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I am not even sure where to begin

- I have read through many posts, and no-one seems to be in a situation as bad as mine.

 

Today, I am feeling so bad I feel as if I can't go on any more.

 

We have over £80,000 of debt in total on

mortgage arrears,

credit cards,

payday loans

- you name it.

 

All I have done is borrow more money to keep going.

What an idiot I have been.

 

I have contacted Payplan recently, but am waiting to hear back from them with their proposals, but I know they are going to say we must go bankrupt.

 

We have three properties,

one we live in,

two (our previous homes before we married) rented out to cover the mortgages-

- all with almost no equity

- and we willl lose everything I know.

 

I have read posts on forums from people who are coping, and reducing their debt,

and some of them seem so smug that they have done the right thing,

not stupid like me

 

 

- and then those who say people like me are foolish, but it just makes me feel worse.

 

Christmas is coming

- I have not a penny to spend

- I have a large grown up family and grandchildren etc and have had to tell them there is nothing this year.

 

You can't imagine how that feels.

Is there anyone who has as much debt as we do, and has lived to tell the tale?

Edited by citizenB
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You are NOT a failure!

 

I know of more than one person who is in billions of pounds of debt and they are still laughing and living the high life, THE GOVERNMENT!

 

All you have done is what any other educated person has, your trying to make ends meet and have a life.

 

I am in circa 60k of debt, all unsecured, and I am able to sleep at night, but my circumstances are very different to yours.

 

You've done the hardest part, by asking for help and advice.

 

The only thing you could lose are materialistic. None of which are more important than YOU!!

 

You will get some very good advice here, and with payplan, have you tried the national debtline they have a freephone number and will send you some really useful information to guide you through your best options. http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/budget_sheet.php?country=england_wales

 

Please don't be at all worried about bankruptcy, it no longer carries the stigma it once used too, it is simply indicative of how successive governments have consistently failed us all.


Who ever heard of someone getting a job at the Jobcentre? The unemployed are sent there as penance for their sins, not to help them find work!

 

 

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People are not smug for reducing their debts, they are relieved they got to grips with it.

 

Sorry, but if you just want a "there there" pat on the hand, this is the wrong place. Man up.

 

Christmas is coming and there's no money, so what? Stop buying into the crass commercialism. If you must celebrate it because you're a christian (are you?), make things, you'd be surprised how cheap it can be. Bake cakes instead and decorate them with a personal message. This isn't about keeping up appearances.

 

You have 3 properties, so it's not as if you were destitute. Sell up or go bankrupt, but see a good advisor about that first. Then start from scratch. It won't be easy, it never is, but what else are you going to do except sit there and wait for the banks to repossess them anyway when you can no longer keep up?

 

If you go bankrupt, payday loans et al can't touch you anymore, you start afresh.

 

One thing is sure, it's not going to get better by doing nothing, so it's up to you where you go from there. One thing is certain, christmas shouldn't be the top of your worries right now, so letting go of the non-essentials would be a good starting point.

 

Edit: LOL, just saw BB's post written at the same time as mine, and see the signature? "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere!" That is absolutely bang on the money for this thread! :madgrin:

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First off, you are NOT a failure.. you are sadly a victim of the economic muddle this country as a whole is in.

 

You need to sit down and prioritise your debts. PDLs and credit cards go right to the bottom of that list.

 

Secured loans/mortgages - council tax - essential living are at the top.

 

Have a read of the thread which is linked below..

 

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?296861-For-everyone-who-feels-like-giving-up-Please-read-this-and-take-heart-x

 

This lady was very brave in telling her story, believe me you are not alone and there are those who have been in far more debt and come through the other side.

 

Take a look at all your unsecured and low priority debt - are there any default charges or perhaps PPI that might have been mis sold. Can you let us know which companies you are in debt to?

 

Have you spoken to your Mortgage provider, can they reschedule your mortgages ?

 

You have taken the first step in acknowledging that you can no longer continue to support debt, with further debt - I am sure with some support from CAG and armed with a decent budget plan.. you will get through this.

 

:)

 

 

There is little shame in advising family and friends that they will receive a Christmas card only this year. As long as they know you love them, I am sure they will understand.


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Advice & opinions given by citizenb are personal, are not endorsed by Consumer Action Group or Bank Action Group, and are offered informally, without prejudice & without liability. Your decisions and actions are your own, and should you be in any doubt, you are advised to seek the opinion of a qualified professional.

 

PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO GIVE ADVICE BY PM - IF YOU PROVIDE A LINK TO YOUR THREAD THEN I WILL BE HAPPY TO OFFER ADVICE THERE:D

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Can I also ask if you have actually revealed all of this to your grown-up family?

If you are trying to manage all of this in secret, then no wander it is a strain.

 

Tell them all about it and you will feel a huge weight off your shoulders - and that will help you to divert more energy towards dealing with the problem.


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I am not even sure where to begin

- I have read through many posts, and no-one seems to be in a situation as bad as mine.

 

Today, I am feeling so bad I feel as if I can't go on any more.

 

We have over £80,000 of debt in total on

mortgage arrears,

credit cards,

payday loans

- you name it.

 

All I have done is borrow more money to keep going.

What an idiot I have been.

 

I have contacted Payplan recently, but am waiting to hear back from them with their proposals, but I know they are going to say we must go bankrupt.

 

We have three properties,

one we live in,

two (our previous homes before we married) rented out to cover the mortgages-

- all with almost no equity

- and we willl lose everything I know.

 

I have read posts on forums from people who are coping, and reducing their debt,

and some of them seem so smug that they have done the right thing,

not stupid like me

 

 

- and then those who say people like me are foolish, but it just makes me feel worse.

 

Christmas is coming

- I have not a penny to spend

- I have a large grown up family and grandchildren etc and have had to tell them there is nothing this year.

 

You can't imagine how that feels.

Is there anyone who has as much debt as we do, and has lived to tell the tale?

 

Hi

 

There has been, are and will be people with situations like you and worse.

 

Nobody should judge you as who can confidently say what is round the corner.

 

It happens, things get out of control, it is very likely to get worse right across the board for many others before it gets any better

 

More important, is that there is always a solution, you may have to bite the bullet a little though depending on your excact circumstances and try to keep your chin up, help is out there

 

Losing everything may not happen but it is difficult to guide you further without more information.

 

Prioritising debts in the short term is usually the way to go but again depending on the full circumstances.

 

You never know, you may have more options than you think

 

I see you have contacted Payplan but there are other agencies, its up to you though and depending on the urgency of your situation (you mention mortgage arrears for example).

 

If you put up your Statement of Affairs (SAO) best you can, there should be people on here to guide and support you further while you await contact with Payplan.

 

Best wishes and post again if you can

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