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I need help/advice please.

 

BACKGROUND - Line Manager has been bullying me for a good few years. I have logs of dates and what the bullying amounts to but as I feel like an outsider despite the number of years of employment (large company) I have never taken out a grievance.

 

Earlier this year I had a mental breakdown and was signed off work for a few months, breakdown caused by health problems, finances and work related issues (see above). On my rerturn to work I have been widely ignored by manager and some colleagues, have seen them whispering about me (looking at me whilst whispering), and im pretty certain manager has breached my confidentiality regards my 'issues' as a colleague tried to engage me in conversation hinting at my 'issue'. I am currently under the community mental ealth team, have had a work assessment by company doctor etc.

 

I am currently suspended on full pay pending investigation of gross misconduct inc security breach.

 

Basically someone i know posted on a SM website about the bullying ive endured and i added a throwaway comment of what turned into a jokey 'thread' on the site saying i could allow them access to do something. Which I have not.

 

Colleague fell out with another i am friendly with and attempted to get her into trouble, when this failed she obviously knew who i was (i dont use my real name) by conversations on the site between my & the friendly colleague and set about reading my posts and subsequently the conversation/thread mentioned above. This is assumption on my part that she did this but it makes sense and as yet I do not know the actual evidence but putting two and two together it appears I am right about my comment on the site being the issue.

 

I have not named names or the company name. I am completely anonymous on the site.

 

I belong to the union. I have not felt them to be very helpful, ive spent all my time on suspension reading employment law etc without any help or constructive advice from them. I have compiled a large file of information including other colleagues posts on the site that are far worse than what I said in respect of work. I also have a large document bulleting each point and also details of the bullyig I have received from my manager (who has no managerial skills what so ever). I am so tired and down in the dumps it is affecting my already fragile mood.

 

I spoke to a very helpful person at ACAS who gave me far more information than my union representative. After mentioning I had spoke to them my representative has told me that if I continue to ask for advice outside the union they might decide not to represent me. Is this right? Surely I can seek advice from wherever I see fit?

 

What do I do at my interview? Do I go in all guns blazing? Present them with everything which could bring down quite a few colleagues or save that should the matter go further? Do I admit to anything and hold my hands up? Do I present them with and take out a bullying greivance against my manager? All this I feel I should have been advised on but I haven't and I feel like I am going it alone. Aside from a 30 minute get together before the interview with the representative I feel I am the only one who has prepared for this. Im stressed out, not eating, my hairs falling out, lost weight and going further on a downer.

 

I have not gone against any codes of conduct as far as I can see. Aside from a silly comment that someone with an issue has taken time to trawl and find on a website with the intention of getting me into trouble. Its so pathetic its like working in a playground. I keep my head down and get on with it when im there but now it as come to this part of me wants to be indictive as possible and bring them down with me.

 

Hope that all kind of makes sense and thanks in advance for any help and advice.

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Firstly there is no point in my opinion of trying to get others into trouble by saying they have done far worse things than you the company at the moment are only interested in what you have allegedly done.

Did you post the comment that you feel has got you into trouble? if you did then I would say that you need to apologise, point out that it couldnt be connected with the company if that is the case,however the fact that you made a comment about a security issue allbeit that you intended it to be a joke, is a serious matter and would indeed be gross misconduct. what are the other issues that they are disiplining you about and is there any truth in them.

On the breach of confidentiality by your manager as you say you are assuming that your manager has said something but you have no actual proof of this and it may be that due to your health problems you are thinking that they are talking about you when they may well be speaking about something else, again you dont have any actual proof of this.

As far as a grievence goes for the bullying you can put one in but I dont think that this will save your job if the company find you guilty of gross misconduct if that is what you are hoping for.

This is a very difficult situation for you, what are the chances of you getting a similar job elsewhere, do you want to leave? I am sure other people will have a better idea of what your options are but companies do use gross misconduct as a way of dismissing people immediatley how long have you been employed there?


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Hi thanks for your reply. I have been there over 12 years. Im very much a get on with the job in hand type and am not part of the clique, always have been, just the way I am.

 

The issue is a drink problem (not full blown alcoholic and never drink at work/before work) of which I am seeking medical help. 9(may as well be onest, get it all ot on ere). The colleague in question, whom i rarely speak with, tried to engage me in a conversation by randomly asking if I like a drink of scotch! Thtas very telling to me that her good friend/my manager has breached my confidentiality. Would my mental health & alcohol problem be taken into consideration? At the time of the comment I was under the influence. I am soon to start detox.

 

Im quite happy to hold my hands up and apologise for what I said. However I did not make what they deem (if I am right on this being what they have got me on) is the 'threat' of doing something, that was made by someone I do not know. A faceless individual from the internet.

