Where do I stand?

[Danro]

Hi All I am hoping to get some advice here as I have never had any experience in this kind of thing.

 

This is quite a long winded story but I will keep it as short as I can, I am just wondering if anyone knows what my rights are following this.

 

I am a chef and work in quite a busy restaurant and the last two days have been very hectic.

I have worked split shifts the last two days (6am-4pm then 6pm-11pm).

 

In this time my manager and her boyfriend have been off until 3pm today so have no idea how busy we have been the last couple of days,

we were quite short stocked today and told the front of house the numbers of the dishes we have.

 

Now at this point I have to say I am not the head chef and my responsibilities do not include ordering of stock etc.

 

After about 10 minutes of passing this information to front of house

the managers boyfriend comes to the kitchen with an attitude asking another sous chef why we only have x numbers of this and y numbers of that,

 

at this point I interjected and began to explain that we had extremely busy the last two days

but as I began to talk he put his hand up into my face and said with a condescending tone 'I was talking to him'.

 

I continued to try and explain and he repeated what he said again raising his hand in the direction of my face,

at this point I told him he was ignorant and rude and has no right to speak to me in such a manner

and certainly has no right to raise his hand the way he did (inside I was raging, literally shaking with anger).

 

I then turned away from him and walked to the back of the kitchen, picked up my belongings and left the premises.

 

I have since sent a message to the chef I was working with to apologies for leaving him like that and he is completely fine with the whole situation,

I also asked him should the need arise if would be my witness should I need one to which he said yes.

 

We work for a large company not a small independent privately owned one so I know there are procedures when it comes to these matters.

 

The way he acted for someone supposedly in a senior position was totally unprofessional,

I know it may sound like I am being a little delicate here

but I have never had anyone disrespect me in this way, certainly not someone I work with.

 

I did not say I resigned or was leaving, I just left so I just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation

or if any of you know where I stand with regards to my rights.

 

Statements have since been taken from all parties and I was told yesterday there will be a disciplinary hearing on friday,

it seems that they have chosen to ignore my grievance and are more interested in disciplining me.

 

The investigation was carried out by the manager who is also the girlfriend of the person

I have the problem with which I find odd as surely there is a conflict of interest there.

 

Also when I gave my initial statement to explain what had happened

the manager took notes and at the end of our meeting never offered me the chance to read and approve of her notes,

I have since been given a copy oc the notes and there are some discrepancies and things added that I didn't say.

 

The hearing is on friday and will be held in a sister restaurant because it was stated that to be impartial someone neutral should hold this,

but the person who will hold this disciplinary is in fact friends with the manager and her boyfriend.

 

I hope I have explained this well enough for people to understand, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank you

Daniel

[Emmzzi]

I think you are being delicate. You were asked not to speak, you persisted, and then you got angry. Then you left the building. None of that is professional either.

 

Any manager can hear the disciplinary, doesn't matter who is friends with who.

To the inaccurate notes, send them your amendments.

 

Are you in a union?

 

Do you have someone to attend with you to support at the hearing?

 

and

 

How do you feel about apologizing?

 

 

ETA: you refer to managers bf - I take it he is a supervisor or similar?

And your grievance - did you put a written grievance in?

[Danro]

I think you are being delicate. You were asked not to speak, you persisted, and then you got angry. Then you left the building. None of that is professional either.

 

Any manager can hear the disciplinary, doesn't matter who is friends with who.

To the inaccurate notes, send them your amendments.

 

Are you in a union?

 

Do you have someone to attend with you to support at the hearing?

 

and

 

How do you feel about apologizing?

 

 

ETA: you refer to managers bf - I take it he is a supervisor or similar?

And your grievance - did you put a written grievance in?

 

I agree it does sound like I am being petty with this but this isn't the first time this has happened, I previously let it slide but the line has to be drawn somewhere.

In addition to this he has done this on numerous occasions with other members of staff so its certainly not an isolated incident.

 

As far as anybody conducting the hearing, I have literally just past the place the hearing will be held and I kid you not the person I had the problem with was standing outside with the person due to hold the meeting smoking and laughing, now I am not saying this is not allowed but surely you can see this looks suspicious and certainly doesn't look impartial to me.

I have already apologised for the inconvenience caused and reiterated that it was not my intention to cause problems that evening but I won't be spoken to that way and certainly won't have someone raise their hand to my face.

I have not yet put my grievance into writting as I hoped this would be resolved with minimal fuss.

[Emmzzi]

You weren't spoken to that way until you inserted yourself into a situation.... if you want to get through this with a job I'd say you need to wind your neck in, you hold none of the strong cards. Suspicion isn't evidence I am afraid.

 

Again, what is bfs role in the business? You seem unable to even type his job title!

[Danro]

You weren't spoken to that way until you inserted yourself into a situation.... if you want to get through this with a job I'd say you need to wind your neck in, you hold none of the strong cards. Suspicion isn't evidence I am afraid.

 

Again, what is bfs role in the business? You seem unable to even type his job title!

 

His job title is assistant manager not that I see what difference it makes.

I was spoken to with an attitude initially as his tone was aggresive and condescending, I inserted myself into the conversation because he came in asking in a general direction and as I had been the senior chef working the previous two days I was in a more informed position to give an accurate answer to the questions he was rudely asking.

 

I hope this clears up any misunderstanding.

[Emmzzi]

His job title is assistant manager not that I see what difference it makes.

 

There's your problem.

[Danro]

There's your problem.

 

Please do go on.

[Emmzzi]

Please do go on.

 

I believe his role in the business does make a difference. You can't go arguing with the boss. You can have a calm conversation, sure, but that isn't what happened here.

