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Severe Dementia - Vulnerable Adult

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My uncle has recently been hospitalised after the 4th fall in a week. I am his Nearest relative which under the Mental Health Act is his Next of Kin.

He has dementia and a urine inferction which made him more confused than normal. His private carer who was in charge of ensuring his safety, apparently went home for a bath and left him alone till night time carers came in to put him to bed. This is despite the fact that an ambulance was called two days previously when she had done the same thing again.

He has been besotted by her - he is 97 - she is now 51, but clearly marriage has been discussed and he had said she knows how much he cares for her and has left her comfortably off.

After a rocky 4 weeks in hospital and a realisation he may not walk again he has begun telling us what has been going on behind closed doors, over a period of a week, we have taped quite a bit of it on our phones and I've typed up transcripts under the suggestion of a nurse.


He says she takes his papers away from him so he cant see what is on television, she takes the controls off him so he cant find out what's on and she leaves him in the evening with no access to television or newspaper so he is in silence.

She also threatens him regularly that is he doesn't say please and thank you for everything so she won't do this and that for him. He's always said it to me for everything.

When he grovels to her promising to say please and thank you for every little thing. She then says "it's no good apologising, it's too late now, I'm going and I'm never coming back". He evens mimics her voice when he tells you - deep and threatening.


Then today he was transferred into a care home for the first time and a housekeepr was with me when he called out "I know i cant marry you, you know i'm fond of you. I'm sorry I promise I'll say please and thank you all the time if you let me have some dinner. I'll do anything you want please". Suddenly his voice changed it became deeper and sterner and it said "too late now, no good apologising now, i'm going and I'm not coming back, get yer own dinner!"


Later I asked what she gave him to eat and he said "cubes of cheese", i asked what he had with it, he said "more cubes of cheese". I asked what she gave him for hot dinners and he said "I used to have hot meals, proper dinners but i can't manage proper dinners now, she says it's bad for my stomach".


I asked "dont you ever have hot dinners any more?" - "not any more, she says it's bad for my stomach".


My question is would this be a subject for the police to investigate. We have some tapes if they want to listen to what is said. But would they say is is a dream or hallucinations. some times he's perfectly lucid and he sounds angry about it and when he's stressed and out of it and saying it, he sounds frightened but still goes on about how fond he is of her.

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Pleaase will you space out your posts rather more. They are very difficult to follow in a solid block and it will reduce the help you get.


I've edited it a bit for you.


I think that you need to get a secret camera or recorder set up. You can get them in clocks or radios. I suppose a clock is better if he is being prevented from using a TV etc.


If you can get independent evidence in this way, it will helop a lot.


Who is her employer?


Maybe a mix of contacting the police and her emp[loyer at the same time might be helpful.


This kind of hing is very much a sensitive subject at the moment so I can imagin that people will take it seriously. However, indpendent evidence is pretty important.


Are you sure that no attempt has been made to get him to make a will?


Thjis kind of thing - http://www.amazon.co.uk/CAMERA-HIDDEN-DIGITAL-SECURITY-CONTROL/dp/B004APOZ0M/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1362811468&sr=8-5

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If the carer has gone home twice and left him I would say that you have grounds for a different carer to be appointed immediatley, dont forget you are the employer and as such what you want is what she is employed to do. The will is massivley important if he has dementia as he canmt possibly be able to write a will if he isnt fully compus mentis. please dont waste time recording things etc get the carer changed asap yes if she has done wrong the police should be called but more importantly is his health and welfare so please act quickly.

if he is going to be in a care home now then obviously there is not a problem apart from requesting that she dosnt visit, contact the employer and social services.

If I have been of any help, please click on my star and let me know, thank you.

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