Murphy's Other Laws

[citizenB]

Murphy’s other laws

 

 

1: Light travels faster than sound: this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

2: A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

3: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

 

 

4: A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

 

 

5: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

 

6: Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

 

 

7: Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

 

 

8: The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

 

 

9: It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

 

 

10: If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

 

 

11: The things that come to those who wait may be the things left bythose who got there first.

 

 

12: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boatall day drinking beer.

 

 

13: Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.

 

 

14: The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

 

 

15: When you go to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of Jury service.

[duckwaddler]

I love them!

[Fred Bassett]

16. If at first you don't succeed, then parachuting is definitely not for you.

 

Incidentally, I've wangled my way out of jury service on the 3 occasions when my name has come up!

[citizenB]

16. If at first you don't succeed, then parachuting is definitely not for you.

 

Incidentally, I've wangled my way out of jury service on the 3 occasions when my name has come up!

 

[im-mad]

17 Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

 

18 An item will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

 

19 The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

 

20 The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

 

21 Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

 

22 Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

 

23 The first myth of management is that it exists.

Edited August 6, 2013 by im-mad

[citizenB]

17 Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

 

18 An item will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

 

19 The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

 

20 The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

 

21 Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

 

22 Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

 

23 The first myth of management is that it exists.

 

Excellent - I will add these to my list

[im-mad]

there are 3 laws that are universal

 

1. sods law

2. murphys law

3. the mother in law..

[citizenB]

there are 3 laws that are universal

 

1. sods law

2. murphys law

3. the mother in law..

 

[Nystagmite]

14: The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

 

I thought that was what the big toe was for?

[lookinforinfo]

No sooner than telling a joke on one thread, some one tells you that it has already been told on another.

 

Sorry couldn't resist it, Citizen B.

[determindator]

Termie's Law:madgrin:

[citizenB]

No sooner than telling a joke on one thread, some one tells you that it has already been told on another.

 

Sorry couldn't resist it, Citizen B.

 

Oh no, have I done it again

[determindator]

Oh no, have I done it again

 

No, it's that nawty Lookinforinfo:wink: