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Hey guys

 

I am 21 year old male. I am a good guy. I help grannies cross the street. I step in if someone is doing something wrong. I do the right thing.

 

But I am a gambling addict.

 

My father before me was a gambling addict and he got me down the same path.

 

It has been a long and painful path. I cant think of a day of my life i have enjoyed the past 2 years. This is where I stand currently:

 

I have £50 to survive to the end of next month ( live with parents )

 

I have about 6 payday loan companies expecting to take about £300 from my account in a few days. Nothing will be in there.

 

I also have 2 loans of £5000 with santander & nationwide.

 

I feel that both the above companies destroyed their duty of care when they gave me a loan, when I applied I didnt think I had a cat in hell's chance... I already had at least 4 outstanding payday loans, I barely ever paid my phone bill on time, I was on gamblers anonymous forums, I was in contact with gambling charities... if these companies spent 30 seconds looking into me I am certain they would not have given this loan.

 

I also have my car insurance due to come out - I can find a way to pay this - But i may have to pay someone else and get them to pay the car insurance for me - as if i put the money in my bank one of these companies is sure to take it back out?

 

I am seeking help for my gambling, I have quit cannabis but I can never quit gambling... I wanted to go to a rehab, but can only go if i have £10k to spare. LOL!

 

I am so depressed. I am making plans for when I become homeless.

 

I have a car and a job, but nothing else.

 

What should i do?

 

God bless you for reading this

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Hi joshmark

Welcome to the CAG.

Gosh you are so young to have all these problems.

Many will read your thread today and help and advice will come.

Stick around.

You have a car and a job.

What is the situation with your mum and dad.

Well done for quitting the weed.

I think someone will soon be advising you to change banks as soon as poss.

While you are waiting take a look at this.

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?396982-New-payday-loan-survival-guide-by-mike-dailly-govan-law-centre.%288-Viewing%29-nbsp

 

The guide will help you

If you can not afford to pay back your loan(s) on time

It will explain how to

1-Stop the payday lender taking money out of your account.

2-Challenge interest and charges where possible.

3-Manage the debt on a affordable basis.

4-Access fairer forms of credit.

Stick with it.

We are here for you

 

And i will do you a deal-

Somehow you quit gambling and i will quit smoking.

It is vital for both of us to beat our addictions.

I have had a heart attack and can not give up no matter what.

It could cost me ,big time.

I understand addiction.

How powerful it is

And remember-It is better to try and fail than not to try at all.

One day at a time.

No pressure ,whenever you feel like trying.

Let us beat it together.

I will keep a sharp eye on your thread.

Much advice will follow soon.

I promise.

And you have my support.

Edited by tawnyowl
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Hi Tawnyowl

 

Thank you for your kind words

 

My dad is an addict too and he is little to no use to me - he does love me but he is basically a potato

 

My mom is the best person in the world she is lovely - she is seperated from my dad and she worries about a £10 phone bill - if i told her about these issues she would be a nervous wreck

 

I am going to read the link now, thank you again

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Tawny owl has given some great advice. If you need clarification, come back and ask.

Any advice i give is my own and is based solely on personal experience. If in any doubt about a situation , please contact a certified legal representative or debt counsellor..

 

 

If my advice helps you, click the star icon at the bottom of my post and feel free to say thanks

:D

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Tawnyowl - the only thing in my life that keeps me going is staying fit - I am 6ft 3 and strong as an ox! do you have skype? I can advise you on smoking and healthy eating and you can help me too?

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You will have no doubt given the PDL companies to access your bank account - these are called Continuous Payment Authorities and you must tell your bank to stop these before the companies rape your account.

 

You can telephone the bank and advise that these companies no longer have your permission to take money from your account. And that should be sufficient. But you might need to drop a letter into your branch as well.

 

If they make these payments after having received your instructions not to, then the bank will have to repay you.

 

It might also be worth setting up a bank account with a different bank and having your income paid into the new account.

