and consider your position accordingly.

 

Send that email of. Make sure that you keep copies. Make sure you keep copies of any other messages that she sends to you. Make sure that you do not contact her on the telephone and make sure that if she contact you on the telephone that you keep it as short as possible – but keep it polite – and record the calls.

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Summary: ex girlfriend books a holiday and invites me along saying she will pay. (She came into £300,000 recently).

4 weeks after the holiday she decides to end the relationship and is now sending me emails asking me to pay back £700.

Can she take me to court ? Should I reply to the emails. ?

 

Apologies if this is the wrong section. I am new to the forum and very worried so posting out of desperation.

 

Reply to the emails. Keep them factual & non-emotive.

 

State that your understanding was that the holiday was a gift (accepted in the knowledge of her recent inheritance), and that you never agreed to contribute towards it.

 

Can she take you to court?. Yes, in so far as "anyone can take anyone to court", so yes, she might try.

There is a world of difference between trying & succeeding, though.

If it came to it it would be for a judge to weigh the evidence / statements of both parties.

 

Edited to add; another poster has answered, on similar lines. Sorry for any duplication : we were typing at the same time.

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Thanks for the advice and wording. Extremely useful. . Much appreciated.

But next 'curve ball' question:

If she does decided to take me to small claims court ... can I counter claim the following:

1) I did some work for her designing her company logo ... I also helped her out with some work on site ... I also bought her a very expensive watch for her running.

Can I counter claim that I want those gifts back in the same court hearing.

How would I roughly go about this ? (May need wording and procedure advice later)

 

Note: I don't want to get this petty.. but I am not willing to just walk into court and let her claim back a gift without a fight .

Of course I hope she just drops her vendetta and leaves me alone :)

Many thanks in advance for any help... It really is appreciated.

Respect. Silky

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Thanks for the advice and wording. Extremely useful. . Much appreciated.

But next 'curve ball' question:

If she does decided to take me to small claims court ... can I counter claim the following:

1) I did some work for her designing her company logo ... I also helped her out with some work on site ... I also bought her a very expensive watch for her running.

Can I counter claim that I want those gifts back in the same court hearing.

How would I roughly go about this ? (May need wording and procedure advice later)

 

Note: I don't want to get this petty.. but I am not willing to just walk into court and let her claim back a gift without a fight .

Of course I hope she just drops her vendetta and leaves me alone :)

Many thanks in advance for any help... It really is appreciated.

Respect. Silky

 

What was the agreement regarding the logo, work, & watch?

 

I note that you describe them as "gifts". That on its own is likely fatal to any claim by you : if they were gifts how can you claim for them?

(In the same way as she can't claim the holiday cost if she gifted it to you)

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Test the ground by sending this text/email:

'As you want me to pay for the holiday that you invited me to and referred to as a treat to me, Can you please return my watch that I lent you?'

She can't prove that the watch was a gift and you can't prove that the holiday was a gift.

Even and sealed in writing.

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Test the ground by sending this text/email:

'As you want me to pay for the holiday that you invited me to and referred to as a treat to me, Can you please return my watch that I lent you?'

She can't prove that the watch was a gift and you can't prove that the holiday was a gift.

Even and sealed in writing.

 

I disagree.

 

She doesn't have to prove anything -

1) a court would make a decision on balance of evidence, not conclusive proof

2) on a moral rather than legal ground, why behave badly just because she has,

3) on a legal rather than moral ground, if she has seen this thread, and recognised herself, the OP admitting the watch was a gift would be highly persuasive ......

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I disagree.

 

 

 

She doesn't have to prove anything -

 

1) a court would make a decision on balance of evidence, not conclusive proof

 

2) on a moral rather than legal ground, why behave badly just because she has,

 

3) on a legal rather than moral ground, if she has seen this thread, and recognised herself, the OP admitting the watch was a gift would be highly persuasive ......

And what evidence has she got that the holiday cost had to be split?

A good judge (mind the word good and read on) would see such claim as petty and vindictive imo.

