Jump to content


style="text-align: center;">  

Thread Locked

because no one has posted on it for the last 2981 days.

If you need to add something to this thread then

 

Please click the "Report " link

 

at the bottom of one of the posts.

 

If you want to post a new story then

Please

Start your own new thread

That way you will attract more attention to your story and get more visitors and more help 

 

Thanks

Recommended Posts

Hi there,

 

I work for a large supermarket. I have had 4 periods of sickness in 12 months and yesterday I was asked to attend a discerplinery to discuss this. I took along a colleague as my witness. During this meeting my manager proceeded to tell us all in the room the reasons for my periods of absence. One time I was off work for less then a week after having a miscarriage. And that was my personal business that I didn't want anyone to know. He blurted it all out in the meeting and now 2 other people know my private business. I felt sick and shocked he had laid my life bare for others to see it was a massive violation. I then had to finish a 8 hour shift feeling devastated and humiliated. I did not sleep at all last night and my partner is very upset by what my manager done. Today my manager didn't speak to me and he obviously knew I was annoyed. Where do I go now? All the managers and team leaders are one big click and so talking to HR won't help me, and if I did complain they would find any reason to get me out! I really don't know what to do now. Thanks in advance.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sorry this has upset you so much. I think it was inevitable the reasons for absence would be mentioned. I am not quite sure how you expecte that to be handled?

 

When you say "where do I go now", what do you want to happen next?

Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

Link to post
Share on other sites
I am sorry this has upset you so much. I think it was inevitable the reasons for absence would be mentioned. I am not quite sure how you expecte that to be handled?

 

When you say "where do I go now", what do you want to happen next?

 

Thanks for the reply. I knew they would discuss the reasons and had it of been any other reason I wouldn't of minded. He said " this time you had a miscarriage so due to the seriousness of that we shall disregard that asence" Why did he need to say that? Surely he has no right to say that?

Link to post
Share on other sites

i'm sorry to be blunt here but only because it is what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

 

You went to a meeting to discuss your sickness of which 1 occasion was due to a miscarriage, unless they knew in advance you wished this to be kept confidential it was always going to be discussed as it is a fundemental part of the reason you were there, you chose to bring someone with you who found out in this way, i'm afraid that was your choice.

 

However, now that bit has been covered the meeting should have been done in relation to this absence in a compassionate manner (something i chose not to do above as i was concentrating on the procedural side and although i am sorry for how this happened fluffing it up doesn't help you) in addition to dismiss you for reasons related to pregnacy would be automatically unfair, absence due to pregancy reasons is still absence but should be counted separately, if your employer has a totting up procedure and this absence took you over that limit then you are able to appeal that you should not have been called in but as you have not stated any form of sanction against you they may be able to argue they were just bringing this to your attention and then wait for you to pass the totting up level with an absence which is "fair game" down the line.

 

Without knowing the outcome of the meeting it is hard to say more.

 

edit, beaten to my reply there i see

Link to post
Share on other sites

If it was true, yes, he can say that. I am afraid if you did not want it discussed in front of your witness, you needed to agree that beforehand, or pick a differemt witness you didn't mind knowing.

 

Again, I'm sorry this has happened to you, and that it has affected you so deeply. I don't want to mak things worse; I am not sure escalating things will help. I am certainly glad this period of leave was disregarded.

Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, sorry to hear what happened to you.

 

I actually don't agree with the other posts. I think your manager has behaved insensitively. It may have been necessary to mention the precise details of each absence at the meeting (although actually I'm not sure that it was), but your manager ought to have had the common sense to realise that this was a sensitive matter and to have told you prior to the meeting that this might be discussed - that way you could have at least been prepared and could have decided whther you still wanted to bring in a witness or not. Nobody likes to have surprises sprung on them in disciplinary meetings, and this is something your manager could have avoided.

 

Your manager sounds like a 'David Brent' character - insensitive rather than malicious, but the way he's done this could leave him open to an accusation of sexual harassment/discrimination. Personally, I would have a quiet word with him or if you can drop him an email to let him know you weren't happy about the way he brought up your medical history at the meeting.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Emmzzi. I do not think the company have done anything wrong. You were attending a disciplinary about the number of times you have been absent, which would be pointless if the reasons for the absences were not discussed. You can expect the company to treat your situation sensitively and keep things on a "need to know" basis, but I do not think you can expect them to keep it private from people who need to know why employees are absent.

 

The people handling the disciplinary have to exercise independent judgment. It is difficult for them to just accept what your immediate manager says about disregarding a particular period of absence, as they have to look at the situation independent. I think that if you did not want your colleague to know he should not have been taken into the meeting. The miscarriage must have been an awful situation. But please remember it is nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about.

PLEASE HELP US TO KEEP THIS SITE RUNNING

EVERY POUND DONATED WILL HELP US TO KEEP HELPING OTHERS

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Agree with most of the above, the manager was prehaps a bit insensitive but not malicious, it happened, you were off sick, you have had 3 other periods of sickness, it was mentioned, were the resaons for the other sickness mentioned? he said it was being disregarded so he probably felt he had to say briefly why, I really think that trying to escalate this would just be dragging it on and make things worse. TBH most people who know will have probably forgotton by tomorrow and anyone who does remember would only feel sympathetic and respect your wishes not to discuss it further.

If I have been of any help, please click on my star and let me know, thank you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks fir all the replies. I got a verbal warning for poor attendance. The three other sickness periods were mentioned but no detail was gone into. One was when I had a problem with my leg, this was common knowledge I was on crutches for weeks. One was for stomach bug over Xmas, everyone at work caught it including my manager, the doctor signed me off in the publics interest as I work with food and the last one was last week I was heavily dehydrated after starting a new diet regime. I actually came into work but was very ill and my manager said I wasn't fit for work and sent me home.

If he knew he would mention the miscarriage I don't understand why he didn't pre warn me. I am not ashamed of it happening or embarrassed, It is something that I have come to terms with but it is a very upsetting thing to happen to a couple. I am a private person and even our families did not know that we have lost a child so I don't feel that my manager had any right to tell 2 fellow colleagues. He could of just said personal matter or even of said there is one here would you like to see it, rather then read it out loud. I feel a huge sense of sadness and I feel let down. I work for one of the big 3 supermarkets, you would think that a company if that size would train the managers to be more sympathetic? I really am not bothered by the verbal warning, at the end of the day I serve 100s if customers every day and I am bound to catch things from them. I can't help getting ill and I always make sure I have medical evidence from doctor to cover myself so they don't think I'm swinging the lead. I just feel now like I don't have a private life and I really don't have faith in my personal details remaining private.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone's limit for what they are happy to discuss is different so it's really hard to say "here, this is the one universal standard all managers will work to."

 

I suspect you and your manager have very different limits. If it would help you, you may like to make him aware of that, calmly, in private. I don't think they have done anything "wrong" but it may be helpful for them to know for the future.

Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would take the approach suggested by Emmzzi, have a quiet word with the manager and let him know about your medical history being brought up unannounced at the meeting.

 

I do think the employer is in the wrong here. They should have known that it was a sensitive matter and told you before the meeting if it was going to be discussed, or as you say, referred to 'personal reasons' during the meeting. Unfortunately, you can't really teach common sense and many managers, particularly in large organisations, get to where they are through length of service rather than managerial ability and people skills.

 

I also think that the decision to give you a warning is harsh, particularly given your personal circumstances. I appreciate that you have had several periods of absence for various reasons, but these reasons were all valid. Also, on one occasion you came in for work and your manager decided to send you home, presumably without telling you that these absences were being totted up for a disciplinary. Warnings for repeated absence are something of a double edged sword, the chances are that you might now come in to work if you are sick and potentially cause other staff to become ill. So I'd consider appealing this warning.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Recently Browsing   0 Caggers

    No registered users viewing this page.


  • Have we helped you ...?


×
×
  • Create New...