 

You are then going to have to deal with these companies at a later time. Work out how much you can repay each month to each PDL and ask for a repayment plan.

Have we helped you ...?         Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

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PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

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Hi joshmark

Seems we have similar interests.

I used to go to the gym 6 days a week at 50.Had a eight pack-LOL

Swim still do-In the sea-North Sea-Irish sea,wherever.

Everyday,patrol the coastline.

But heart is not what it used to be.

Due to my addiction.

I have not got Skype-but will do.

One of my friends is a top cage fighter in Britain.And America.

I would be delighted to take your advice on healthy eating and smoking.

Very kind of you.

I keep thinking about the Mediterranean diet.

But am clueless.

Maybe we will work this out together.

Let us beat these addictions.

Send them to hell where they belong.

Put them on a barbel and crush them with a sledgehammer.

 

Take the info that was posted from CtizenB about Continuous Payment Authorities.

You do not want your account being hoovered.They will suck the money right out.Of your account.

 

I an due to go on my patrol of the coast now joshmark,high tide is up.

Habit now,but healthy.

I am now addicted to walking the coast

And it is roasting out there..

I will be back later

Stick around,you are now amongst friends

Who will stick with you and help you through these difficult times.

You are young,got a job a car,that is one hell of a achievement these days.

Hopefully the payday problem will soon be over.

And maybe you may want help with Santander and Nationwide.

There are threads for those problems that may arise.If you need help just give a shout.

Only the addiction to go.You will get there.

Edited by tawnyowl
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Hi joshmark.

When you are next around i forgot to ask you.

What type of gambling is it.

I have noticed on the TV Football.Bingo Adverts which seem to be increasing.Then there is cards,horses,greyhounds all manner of things.

Even lottery cards and the lottery itself.

Even fruit machines.Casinos.

So many temptations for the young,all ages i suppose.

I suppose with modern technology it is easier than ever to gamble.Mobiles,computers etc.

 

Maybe this question is to personal.

You have already said you are addicted to gambling.

I suppose it is like asking me how many cigs do you smoke what brand.

Addiction says it all.

The only other thing i can add is this.

When a good friend of mine got in trouble with debt.If you get the drift.

He opened what i believe is or used to be called a parachute account.

So none of them could keep emptying the one he used.

But told nobody.

It worked for him.

Basic,no frills but handy maybe to look into.Just in case

http://www.co-operativebank.co.uk/currentaccounts/cashminder

Just a thought.

The last thing you need at the moment is any wages in a month or so you receive vanishing over night.

Edited by tawnyowl
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Hi joshmark,

 

Felt the need to post as I know what you're going through.

 

http://www.wanttostopgambling.com/

 

The link to the site offers great advice about gambling and stopping. Also have you thought about gamblers anonymous? They can also be a great source of support.

 

One thing I would say is that you are not alone with this problem and I know it's difficult but telling family apart from being the hardest thing to do will help you stop that hidden life feeling that all addicts go through.

 

I did and the help I got was invaluable.

 

You will get great advice in here about the PDLs as well.

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Just dropping in also to add my support.

 

Some good advice and kind words have been offered on this thread already.

 

You say you can never quit gambling? You're 21 with a job and a car. You've achieved already a lot more than many lads your age.

 

I'm trying to think of the inspirational quote I read on a different forum... It goes like "we can not win because we can not stop... If we don't start then we will never lose"

 

Would love to share my own personal story with you but I'm still not ready to share it on a public forum. I will be watching this thread and maybe in time I will share it with you.

 

I think one of the first things you need to do is cancel your bank card and follow the advice above about cancelling CPAs with the bank! Then when your account is secure and your finances are secure you can email or write to all lenders and sort out some arrangements to pay in installmenta.

 

All this will replace the time spent previously on gambling.