 

However. Let's see if anyone else has a different view for you. In the meantime you have not answered the question on union membership or who is accompanying you to this meeting, which are useful things for people to know if they are helping you; also if they are acting in line with the written disciplinary procedure.

[Danro]

I believe his role in the business does make a difference. You can't go arguing with the boss. You can have a calm conversation, sure, but that isn't what happened here.

 

However. Let's see if anyone else has a different view for you. In the meantime you have not answered the question on union membership or who is accompanying you to this meeting, which are useful things for people to know if they are helping you; also if they are acting in line with the written disciplinary procedure.

 

I couldn't agree with you more, as I said in my op I had already explained to the manager the situation we were in and although she wasn't overly happy about it she accepted it and that was the end of the matter, it was only when the bf came to the kitchen with his attitude that things took a turn for the worse.

 

I am not a member of any union but I will be accompanied to the hearing by the chef who witnessed the event and has confirmed my side of events.

[king12345]

Advice for the future: these bullies need to be given a harsh lesson.

This is how I see it from a smartarse point of view:

He pushed his hand in your face twice, you feared for your safety because of his previous and constant aggressive behaviour and left the premises to go to a place of safety.

At this point you should have contacted hr and let them know of the situation.

Then you should have put everything in writing explaining that you didn't feel safe going back to work and you intended to report this threatening behaviour to the police.

Hr would have been on this bully's tail in no time.

No business wants the copper attending the premises to question the manager in front of customers.

I know it sounds extreme and not very manly, but bullies need to be fought with intelligence they lack.

They cover their ignorance with arrogance and being reasonable with them doesn't help.

They need to be shaken very robustly.

I'm against violence, hence my point above.

I strongly disagree with Emmzzi; the manager's gf cannot hold the disciplinary, her decision will be inevitably biased.

Hr should be aware of this and appoint another manager.

[Danro]

Advice for the future: these bullies need to be given a harsh lesson.

This is how I see it from a smartarse point of view:

He pushed his hand in your face twice, you feared for your safety because of his previous and constant aggressive behaviour and left the premises to go to a place of safety.

At this point you should have contacted hr and let them know of the situation.

Then you should have put everything in writing explaining that you didn't feel safe going back to work and you intended to report this threatening behaviour to the police.

Hr would have been on this bully's tail in no time.

No business wants the copper attending the premises to question the manager in front of customers.

I know it sounds extreme and not very manly, but bullies need to be fought with intelligence they lack.

They cover their ignorance with arrogance and being reasonable with them doesn't help.

They need to be shaken very robustly.

I'm against violence, hence my point above.

I strongly disagree with Emmzzi; the manager's gf cannot hold the disciplinary, her decision will be inevitably biased.

Hr should be aware of this and appoint another manager.

 

Thank you, I appreciate your advice.

As I said at the time I didn't want a big deal made of it and I wanted it to be resolved quickly with minimal disruption but now it seems I am the one on the chopping block.

I don't see what I did wrong other than leave the premises which I felt was the best course of action at the time.

I will contact HR and see what they advise.

Thank you again.

[king12345]

Don't get me wrong, I think leaving was the best option.

Now you need to explain why and you have to throw a mountain of fault at the bully by saying that you feared for your safety.

Floor them! (Morally of course )

[Emmzzi]

This will only work if the witness agrees, and any other witnesses who may have been there.

 

If the witnesses agrees the witnesses may end up jobless

 

The phrase the OP used was ignorant and rude, not "violent to the point I feared for my safety"

[Danro]

This will only work if the witness agrees, and any other witnesses who may have been there.

 

If the witnesses agrees the witnesses may end up jobless

 

The phrase the OP used was ignorant and rude, not "violent to the point I feared for my safety"

 

It is not my intention to go down this route, I didn't feel threatened but I did feel annoyed at the manner he spoke to me and the way he raised his hand toward my face.

I just want justice done thats all, I was wrong to walk out I accept that but he was also wrong with his attitude and raising his hand.

The reason I say justice is because I am attending a disciplinary hearing on friday and his actions have been swept under the carpet, if he hadn't acted in the manner he did I would have had no reason to leave work that evening.

[Emmzzi]

you have a choice of raising a grievance now. the disciplinary may be suspended pending the outcome of the grievance.

 

Or that may inflame matters more. It's a judgement call.

[Danro]

you have a choice of raising a grievance now. the disciplinary may be suspended pending the outcome of the grievance.

 

Or that may inflame matters more. It's a judgement call.

 

Yes, its kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't scenario but if I am right in my thinking and resigned to the fact they want to fire me then I have nothing to lose do I?

That said could I still raise a grievance after the hearing even if I am fired?

[Emmzzi]

I'd do it before so you keep getting paid while they investigate the grievance... *if* you are sure they are laying you off

[Danro]

I'd do it before so you keep getting paid while they investigate the grievance... *if* you are sure they are laying you off

 

I'm not.

[Emmzzi]

Then I'd keep my head down and work on sounding sincere in my apology for the hearing. Even if you hate the guy like burning.

[king12345]

I would go on the attack full blast with all weapons.

You let this bully off, he will get you sacked anyway.

So screw him and go on the offensive.

This is only my opinion, of course you could sit quietly and accept their b****cking so he can bully you again when you go back to work.

Another thing, the fact that you didn't fear for your safety shouldn't be told.

The only valid excuse you have to abandon the restaurant is that you feared for your safety.

That could also lead to reporting facts to the police and bully being sacked.

Edited February 19, 2014 by honeybee13
Language.