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After 4 long years of battling with my mortgage lender

 

I'm rehoused with my Family.

 

It's a big end terraced house with a Housing Association but I've been so positive for everyone including my husband over the past 4 years.

 

That I'm just not getting the house I've moved into.

 

I've had this overwhelming feeling of gloom and just want to cry.

 

When I was unpacking things from my repossessed house it just felt like a death.

 

My children seem happy they all have their own rooms.

 

The past 4 years have been compounded at the start with myself having septic shock in hospital and didn't recover until 4 months later,

 

My son and his wife losing their Baby Boy halfway through the pregnancy my mother's incurable cancer

appearing in her brain she died sept 2010.

 

My husband suffering mental health issues.

 

Issues with my mortgage lender which only came to light when pushed to answer which have given them an unfair advantage.

 

Complaints about them to the FSA FOS only one upheld about arrears charges letters fees.

 

Now my repossessed house is up for sale below the market value 2 public notices of even lower offers which haven't come off.

 

The mortgage lender has now changed the mortgage payments due to include the arrears

so the money coming back off the arrears fees will be taken and not seen.

I know some people will be in the same position as me and think how can anyone feel like this.

 

I researched so much about my mortgage lenders actions in the beginning had support of local MP Local Council Housing Dept.

 

I haven't sat back on any of it even when I became homeless I was phoning the housing dept of my local council up to 3 times a week had interviews etc.

 

I'm self employed but a serious downturn in business hasn't helped to of looked for a job

with all the stress I don't think that I could of kept one as my husband has some really bad days with his Mental Health issues.

 

I know if I was offered my repossessed house back I'd walk right back into it.

 

I'm back in an area I grew up in went to school and all the other things that happened in my life.

I feel like all my positive thoughts have just gone overnight.

 

I've stayed so positive until I walked into this house but just not feeling any good vibes about it.

Edited by citizenB
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Loss takes many roads and it does seem you have had much to contend with. The death of your mother is cruel. Your repossessed house is like a death as well as it was taken from you, but you are strong. What is the nature of your husbands condition. I try, in times of struggle to find time to sit quite and just clear out all thoughts that are not helpful and replace them with nice thoughts, like a sun setting, or a picture of a favourite place. I don't know you, but if you need to cry, in those quite moments, you should do so knowing that people do care. I wish you well..

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You certainly have had more than your fair share of misery over the past few years - I would say you have earned the right to have a good weep.

 

However, I would suggest you speak to your GP - they can refer you to a counsellor who will let you talk through your situation in complete confidence. Sometimes it is good to share how you feel with a complete stranger.


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I am not quite sure of what your mortgage lender is doing - so will try and find someone who might be able to advise on that for you :)


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PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

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My daughter is feeling the same she is 18 still at college.

 

My Husband has panic attacks anxiety but this has been his problem for over 20years.

 

As I nursed him back from a nervous breakdown.

 

The house I'm in is one someone in my position would love to have but I'm just not feeling like it's home.

 

I lived in my house for exactly 25 years a council house then I bought it 10 yrs ago.I've since heard from my son ringing up the estate agent that an offer of 182.000 has been accepted but I've only seen a public notice for 185.000 and another for 181.000 but no more notices in the local free advertiser, the area is one where I went to school but not the best now and I think that also is another factor.

 

I discussed it with my daughter and I reckon we'll only be here a year then I'll go on home swapper.

 

I was staying at my father's house the other side of this area which is better until I was rehoused.I'm walking around wondering why it's come to all this it feels like a dream.

 

My house was put through the GMRS but the house was well over the capped amount the mortgage lender just used it as a forebearance tool looks like they are helping but in the end they weren't.

 

Thanks for all the replies it does help to know that people care.

Edited by citizenB
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The mortgage lender has now changed the mortgage payments due to include the arrears so the money coming back off the arrears fees will be taken and not seen. I know some people will be in the same position as me and think how can anyone feel like this.

 

 

 

Hi Lolly, I'm not sure what you mean by this - if the house is repossessed you won't be making any payments. When lenders charge arrears/legal fees they are added to the outstanding mortgage, if they are refunded they are then deducted from the outstanding mortgage and do not clear the arrears. i.e. if your mortgage is £100,000 and you have £3,000 arrears charges added the outstanding mortgage is then £103,000 - if your arrears are £2,000 then the outstanding amount is £105,000. When the lender refunds the arrears charges of £3,000 the outstanding mortgage reduces to £102,000 so the arrears of £2,000 are still owed.

 

 

If you are on an interest only mortgage then you will pay increased monthly payments if the outstanding balance is higher than the amount you originally borrowed. If you are making payments on a £100,000 mortgage at say £500 per month, then arrears charges and missed payments are added, the monthly payment could increase to, say, £525 as the interest is calculated on the outstanding balance. (these figures are for example only).


