Living at my EX for 2 nights a week - will it affect her benefits?

[play]

My ex has recently got a temporary studio flat from the council with a view to getting her on the council property list. She is not currently working (FT mum) as we have a baby of 9 months. So naturally she is recieving the usual benefits (housing, IS, and whatever she is eligible for ect...)

 

We broke up on good terms and she allowed me to stay weekends at her previous address (her mums) so i can spend time with my daughter as she lives quite far. At that time she wasn't receiving benefits.

 

Now she is not letting me stay at her temporary place in fear that the council and the benefit agency will claim that we are living as a couple.

 

I dont contribute to any of her bills or pay for any child care (officially) or have anything that links me to her address. I live at my parents and pay rent as well as the phone bill and internet. All my bank accounts are registered at my parents, my driving licence and car are all registered at my parents where i actually live for 5 days a week.

 

If i stay 2 nights a week (on the sofa no doubt!) should she have anything to worry about.

 

I have done some googleling and it seems that if i can prove that i'm not living there. That we should have nothing to worry about.

 

She also claims the Landlord (who works for the council) said she is not suppose to have visitors, i believe that is false as i'm sure that is against human rights!

[SabreSheep]

OK

 

1) Not allowed visitors - (Check the tenancy agreement)

2) If you can prove that you are paying to live somewhere else eg rent, bills etc, then you cannot be living in 2 places at once. The hard part here is that you pay your rent to your parents which in the eyes of the council degrades the evidence a little.

[Ros1609]

I would say its dodgy ground. Could you not just visit in the day time or meet in a place thats halfway between houses? I appreciate you want to spend time with your daughter but surely you would rather see her a little less often but know her mum is able to take care of her by receiving everything she is entitled too and it not be suspended because someone has reported you?

[play]

I would say its dodgy ground. Could you not just visit in the day time or meet in a place thats halfway between houses? I appreciate you want to spend time with your daughter but surely you would rather see her a little less often but know her mum is able to take care of her by receiving everything she is entitled too and it not be suspended because someone has reported you?

 

Thats what she wants to do now, but its not ideal. I need to spend the weekend with my daughter as its the only time i have. She is the only thing that keeps me going, and i dont want to see her less.

Edited September 19, 2014 by play

[play]

OK

 

1) Not allowed visitors - (Check the tenancy agreement)

2) If you can prove that you are paying to live somewhere else eg rent, bills etc, then you cannot be living in 2 places at once. The hard part here is that you pay your rent to your parents which in the eyes of the council degrades the evidence a little.

 

Thank you

 

Thats a point regarding the Tenancy agreement, i will check that today. If there is nothing on the agreement regarding visitors i assume that i can stay for a couple of nights without affecting my ex's benefit's? The main thing is i'm not staying as a couple, i am only staying so i can spend the weekend with my daughter. Its more convienient like that.

If there is a visitor clause in the agreement, will that affect her benefit's? or just her tenancy?

 

Regarding the rent, i do realise that, however when i take money out of my account, i pay it into my old mans account on the same day. This shows a bit of consistancy hopefully. The telephone landline and internet is under my name as well as bank accounts, credit cards, driving licence, car and all my belongings (which is a lot)! I'm sure this is enough evidence that i live at my parents.

 

Thank You in Advance

[Ros1609]

Thats what she wants to do now, but its not ideal. I need to spend the weekend with my daughter as its the only time i have. She is the only thing that keeps me going, and i dont want to see her less.

 

I appreciate its not ideal. Could your daughter not stay overnight with you or will that have to wait until she is older? Or maybe your ex is trying to politely hint she doesn't want you to stay overnight anymore?

[Madamfluff]

My ex has recently got a temporary studio flat from the council with a view to getting her on the council property list. She is not currently working (FT mum) as we have a baby of 9 months. So naturally she is recieving the usual benefits (housing, IS, and whatever she is eligible for ect...)

 

We broke up on good terms and she allowed me to stay weekends at her previous address (her mums) so i can spend time with my daughter as she lives quite far. At that time she wasn't receiving benefits.

 

Now she is not letting me stay at her temporary place in fear that the council and the benefit agency will claim that we are living as a couple.