 

I love my job, not so much some people I work with but i treat tem with the dignity and respect they deserve as set out in their polocies. Ive never broken any rules at work. hard working. I dont want to leave, I feel if I do I have been pushed out and the relentless bullying will have worked.

 

I so miffed at my union representative. I thought they were there to help and advise which I dont feel is the case hence me going to ACAS.

 

(apologies my H key is temperamental)

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ok.

 

friend : xxxxx is being bullied by her manager. has been for years. nasty piece of work.

faceless individual : go and s*** in herbag

friend : lol. dont have access to building

me : i do

 

 

now, my 'friend' has plenty of opportunity to access my pass and enter said building. of course they havent and wouldnt.

 

im a beary wary putting this on here but if it helps then so be it.

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So you haven't actually personally said anything against them - even indirectly!

 

This is a strange situation and I'm not sure of the answer. I don't think that a company can realistically expect its employees not to speak to their friends about work issues, but they can expect it not to be broadcast on Facebook!

 

Your friend is more in the wrong then you here.

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Thanks. It wasn't on FB but that's neither here nor there. I have previously said ages ago I work with a bunch of idiots but would someone seriously sit there & trawl through all my posts on a forum unless they really have it in for me?

 

Like I said, I don't fit in, never have, my manager has probably been waiting for this day.

 

I've been told not to discuss with colleagues and assume they have been told not to discuss. However today I received an email from a good colleagugr saying they know I can't mention it but to wish me luck for ****day How would they know that's my interview day? Breach of my confidence again?

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Sorry. Edited coz I'm so paranoid

Edited by RXQueen

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Saying this can be arranged out of hours may be intended as a joke but may not seem like it to your boss, almost anything that is said can be taken the wrong way by someone.


If I have been of any help, please click on my star and let me know, thank you.

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I know. Such a silly thing to say. I intend to make no comment & ask for evidence on all the points they are saying I've broken & go away & build my case. I will however present them with the details of the bullying endured by my manager.

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Sounds like you are approaching the situation logically good luck


If I have been of any help, please click on my star and let me know, thank you.

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Thanks. Appreciated. I've borrowed my mates suit so I look serious about it. Guess I'll update tomorrow

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Hello again.

 

Today I received the news I was dismissed as of yesterday for GM after my disciplinary. I will be appealing the decision.

 

Just a quick question. What I have been dismissed for I am not the only person to fall under GM if I look at the comments made on public forums by at least 4 colleagues. I have copies of these comments & the vindictive part of me wants to point out their misdemeanours to higher management. Why should they get away with what I have been dismissed for?

 

Good idea? I will be bringing up a grievance about my manager as well.

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Understand that you are feeling vindictive but be careful with the retailiation, you may find that management are not that interested and it just looks like sour grapes. Please think carefully before you try getting other people into trouble, you have got to live with your actions. sorry to hear you have lost your job


If I have been of any help, please click on my star and let me know, thank you.

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Thank you both. One of the pieces of evidence I have is worthy of an instant dismissal on the spot for that person. I'm very angry with the decision esp as they seem to think I think the whole thing is a joke. I've taken the whole thing very seriously throughout & was apologetic & offered to mediation to repair the issues between myself & colleagues.

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All you are likely to do is take others down with you.is that your wish?


Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

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All you are likely to do is take others down with you.is that your wish?

 

Not necessarily! Inconsistent treatment is a valid legal argument, and I've seen a few tribunals won that way!

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If the comoany have got rid of you once even if they reconsidered due to inconsistent treatment and ofered the job back, do you really want to work somewhere that has got rid of you once, I suppose you might get a small payout if the treatment was unfair but is it worth it it in terms of effort etc . Mud slinging or telling tales on otheres is not a very proffesional way of going about things.


If I have been of any help, please click on my star and let me know, thank you.

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Thanks again everyone. I'm so angry. Can't prove it but I'm certain someone was asked to spy on me.

 

Anyway have written draft & sent to union. Mitigation completely ignored in decision, evidence not 100% complete

 

Any tips for things to mention during appeal? I just want to "clear" my name. I've been harshly dealt with.

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So, I need to apply for another job whilst waiting on my appeal going through. I can't really go back just want to have the decision overturned.

 

What do you say to a potential employer regarding reason for leaving previous job? GM doesn't look good does it? Going to scupper my chances.

 

Thanks x

Edited by RXQueen

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Try and get some agency work to fill the "last 2 references" slots. I'm not totally sure what to tell the agency... I'd probably go for honesty, but see them in person.


Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

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Thank you x it's been a good few years since I've had to apply for work. Is honesty always the best policy I ask myself?

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It is if there is an easy way to check if you are lying.


Never assume anyone on the internet is who they say they are. Only rely on advice from insured professionals you have paid for!

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It would depend on the reason you are leaving your employment.

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