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Thanks what I meant was that the Mortgage lender has to take the fee charges off the outstanding balance but they then went and recalculated the mortgage monthly payment to include the arrears doubling the mortgage repayments per month.As they are selling it under the market value this makes it a win situation for them as I complained of the valuation but their argument will be that the arrears are building up more so it has to be sold at any price.I know I won't get anything except about £10,000 of unsecured debt to add to some I have.It's just having spent so much time looking into everything for 4 years thinking deep and thinking how they would think and how to they make everything to their advantage.

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Still fighting with my negative thoughts.Been in my house now since march 1st but honestly and truthfully I'm not settled here and really when I can I'll be looking for a swap.I thought after all My family had been through this would be a new start I even was so positive about it all.I don't yearn for my old house or even dream of being back in it.It's sold now.This House is a massive Victorian end terrace 3 floors massive cellars but I haven't fallen in love with it at all I keep trying but I just don't get any vibes from it.We've furnished it nicely the children have their own rooms.It's like a house you'd see on property programmes and I'd wish I had one like it.My health has been rubbish since moving in infection in my lung ongoing sinus problems feeling so tired back at hospital this month for my lungs.I'm usually so positive even cooking is a chore!I'm grateful for being rehoused some people are not so lucky from what I read on here and other websites.I suppose it'll take time to re-adjust to it all....Just posting how it is from another point of view.

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Have you been referred to a counsellor yet ? - If you are feeling poorly within your body then mentally you will strive to pull yourself up as well. Just take it one day at a time :)


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PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

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Thanks haven't seen anyone.Ironic that for 24 yrs I've supported my husband with his mental health issues reading researching his issues and understanding where he was coming from at the time not even my family knew how to cope with it all the days before anyone acknowledged Mental Health.I'll keep going just take it as it comes.I am grateful,My children started this journey still at school and college now three have got wonderful well paid full time work something so hard to come by nowadays.Just one left at school in the last year.I'm a creative Artistic person but even some of the things I'd enjoy I don't find the interest.I do love reading too something in my frame of mind I can do all day at the moment.I don't have sleepless nights.It's a big adjustment I know that but I'm sure it'll come together so way or another.One day at a time that's all I can do.

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Ello pot I'm kettle I HEAR you & your sooooo not alone with how you feel, or how you've dealt with things.....

 

My story is very much the same meat different gravy (tho admittedly your spiral is a bit bigger & bit bumpier than mine)

 

We finally got evicted 18th June 2013 after a yucky chain of events & I've ONLY just managed to face admitting it on here partly because the I feel I've let the shining star of the North down (aka Ell-enn) who was truly amazing so many times & is secretly my hero *but shhhh don't tell her she doesn't really do 'mush'*

 

over a year later i STILL feel like i need to go 'home' & like u i'm obvs grateful to be rehoused as a family & I often tell myself to get a grip it's only bricks & mortar (so why doesn't it feel like it?)

 

like u i spent sooo much time & energy shielding everyone around me, taking their emotions on my shoulders worrying about them etc etc that i kinda forgot about me.......

 

this post is NOT to make u feel worse BTW it's more to let u know there are other women out there (i'm guessing!?) like you & me & though your story is truly awful I was almost pleased to see it (i hope that doesn't sound too twisted & doesn't read wrong?)

 

In my darkest moments (when i feel alone tho i'm surrounded by people) I try to remember that happiness is a decision we make each morning & NOT a state of mind, that noetic physics has PROVEN that PMA (positive mental attitude) does have a mass therefore it really does make a difference & if they don't work i smile sweetly fart a silent but deadly & leave the room...... hey nothing will ever make me COMPLETELY grow-up

 

WE CAN'T have rainbows without a little rain, so around the corner sometime soon there's a big arsed one for each of us cos lots of rain = extra big rainbows

 

there's so much more i could say in this reply but I hope in some way it helped?? & i hope that other people in similar situations who feel blue read it & pass by to say yeah me too xx

 

ps i haven't been to the docs either but i find exercise really does help (something to do with eddy-the-dolphin) I LOVE to dance so that's my de-stresser start doing a little exercise daily & u will start to feel differently (i think!?):???:


what goes around comes around

EVERY cloud does have a silver lining you just have to look really REALLY hard sometimes..

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Dehowletts - you have been soooo brave throughout your troubles (and you should know better than think we'd feel you'd let us down !). I was so proud of how you battled on, and I can only hope you feel relief that the situation has come to an end - please, please try to stay strong and be happy in your new surroundings.


