CSA - an unusual question?

[IanB1]

Hi,

After 14 years paying a privately agreed amount for my daughter, my ex is now wanting double the amount and threatening to go to the CSA if I don't pay up.

The unusual bit is that I didn't see my daughter for the first 13 years of her life and have recently found out that she didn't have custody of our daughter for 6 of those years (the ex was/is an alcoholic and drug user when she lost custody). Because I didn't know this, I paid her all those years.

I wouldn't mind paying a bit more if I thought the money would be spent on my daughter but I don't believe it would be and I really cant afford what the CSA calculator says I should pay.

Could I use the fact that she had 6 years worth of maintenance off me as leverage to stop her bleeding me dry?

Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[Guest]

welcome ian

why didn't you see her?

lost custody to who?

either way, how can it be sure if money is actually spent on the child?

best bet imo would be see a family solicitor if poss custody/visitation issues can't be resolved?

but, hang on for any further input:)

Edited September 30, 2013 by Ford

[IanB1]

Hi Ford,

It was a very messy break up before my daughter was born and she moved 200 miles away and wouldn't tell me exactly where. The only contact I had was the occasional call if she changed her bank details or wanted more money.

I see my daughter a bit now (not a lot because of the distance) but talk on phone/text.

She lost custody to her ex who was/is my daughters "dad" who is a very nice bloke and looked after her while her mum was doing all sorts of things that meant she couldn't look after our daughter.

[Guest]

hi

did you not go for custody?

anyway, am not really familiar with csa issues etc but see there is the so called 'family based arrangement' as an alternative to csa. also, found this site which may help in the meantime? http://www.cmoptions.org/ check out the site fully.

Edited September 30, 2013 by Ford

[Ros1609]

I'm not really sure what to advise. You can't stop your ex going to the CSA and if she does then they will just say that your private agreement was nothing to do with them so won't take it into account.

[*Thumper]

What a bugger !!!!!!

 

You've checked the calculater, and don't like what you see

So all you can do is make an offer, to her

bear in mind, she's probably seen the calculater aswell.

 

As for the previous payments, when she didn't have custody

If you have no written agreement, a visit to a brief, is in order

to ascertain if she's taken money from you, under false pretences