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gifts from work colleagues


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Last week there was a hoo-ha at work and management are saying that gifts from staff to staff should be:

 

For birthdays only

Up to £10 only.

 

And for xmas only gifts for £10 purchased via a secret santa should be allowed.

 

Now, at what point can the county council tell me what I can spend my money on and the amount I can spend?

 

I'm told it's covered in the behaviours policy.

 

After taking union advise they recommended not giving or receiving at all.

 

At what point is a member of staff a friend? I was told if I give a present outside of the work premises this still counts.

 

Any suggestions / points if view (in law)?

 

Thank you.

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Have you actually read the behaviours policy? What does it say?

 

I can see why this rule is in place. I'd freak if a creepy guy at work gave me an inappropriately expensive gift and would worry about what they wanted in return. (Same with saucy gifts, and anyone who gives gifts to me and not other people. Stalkery!!)

 

I would think this is to protect everyone from harassment, and allegations of bribery/ coercion/ corruption.

 

Please tell me you haven't made a mix tape for someone you think is pretty...!

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p.s. what reasons did the union give and are you going to listen to them?

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The union answer was "if you neither give nor receive nothing can be misconstrued".

 

Isn't it a sad world when you cannot give anything with the best of intentions. One of the people I work with brought some fruit in last week as they have an orchard. The manager had to seek permission to accept some free fruit. What's that all about?

 

But, as I said originally, at what point can the council tell me how to spend my money.

 

What's next, telling staff how much alcohol and cigarettes they should buy with their wages? Which shops they should spend it at? Where does this type of control stop?

 

If a member of staff did not want a gift for their birthday I would know that as I only buy for 3 or 4 of the people I work with.

 

I'm so fed up with PC lunacy.

 

As an aside a member of staff, who I repped, was suspended for joking about getting so drunk he didn't know where he was. This took nearly 3 weeks to sort out!

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I have started replacing "PC" in my head with "common courtesy and consideration." It's amazing how similar they are...

 

If you are friends with someone outside work and want to give them a gift where you usually see them outside work, do it

 

Otherwise it's a little bit odd.

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If a member of staff did not want a gift for their birthday I would know that as I only buy for 3 or 4 of the people I work with.

 

 

By the way, many harrassers say things like, "if they didn't like it they would have told me."

 

That is usually untrue, as the harassee feels too intimidated to talk.

 

Don't assume you can mind read. You can't.

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I have started replacing "PC" in my head with "common courtesy and consideration." It's amazing how similar they are...

 

If you are friends with someone outside work and want to give them a gift where you usually see them outside work, do it

 

Otherwise it's a little bit odd.

 

I work in the care environment and staff are a lot more caring than office based types.

 

We have monthly social events and work well as a team.

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I work in the care environment and staff are a lot more caring than office based types.

 

We have monthly social events and work well as a team.

 

And no one in an office does that, right?

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So what does that behaviours policy say ??

 

The policy refers to accepting hospitality and service users.

 

I cannot find anything referring to staff.

 

I'm going to ask for a copy of what is being referred to.

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I can see why they have the policy - though you should actually read the policy, not just rely on second hand information which very often turns out to be wrong. When you buy someone a gift, that person is under pressure to reciprocate. That is fine if you are both loaded but a problem if the person receiving the gift is broke. The same argument is used about Xmas presents here: http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2009/11/10/is-it-time-to-ban-christmas-presents/

 

I can't see any reason why the policy would be illegal.

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I can see why they have the policy - though you should actually read the policy, not just rely on second hand information which very often turns out to be wrong. When you buy someone a gift, that person is under pressure to reciprocate. That is fine if you are both loaded but a problem if the person receiving the gift is broke. The same argument is used about Xmas presents here: http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2009/11/10/is-it-time-to-ban-christmas-presents/

 

I can't see any reason why the policy would be illegal.

 

At what point does an employer have the ability to stifle / control and person's decision to buy a gift?

 

If this turns out to be perfectly legitimate then we have strayed into very dodgy territory.

 

Freedom of expression?

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At what point does an employer have the ability to stifle / control and person's decision to buy a gift?

 

If this turns out to be perfectly legitimate then we have strayed into very dodgy territory.

 

Freedom of expression?

 

I am really concerned that so far you have not seemed to find any situation in which gift giving to colleagues could be inappropriate. Seriously, you can't see it at all?

 

I'm not comfortable giving advice to someone who seems to have no boundaries around others. Can you genuinely not see how it could be really creepy and scary, and that is probably why the rule is in place?

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I am really concerned that so far you have not seemed to find any situation in which gift giving to colleagues could be inappropriate. Seriously, you can't see it at all?

 

I'm not comfortable giving advice to someone who seems to have no boundaries around others. Can you genuinely not see how it could be really creepy and scary, and that is probably why the rule is in place?

 

If I gave a gift and said "here's my number, give me a call" etc that would be creepy and totally inapropriate.

 

Life is full of boundaries and we all live (mainly we all do) by these boundaries. These boundaries have some logic to them.

 

When I told the few people I buy for that buying gifts is being frowned upon they were horrified and basically said "i'll do what I want to do".

 

Assuming you're not joking with your messages you must think that a "nanny state" that controls people is a favourable situation?

 

I generally do what I want to do as I could afford to stop work for about 8 years. I'm lucky to have a second income.

 

I'm not used to being dictated to in a way that I feel in unnecessarily controlling.

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Assuming you're not joking with your messages you must think that a "nanny state" that controls people is a favourable situation?

 

 

Actually I am more used to dealing with women who have been pestered by creepy guys who cannot understand social signals, and I find your need for freedom to be less important than their need to be comfortable in the workplace.

 

Which do you think is more important?

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Actually I am more used to dealing with women who have been pestered by creepy guys who cannot understand social signals, and I find your need for freedom to be less important than their need to be comfortable in the workplace.

 

Which do you think is more important?

 

I do not know where you are coming from but you've totally misunderstood what's going on here.

 

The hoo-ha at work wasn't about this it was about other stuff (timekeeping, sickness etc) that's been going wrong for months.

 

Nobody has complained about gifts because I asked.

 

Management have decided to have some sort of clampdown and they are challenging practices that have been going on a long time.

 

My circle of friends are not happy about this (gifts) and are asking where the sudden interest has come from.

 

Nobody is being pestered here. Why do you think that?

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This seems more a matter of being told what to do rather than a genuine desire to buy a gift. tbh why would you want to? most people are actually uncomfortable receiving gifts at work, if you feel that strongly buy everyone a cake or buy them a drink at lunchtime . I actually think gift buying has got out of hand and your employer is right to put a cap on it. and does every last little thing have to be written into a policy? what happened to common sense?

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I don't think anyone is neccessarily being pestered but I am struggling to understand how you believe gifts could never be used for that purpose. You are so set on defending your "freedoms" you seem unable to think of other points of view.

 

One person's freedom can often be another's misery. My freedom to keep noisy dogs, play music at 3am, let my kids draw on walls, etc etc. "Nanny state" is another inflamatory term people sometimes use instead of "civilised society."

 

"Other stuff" is not what you asked about in your thread title. I am curious about why you posted on a board which offers opinions; you seem to only want opinions which agree with you. I don't think your views have shufted at all, have they?

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I don't think anyone is neccessarily being pestered but I am struggling to understand how you believe gifts could never be used for that purpose. You are so set on defending your "freedoms" you seem unable to think of other points of view.

 

One person's freedom can often be another's misery. My freedom to keep noisy dogs, play music at 3am, let my kids draw on walls, etc etc. "Nanny state" is another inflamatory term people sometimes use instead of "civilised society."

 

"Other stuff" is not what you asked about in your thread title. I am curious about why you posted on a board which offers opinions; you seem to only want opinions which agree with you. I don't think your views have shufted at all, have they?

 

I know that gifts COULD be used to harass others but this is not the case here.

 

I have no problem with being dictated to because mainly it's done for good reason.

 

I'm don't like being told what to do anyway but if you do tell me what do please make sure you have an explanation as to why.

 

I see your point about the nanny state but a lot of people who keep noisy dogs and plays music at 3.00am have no idea as to core values.

 

When it comes to others points of view I am listening to my circle of friends who think this is ridiculous.

 

We were told that if we give gifts outside of work it's the same as giving them inside work.

 

How does that stack up?

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How does that stack up?

 

That they are protecting their staff from nutters. Good for them says I!

Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

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Emmzzi is right. Just realise that it is nothing against you personally. THe company needs to protect itself and its employees so has a blanket rule on this. Personally iw ould just follow the rules and if you really want to send presents to each other, do it outside work. IMHO you are making too much fuss about something that is not really worth worrying about.

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Sad that people are stupid enough to stalk and harass others the thus forcing companies to add these policies.

Any advice i give is my own and is based solely on personal experience. If in any doubt about a situation , please contact a certified legal representative or debt counsellor..

 

 

If my advice helps you, click the star icon at the bottom of my post and feel free to say thanks

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