On a moral ground, the op is facing threats of court action based on a lie, I don't see anything wrong with testing the ground and see if she backs off.

Accordingly to the op she started behaving badly and asking for money.

The op could even claim that the logo he designed has been unpaid despite a verbal agreement, not uncommon between partners.

I would try to avoid court at all costs, given how good some women are at crying and acting in front of strangers (the judge) who could be fooled into thinking she's a victim rather than a greedy and vindictive person.

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And what evidence has she got that the holiday cost had to be split?

.

 

She hasn't, and given the combination of

a) his claim it was a gift, and

b) her inheritance, where such a gift is entirely likely,

 

The OP's statements are entirely believable.

Why risk that by then making claims she CAN PROVE are lies?

 

A good judge (mind the word good and read on) would see such claim as petty and vindictive imo.

On a moral ground, the op is facing threats of court action based on a lie, I don't see anything wrong with testing the ground and see if she backs off.

Accordingly to the op she started behaving badly and asking for money.

The op could even claim that the logo he designed has been unpaid despite a verbal agreement, not uncommon between partners.

I would try to avoid court at all costs, given how good some women are at crying and acting in front of strangers (the judge) who could be fooled into thinking she's a victim rather than a greedy and vindictive person.

 

I agree with avoiding court where possible.

However, doing so by (provably!) bad behaviour is risky, if it then does go to court.

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I don't understand how asking to be paid for designing a logo or returning a watch amounts to bad behaviour when the ex is asking for money unfairly.

She can't have it both ways: They either return all the gifts to each other and pay for services provided or she leaves everything as it is and goes away.

She's claiming the holiday was not a gift and so the op could make the same claim about the logo or anything else.

No proof whatsoever from either part.

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I don't understand how asking to be paid for designing a logo or returning a watch amounts to bad behaviour when the ex is asking for money unfairly.

She can't have it both ways: They either return all the gifts to each other and pay for services provided or she leaves everything as it is and goes away.

She's claiming the holiday was not a gift and so the op could make the same claim about the logo or anything else.

No proof whatsoever from either part.

 

If the ex-gf recognises her situation from here & has saved evidence where the OP admits the logo & watch were gifts ;

1) it is bad behaviour to claim something wasn't a gift when it was given as a gift

2) her doing so means she has behaved badly, and that doesn't mean he should do so too,

3) her being able to show he has lied about the "gifts he gave not being gifts" would enable her to challenge his credibility in her case where she claims the holiday wasn't a gift from her, and he claims it was a gift from her.

 

It isn't about who has behaved badly, it is about who would be more believable in court. I suggest that is the key determinant on if she'd go to court.

 

At the moment if it went to court he'd likely win.

Your advice risks the possibility of reversing that......

 

You say "no proof" : but his postings on here might form evidence if he followed your advice to say "watch & logo weren't gifts" when he has stated here that they were....

 

How likely is it that there is someone else:

1) whose gf came into £300k-odd

2) who took their bf on holiday

3) which couple split, with a later disagreement over payment for the holiday,

4) where the bf had gifted the gf a watch, and designed a logo, as a gift .....

 

If she has seen this thread, she'll be rubbing her hands with glee if he follows your advice......

He'll go from a credible witness to a provable liar

She'll have the text message from him, and the posting from here, and it will be obvious the posting here describes their (rather than anyone else's situation)

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If the ex-gf recognises her situation from here & has saved evidence where the OP admits the logo & watch were gifts ;

 

1) it is bad behaviour to claim something wasn't a gift when it was given as a gift

 

2) her doing so means she has behaved badly, and that doesn't mean he should do so too,

 

3) her being able to show he has lied about the "gifts he gave not being gifts" would enable her to challenge his credibility in her case where she claims the holiday wasn't a gift from her, and he claims it was a gift from her.

 

 

 

It isn't about who has behaved badly, it is about who would be more believable in court. I suggest that is the key determinant on if she'd go to court.

 

 

 

At the moment if it went to court he'd likely win.

 

Your advice risks the possibility of reversing that......