 

I know it's hard to stop gambling but you're in a lot of debt for a young lad... If it carries on where will it end? You say if your mum knew the extent of it all she would be a nervous wreck? Think about your mum if nothing else. Mums are great and they know best lol.

 

Maybe coming clean to somebody in your family would help? I know nobody wants to admit this sort of thing to loved ones but if it helps you kick this habit then it'll be worth it.

 

If you seriously want to give up gambling then you need to remove temptations. After your next big loss. When you're feeling angry or stupid with yourself for losing, (if its online gambling) send an email to each of the sites asking then to close your accounts for a minimum period of 12 months.

 

Could you have your wages paid Into mums account? Ask her to drip fees you cash as and when you need it for fuel etc. if you don't want to come clean to mum simply tell her that you're having a few problems budgeting and would like your wages to go into her bank and for her to distribute money to you each week!

 

Mums love this sort of thing lol!

 

I will sign off, just realised I'm writing an essay here!

 

Keep this thread updated and hopefully we will very soon be working towards day 1 of a gamble free life for you.

 

Regards

 

BM

It never rains but it pours...

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Hi Guys.

 

When I read your comments it really makes me feel that there is still hope in the world, there is still support and a chance.

 

I went out last night - I really didnt want to, since I started gambling I am more and more used to sitting infront of the screen. But I forced myself to go out with my friend, I feel a lot more positive today.

 

I am going to open a new bank account tommorrow.

 

How do you guys suggest I deal with this outstanding debt -

 

As far as I know my options are as follows:

 

Bankruptcy ( really affects my job )

IVA - Sounds good - but not too sure about it

Write a letter to each loan company - this seems an easy option but would leave me paying off these debt's long into the future - I still believe that Santander / Nationwide violated their code of conduct when they gave me a loan.

 

Seriously I dont think they did any credit checks at all... I was gobsmacked when the money came through. Infact im sure nationwide didnt even accept me but sent the money a couple of days later!

 

Tawnyowl - I am also trying to distract myself with some new series's

 

I am absoloutley in love with THE WALKING DEAD! Way better than losing my money!!

Also an old tv series called ROME is amazing.

 

Tawnyowl if your still into your training you shoud look up "brute force sandbags" the best training tool available!

 

Also for health and fitness my bible is the website "marks daily apple"

 

God bless you all, you dont know the level of encouragement and hope your comments give me.

 

Onwards and upwards! P.S Tawny, I may get into MMA when im brave enough! I trained a lot before, even when 90% of my time was spent gambling, so now I can train loads!

 

Thanks again

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If I'm honest I wouldn't get hung up on blaming the banks that gave you loans, you have enough to contend with. Not saying they were right but it won't get rid of the debt.

 

If your gambling is done online I suggest you download K9 software, install it, block gambling sites and have a friend put in the administrator password linked to their email. That will help you in the long run.

 

Stay positive, you can fix the problems it will just take time.

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Good morning Joshmark and anyone else around this fine day.

Nice to see you are still around.

For a twentyone year old you sure can write.

Well educated and a bright young person.

A bit to cover here.

 

Many will help you.

K9 software nice idea.

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/aboutk9/overview

I understand the Bankruptcy idea,but it will or maybe affect your job if you went that route.

Anyone else toying with bankruptcy or the thought of doing so here is a link

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/debt_e/debt_help_with_debt_e/debt_dealing_with_urgent_debts_e/bankruptcy.htm

 

It sounds like your debts are about ten to fifteen thousand.

Is this about right.

If there are more let us know.

I can assure you many on here including myself have had SLIGHTLY if i may use that word in its loosest tense bigger debt problems.In the past and present.And solved them and got relief and help from other members.Who had been through similar things.I came on here many years ago in a right state.I often made light of the fact of my problems,a way of hiding the fact i was in serious trouble.But many saw through the mask and helped me.

 

Anyway joshmark i will be updating as the day goes on,wish you well.

Keep watching the Rome series and The Walking dead.