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Ell-enn I'm getting there slowly - though it's like a doll's house to me & the ceilings are so low i can paint them without standing at the top of a ladder using a pole extension.....

 

I'm slowly removing the 50 shades of pooh the house was painted, my youngest's room was adult pooh colour, the living room baby pooh colour the landing a dark choc (why why WHY such dark colours with low ceilings?) my kitchen is now vanilla with the following on one wall "dance like no ones watching, wear flip flops & pretend it's summer, wake-up & be magnificent etc etc" which was needed as i'm trying to inject some character into it!?

 

I do mostly stay positive, I'm still not able to blame anyone but myself so I do kinda beat myself up now & then & go on a little guilt trip, but I've started teaching again so term time is nuts (imagine me in charge of our nations teenagers!? what is the world coming to?)

 

Good to 'see' you, I owe you so much dear lady & have learned so much from you, I hope you & yours are well? xx


what goes around comes around

EVERY cloud does have a silver lining you just have to look really REALLY hard sometimes..

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dehowletts.. the colours of your rooms prior to your moving in remind me of my first home.. the darkest of greens and browns were used on every wall - even though this was a Victorian terrace with high ceilings, it still felt as though I was living in a coffin !!


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PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

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I've been knitting like mad just simple things which occupy my mind...Just knitted 5 scarves this week...now onto a Baby Blanket...I've knitted since I was a child when I went to live at my father's I couldn't take everything like my sewing machine and all my books so I took my knitting.It helps to relax me.Yes some days are worse than others cooking is still a chore at times.I suppose it's my frame of mind at times thinking how hard I've worked over the years and now it's counted for nothing.Like said in the post up above it's only Bricks and Mortar and will still be there when I'm long gone.I used to power walk with my husband and we'd do over 6 miles a day around some lovely areas come rain or shine...that sort of came to a stop last year.I don't feel guilty about the situation and how it unfolded as I fought a long hard battle to keep my old house and really did expose my mortgage lender for what they were...A bunch of cowboys with lies and deception some people might argue well you lost your home but even the Agencies I spoke to face to face and my MP were horrified at how they got away with everything.

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Sorry to hear how things went for you.

 

Im glad you have somewhere safe to be at the moment and I am glad you have a wonderful family to look after you. You have been through so much and looked after them all through the toughest times I can imagine. You have been so strong for so long that I am not surprised that it took and does take its toll on you.

 

Also it is good to see that you are not blaming yourself anymore. You should blame the sharks that treated you in such a negative manner. It should be noted that in recent cases the courts and fca are begining to clamp down on lenders for things like that.

 

Excercise is good. Swimming?

 

GP is solid advice too. You cant continue the physical battle indefinitely without winning the mental one first!

 

Just remember what is most important to you. (Your family) Nothing else matters and I am sure in time you will get some form of justice!


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Thanks for your reply.Feeling like I'm getting there changed my kitchen table and chairs and it looks and feels different in the kitchen.Gone back power walking about 5-8 miles a day.I realised I can sit and feel awful or do something about it.Still knitting and reading but the darkness seems to be so much better.

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... some people are not so lucky ...

No, they aren't but that doesn't make your situation any the less disagreeable. Your situation sounds rather similar to mine, which I find very difficult to bear. I have no patience with people, usually considerably better off than me, who tell me that I should think myself lucky and count my blessings. It isn't for others to decide whether or not one is 'lucky' or 'relatively well off' if you find your situation difficult to cope with.

 

Just posting how it is from another point of view.

I know from my own circumstances that yours are unpleasant and I sympathise with you. I hope things have improved for you in the last nine months.


When you're chewing on life's gristle whistling rarely helps.

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Has it changed not much it still does not feel like home .It's furnished fine no problem there but if it was in an another area I'd be delighted.I'd love a car again so walking everywhere I refuse to pay for a bus ticket of over £4.00 a day to go anywhere.Life seems to be in one straight line back and forth I am in an area I went to school got married at the local church.I lived on this same road in rooms with my mum and dad when they had a house fire and lost everything in 1962.I honestly never thought I'd end up here in my late 50's just can't feel settled.Some people love a big house I feel overwhelmed some days by it.I will look for something smaller maybe through the swapper site or my local council.I can trade down when my older children leave home.Although does not look like it yet!I've put my 25 years in my old house on the back burner although I will never ever forgive my mortgage lender for selling me a sub-prime mortgage and writing incorrect information and not offering me a high st mortgage when I already had one with RBS then hiding behind the GMRS.What I say about them I won't repeat on here but I do believe that what I said on the day when I left My old property will stay with them all from beyond my grave.Even when I finally move to a place where I'll be so much happier I'll never forgive them all.

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