 

 

 

You say "no proof" : but his postings on here might form evidence if he followed your advice to say "watch & logo weren't gifts" when he has stated here that they were....

 

 

 

How likely is it that there is someone else:

 

1) whose gf came into £300k-odd

 

2) who took their bf on holiday

 

3) which couple split, with a later disagreement over payment for the holiday,

 

4) where the bf had gifted the gf a watch, and designed a logo, as a gift .....

 

 

 

If she has seen this thread, she'll be rubbing her hands with glee if he follows your advice......

 

He'll go from a credible witness to a provable liar

 

She'll have the text message from him, and the posting from here, and it will be obvious the posting here describes their (rather than anyone else's situation)

Fair enough, even if I think you're overestimating the cag popularity.

I still think that if he went to court he would risk finding a soft judge who would believe a crying ex girlfriend mistreated and not appreciated for the length of the relationship and also used as a cash machine when money flooded her pockets.

He could be seen as the monster boyfriend lazing in the sofa all day drunk as a fish.

Sorry to disagree, but I would take the risk of asking to take this post down and send her the message so to avoid court at all costs.

I was in a similar situation once and someone was asking for money for a car they'd given me and I repaired at my own large costs.

They even went to the extent of falsifying a sale receipt claiming that money was due in instalments.

Some people need a noisy wake up call to stop bothering others.

I know this might prove very unpopular with some caggers, but sometimes harsh measures are needed to combat vicious people in my experience.

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In any case, as we are all morally orientated here, why don't we suggest to the op to give her the money she claims so to morally smack her in the face?

That would surely shut her up and make the op look like a person of higher lever than her.

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In any case, as we are all morally orientated here, why don't we suggest to the op to give her the money she claims so to morally smack her in the face?

That would surely shut her up and make the op look like a person of higher lever than her.

 

Since it is equally morally wrong to give in to her bad behaviour......

 

My viewpoint is influenced by the morality, but equally also the practicality of the situation.

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Fair enough, even if I think you're overestimating the cag popularity.

I still think that if he went to court he would risk finding a soft judge who would believe a crying ex girlfriend mistreated and not appreciated for the length of the relationship and also used as a cash machine when money flooded her pockets.

He could be seen as the monster boyfriend lazing in the sofa all day drunk as a fish.

Sorry to disagree, but I would take the risk of asking to take this post down and send her the message so to avoid court at all costs.

I was in a similar situation once and someone was asking for money for a car they'd given me and I repaired at my own large costs.

They even went to the extent of falsifying a sale receipt claiming that money was due in instalments.

Some people need a noisy wake up call to stop bothering others.

I know this might prove very unpopular with some caggers, but sometimes harsh measures are needed to combat vicious people in my experience.

 

"He who comes to equity must come with clean hands"

You are suggesting he dirties his hands.

Fair enough as it became (in Tinsley v Milligan) "he who comes to equity must come with clean hands - unless your hands are dirty but can be stuffed in a pocket so the dirt isn't visible"

 

You are suggesting the OP "dirties his hands" and then hides those dirty hands by deleting the post here.

That risks the ex-gf not already having seen the post

It risks the ex-gf not having a copy of an email or text where the logo or watch were described as a gift.

 

It means the OP dirtying their hands, which they might not be able to hide.......

We can't stop the ex-gf lying : and it MIGHT benefit her.

However, the truth has the benefit of only having to remember the one version, and you can't get caught out in a lie over it. This is why I suggest the OP consider carefully before going down that route.

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I simply suggested what I would do to avoid court:

1. Use same weapon of the enemy and take a risk

2. Pay up and delete the gf from memory

 

There's also the option of letting her do whatever she wants and end up in court hoping for a judge who can see past the crying and moaning of a vindictive ex gf

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I simply suggested what I would do to avoid court:

1. Use same weapon of the enemy and take a risk

2. Pay up and delete the gf from memory

 

There's also the option of letting her do whatever she wants and end up in court hoping for a judge who can see past the crying and moaning of a vindictive ex gf

 

Other (better?) option to avoid court: reply "take me to court, you'll loose".....

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