Is this it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Walking_Dead_%28TV_series%29

 

And this-

http://watchseries.lt/serie/rome

One hour at a time.

Back as the day goes on.

Tom-a new bank account for you.

Here are a few letters to look through when dealing with your creditors

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/content.php?590-Creditors-and-DCAs-Letter-Templates-Budget-Planner

Just scroll down the page to find the letter you feel is right for you to write perhaps to Santander and Nationwide.

 

And through writing about your problem you have already helped one person.Myself

Tom i start fighting my addiction

One day at a time.

Reading through the posts,i see some people have been on who understand or have been through gambling addiction in their own lives.I hope they help you.The understanding of it.

 

Just wondering if you have a Continuous Payment Authority with the bank.For the payday loans

 

As for the MMA,a tough sport.

Did so much training-martial arts-Taekwondo-Lau Gar Kung Fu,weight training.

I reckon it has saved my life about 3 times.

I have seen murder,all sorts of horrific things.

Better clear that statement up.I appeared for the prosecution,and he got life.

At my age i maybe can defend myself against street fighters,not professionals- the like-to old now.

Had 3 mins with a chap in the 80s who had fought for the world championship in America.

You had to pay,but a hell of a experience.Reminds me those Birmingham lads were tough,they trained and trained.

It was about the time of the British riots.I was not in the same class or anywhere near reaching that standard..

Maybe to a youngster like yourself i thought this might interest you

 

You can train hard now.As you say 6 foot 3 and built like a ox.

You know the buzz that training gives.

A better high than gambling will ever provide.

For sure.

 

 

Thankyou for the info on"brute force sandbags" the best training tool available! I will take a look

 

Also for health and fitness my bible is the website "marks daily apple" Likewise.

See you later Tawnyowl.

Keep us updated on everything.

Edited by tawnyowl
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Hi Tawny

 

I am just going out for some sandbag training, but I wanted to ask you the following, as a few companies are expecting to take the money from my account on 01/08/2013 and it wont be there.

 

1 - When i write to both the payday companies and the banks - do i explain my situation and see what they suggest? Would i even explain the reason for my situation i.e gambling addiction? I am now going to GA meetings

2 - Or alternatively do i write them a proposal? Such as x amount per month? Though this would leave me paying for a long while - my debts are around £13k - £3k in payday loans £10k in bank loans.

3 - My car has a value of around £2000 - could i end up having this taken? I do need it for work so hopefully not. I feel this may be a silly question but I have never dealt with issues such as this one before.

4 - I would really hate for any of these companies to end up coming to my house or anything of that nature as my mom is a very anxious person and could not know about my situation.

 

Sorry for the rather serious nature of this comment but I wanted to sort this out tommorrow! Will post a reply again when i get back in!

 

thank you!

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Joshmark i feel is asking some very important questions.

I want to make sure the info and advice he is given is the best.

Do not worry Joshmark advice will come.

We will have your answers as soon as possible

You see joshmark i usually just write about the lenders,mix it up a bit. not advise anyone.

Perhaps a wise one will appear

Hey Presto

 

Help is coming.

This is the kind of magic you can't learn even in Hogwarts

The Site team has arrived.

Good luck,Joshmark.

I will keep watching your thread.

Your friendship request i was happy to receive and happy that you want old Tawnyowl as a friend

 

 

 

.

Edited by tawnyowl
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responding to tawnyowl's S.O.S.

 

Josh, I am going to ask others on the site team if they can also pop on and offer some advice.