 

I dont contribute to any of her bills or pay for any child care (officially) or have anything that links me to her address. I live at my parents and pay rent as well as the phone bill and internet. All my bank accounts are registered at my parents, my driving licence and car are all registered at my parents where i actually live for 5 days a week.

 

If i stay 2 nights a week (on the sofa no doubt!) should she have anything to worry about.

 

I have done some googleling and it seems that if i can prove that i'm not living there. That we should have nothing to worry about.

 

She also claims the Landlord (who works for the council) said she is not suppose to have visitors, i believe that is false as i'm sure that is against human rights!

 

 

What do you mean by you don't pay for child care officially, if your ex is getting income based benefits she has to declare any income she gets, if you pay her childcare and she hasn't notified the benefits agency or the council (for HB and CTC) then that could be seen as fraud, if you pay her cash so it doesn't show up on any bank statements she may have to produce to prove her income and entitlement to income based benefits then I believe it is actually fraud

[play]

What do you mean by you don't pay for child care officially, if your ex is getting income based benefits she has to declare any income she gets, if you pay her childcare and she hasn't notified the benefits agency or the council (for HB and CTC) then that could be seen as fraud, if you pay her cash so it doesn't show up on any bank statements she may have to produce to prove her income and entitlement to income based benefits then I believe it is actually fraud

 

no what i mean is i will buy my daughter necessities such as milk powder and stuff, she never ask for it. i do for my little one. I never give cash to my ex and she never ask.

[antone]

You should not be seen as living with your ex under current regulations. But having said that, there's one thing to note: "living together" isn't actually defined in law.

 

Here's what I mean: if there is ever a question about whether two people are "living together as a married couple" then it is considered by a DWP or council Decision Maker (DM), and each individual case is considered on its merits. There is no specific law which defines what "living together" means.

 

So, when deciding whether or not you "live with" this lady, a DM would be expected to apply a general "common sense" definition of "living together" (and sorry for all the "" marks.)

 

Possible considerations would be:

 

• Is this the address at which you pay Council Tax, or is it otherwise your normal residence?
  
• How many nights do you spend there?
  
• Are your bills sent to another address?
  
• Where would most people say you live?
  
• Is her address where you have your Driving Licence, electricity bill or other major expenses
  
• Do you share the cost of living there with her - that is, the rent or mortgage?
  
• Why do you spend time at her address?
  
• Would most people see you as a couple?
  
• Do you pay rent somewhere else?
  

I know that sounds vague, but if I were a DM then based on the evidence, I would not see you as a couple. You can read more information here.

[Madamfluff]

no what i mean is i will buy my daughter necessities such as milk powder and stuff, she never ask for it. i do for my little one. I never give cash to my ex and she never ask.

 

 

So exactly why are you not providing for your own child officially in the form of child support, why are you expecting the tax payer (ie people like me) to feed house and clothe your child

[ericsbrother]

to answer you question about how often someone stays to be considered to be living together it is usually more than 3 night a week. As said, this is not hard and fast as they will consider the relationship more than just the times you stop there.

[antone]

So exactly why are you not providing for your own child officially in the form of child support, why are you expecting the tax payer (ie people like me) to feed house and clothe your child

 

There is no requirement for an "official" child support arrangement if the parents agree on something else. Maintenance payments are fully disregarded for all benefits - "the taxpayer" is paying exactly the same either way.

[tomtom256]

to answer you question about how often someone stays to be considered to be living together it is usually more than 3 night a week. As said, this is not hard and fast as they will consider the relationship more than just the times you stop there.

 

Thats an old wives tale. There is no set amount of time for someone to be classed as living somewhere.

 

Take a long distance lorry driver. 5 days out of 7 on the road, under your 3 nights a week rule, he would live in his lorry.

 

LA's and the DWP look and 6 strands when making a decision on were someone lives.

[play]

So exactly why are you not providing for your own child officially in the form of child support, why are you expecting the tax payer (ie people like me) to feed house and clothe your child

 

chill out man, i ain't [problem]ming the system. I pay as much tax as the next working man and never claimed a dime from the government ever. My ex also was working full time before she decided to become a full time parent (She also has never claimed any handouts before). She has not requested i pay child support as she knows I'm in a very difficult financial situation. So get off your high horse before judging others.

 

Thank you for all the other helpful replies.