 

What amount of debt (all added together) do you have ? That way we can direct you towards the right kind of advice :)

Have we helped you ...?         Please Donate button to the Consumer Action Group

Uploading documents to CAG ** Instructions **

Looking for a draft letter? Use the CAG Library

Dealing with Customer Service Departments? - read the CAG Guide first

1: Making a PPI claim ? - Q & A's and spreadsheets for single premium policy - HERE

2: Take back control of your finances - Debt Diaries

3: Feel Bullied by Creditors or Debt Collectors? Read Here

4: Staying Calm About Debt  Read Here

5: Forum rules - These have been updated - Please Read

BCOBS

1: How can BCOBS protect you from your Banks unfair treatment

2: Does your Bank play fair - You can force your Bank to play Fair with you

3: Banking Conduct of Business Regulations - The Hidden Rules

4: BCOBS and Unfair Treatment - Common Examples of Banks Behaving Badly

5: Fair Treatment for Credit Card Holders and Borrowers - COBS

Advice & opinions given by citizenb are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

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Is any of your finance secured against your car?

 

From what you say, you've simply entered the reason for requesting the loan as "to purchase a car". I'd this is the case then I believe your car is safe.

 

If it's all unsecured debt (payday loans and personal loans) at this stage setting up affordable repayment plans should stop the creditors taking you to court.

 

Unless your car is on HP or a loan secured against it (for example a log book loan), I don't think anybody could touch your car!

 

Of course, await further advice from those more knowledgeable and stick around to answer as many questions on here as possible to achieve the correct help and advise that you'll need to deal with this.

 

The guys here are fab and know their stuff!

 

Regards

 

BM

It never rains but it pours...

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Best i can do.

Hi Tawny

 

I am just going out for some sandbag training, but I wanted to ask you the following, as a few companies are expecting to take the money from my account on 01/08/2013 and it wont be there.

 

1 - When i write to both the payday companies and the banks - do i explain my situation and see what they suggest? Would i even explain the reason for my situation i.e gambling addiction? I am now going to GA meetings

 

Check the letters page the link for the banks.Everything is there.If you want to explain your situation.Why not.

But do not budge.Is there a advisor at GA who can back you up.Just a thought.

Only offer what you can afford.

 

2 - Or alternatively do i write them a proposal? Such as x amount per month? Though this would leave me paying for a long while - my debts are around £13k - £3k in payday loans £10k in bank loans.

 

Seems a good idea.If your income without the gambling has a good excess i suppose this is the best way to go

You are only young.The debt will go.

 

3 - My car has a value of around £2000 - could i end up having this taken? I do need it for work so hopefully not. I feel this may be a silly question but I have never dealt with issues such as this one before.

 

I would think unless they take you to court and get a county court judgement against you, which you then break then they may decide to ask for a baliff to seize goods..If you keep up with payments offered before it gets this far it will not arise.As Bombaymix said it is not secured against the car is it.Unsecured if not.

 

4 - I would really hate for any of these companies to end up coming to my house or anything of that nature as my mom is a very anxious person and could not know about my situation.

 

If anyone ever comes to your house.Ask them to leave.They are trespassing.When you have asked them 3 times and they do not call the police.

Do not hit them,they are only doing a job.Thinking of your size and strength.But i doubt anyone will come.Ever.

In my dealings with them,they have always left.Without any need to call them.

They do not want trouble.They only if lucky,get commission.Someone has to do it.To eat pay rent the same as us.

 

Sorry for the rather serious nature of this comment but I wanted to sort this out tommorrow! Will post a reply again when i get back in!

 

thank you!

 

 

I will now check my facts.To make sure this is reasonable advice

For you,your credit record for a few years will be trash.But the payments you make will show.

But at the end of it you will be proud of yourself.

And as before you are only 21.

And take a look at this.it may help.

http://www.stepchange.org/

Many links.

And just in case some IVA info.

http://www.stepchange.org/Howwecanhelpyou/IVAIndividualvoluntaryarrangement.aspx

Edited by tawnyowl
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Hi Joshmark,

 

Further to CitizenB's advice in post #7, call the bank to cancel any Continuous Pay't Authorities but back this up immediately with a letter dropped into your bank.

 

The banks did have a habit of saying CPA's cannot be cancelled by you, only by the lender. This is wrong so take no nonsense from the bank when you call and, if necessary, confirm that you know your rights in the matter and you insist the bank stops all CPA payments to X, Y and Z immediately.

 

Then back it up in writing.

 

:-)

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Hi

 

I just wanted to put in my tuppence worth and wish you all the best with everything, you seem like a good sound lad and I hope that you get through this.

 

You might want to look at OpenDNS software for your PC if online gambling is your thing, it's completely free to use, just get someone else to put a password in.

 

Best of luck, the other guys on here will help you get out of your payday loan problems, just remember at the end of the day it's only money, and there are far more important things in life than money. You're only 21 and have your whole life ahead of you, the best is yet to come and if you get these problems sorted now you'll enjoy those days even more

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Hey Josh.

 

When I was 21 I was totally useless with money and got myself in to a whole world of trouble. I'm now a qualified debt counsellor working in the charity sector. I can still remember just how my old creditors were with me.

 

I can see you've had some great advice so far, I just wanted to put a few other important points to you.

 

1) - If you choose an IVA you must be able to meet the instalments for the 5/6 years it is likely to last. Although you can modify the payments it can sometimes be tricky to do so - it usually requires the creditors' consent.

 

2) - If you decide to become bankrupt it's possible that the official receiver will ask you to eneter into a bankruptcy restriction undertaking; although you'll still be discharged from the bankruptcy after 12 months you could be subject to the bankruptcy sanctions for a little longer. This may not be a bad thing though - a lot of people feel having such a restriction keeps them on the straight and narrow, so to speak.

 

Do as much research as you can, take your time, ask as many questions as you need.

 

Best wishes,

 

Seq.

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Hi Joshmark

Where are you hiding.Or are you still sandbag training.

It is coming up to the end of the month now.

I hope you managed to open a account somewhere.Managed to sort a few things out.

Before your account gets hoovered by the creditors.

Charges will add up.Fees from the lenders etc.

 

Do not worry if you have not managed to do this.

We can work it out we have many options.

Letters,offers,budget sheets,many things.

It will work out.No matter,even if you have not managed to do anything.

 

IVAs,Bankruptcy,although you do not want to do this,because of your job.Many options.

I reckon you have pulled a muscle,that is why you have not updated yet.

I have done that a few times,you can hardly move for a day or two.

And when i had a few problems,i buried my head in the sand that much it took a week to dig me out.

And i was far from 21,in the wrong direction.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Tawnyowl..

Edited by tawnyowl
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Hi Tawnyowl, thank you for caring, you have made me smile on this dark morning.

 

I am havving a very depressed day today. Things are all coming to a head.

 

I have 2 bits of good news -

 

1- My need to gamble is signifigantly less

2 - I opened an account with securetrust - they charge £12/ month but never ever let you get overdrawn, if you get your wages paid in they keep the money back you need to pay your standing orders and only let you access the rest...

3 - I will be emailing every single company today, explaining I have no money and need to set up a repayment plan etc.

 

I am worried these wont be read until the 2nd and I will have extra charges put on, but I dont see much point in calling them, they probs wont do what I ask or answer the phone.

 

The bad news:

 

I am so depressed today I can barely lift my eyelids. My girlfriend doesnt know of my issue's - her parent has paid for us to go on holiday with them and I owe £200 for this holiday and they keep asking me for it now.

 

I have literally about £40 for food. I dont know what to do. The need to pay them is killing me. I think ill have to sell any possessions I dont need on ebay to pay for this.

 

Then my car is up for MOT at the end of the month, hopefully I can gather enough to pay but who knows.

 

It feels like even if i email all these companies and get everything sorted out, ill have to stop insuring my car for a month, or ill have to not have it mot'd, but then i dont know how i would get to work... and I am gonna have to sell anything I have left to pay for this holiday.

 

I dont know how I am sat at the pc to be honest, my mind just wants to shut down.

 

I have work now so I will try and do all the above, but these thoughts are really really hurting my mind,

 

thanks for your help again

 

Josh

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